We read the other reviews and went anyway.
Our trip started with finding the place on-line and then wondering whether the prices were a mistake, nope, it really was £18/night Bed and Breakfast.
We arrived and were pleasantly surprised by what greeted us until the check in clerk informed us that there was no hot water. Oh well, we couldn't really go anywhere else as the hotel is 11km from the nearest village and there is no public transport (we had arrived by private car from Trinidad). That said all the staff were really helpful going out of their way to assist.
Undeterred by the plumbing situation we dumped our bags and headed off to the Spa. This was generally clean and well presented and again the staff were delightful. We had a dip in the thermal pool (very nice, but very smelly) and then asked Carlo the masseur whether we needed to book for the morning. No, just turn up any time between 8:30 and 14:30 (Staff bus back to Coralillo leave at 15:30). How many people are staying? He looked at us quizzically: Two. Ah, that will be us then.
And so it proved. We were the sole guests for two nights, with a staff of about 20 to look after us. The room was OK but a bit down at heel, and the bathroom was a bit grubby.
The Spa was nice, the treatments good and spectacular value for money by European standards, although the spring water tends to corrode everything so some of the fixtures and fittings looked like geological specimens.
The normal swimming pool was open air and seemed clean apart from some leaves and stuff that had blown in. We were going to have a dip until my wife spotted a small dead snake floating in the surface. The plastic furniture around was a bit dilapidated but we managed OK.
On the third day we were joined by some more guests and all the loungers by the pool were replaced with brand new stuff.
The restaurant was OK. The menu was a bit uninspiring and limited, even by Cuban standards, and even then, at the beginning, some items were unavailable. I think they did their best with limited resources.
The place as a whole was a large soviet era hotel complex that has seen better days, given an additional air of surrealism by being almost deserted, hence the title of the review.
All that said, if you're prepared to put up with downsides it's an amusing experience. In a perverse way it was one of the highlights of our holiday.
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