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Review of Kalia Beach Hotel

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Kalia Beach Hotel
Ranked #24 of 36 Hotels in Kato Gouves
Manchester England
Level Contributor
8 reviews
8 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 59 helpful votes
“Look again”
Reviewed October 30, 2013

Ok before I start this review I think it only right that I let you know a little about us:
We are a couple who makes the most of things and not people who take pleasure in taking photos of bits of fluff under the bed and counting how many times the towels are changed. We do not know the names of all the staff or the names of the poolside cats.
We are not horrified when a strange insect enters our room for a quick nosey about. We do like to get out as much as possible. We do like to eat the local food and meet the local people. We do not take our own tea bags and favourite baked beans with us (cos there not like wot you get at ome are they?)
That done with, back to the Hotel and it's location:
I read a lot of the reviews on here and decied to give it a shot. I went with the attitude that I hadn't paid much and I was not expecting much.
I really wanted to give this Hotel a good review and blast all the critics who slated the place. Alas this is not to be.
We arrived at about 9.30pm and was shown to room which did not resemble in any way the photographs the hotel has posted. It had 3 beds in a very small space but what the heck we would be only sleeping in there so we duly dropped our bags and went on the hunt for the bar and some food (more on the room later). We found the bar and got one drink in a plastic cup before the all inc finished. we asked if there was a snack available because we hand't eaten since breakfast to be told the kitchen was closed. when I offered to pay all of a sudden a full menu was produced and the kitchen mysteriously re-opened.
Next moring and we were raring to go. Went for a shave and found the plug from the sink missing had a shower and as other people have commented the shower curtain is to short and flooded both the bathroom and the bedroom even though I was careful. Only one socket but I knew about that from reading other review and i took an extension lead. The bed side lights had been pulled out of the wall so only one small bulb. Oh well as I said we are only going to sleep in there. (Iwas issued a plug at reception later).
Food:
On reading the bad reviews I thought it was. a case of Brits not getting the "food like wot we get back ome" but I was wrong......... it truly is awful And is dished out to you by a nice lady wearing a thunderbirds hat who could't understand that I didn't want sheeps (chips) with everthing. The food was always cold ,even when it was first put out, but I have been to most greek islands now and this seems par for the course. They are trying to cater for British tastes whilst still being a bit Greek and they are failing on both counts. I had already decided that the food was not going to be brilliant by reading the reviews so it didn't really bother us as we eat out a lot anyway. Anything they dont have to cook by the way is good, the salads were really nice. The chef can cook but is obviously given a very low budget to work with.
The Hotel was closing on the day we were leaving and there was only around 20 people staying there so I think they could have done better.
The Guests:
This hotel seems to attract the sort of person who does not leave the confines of the hotel (except to seek out brown sauce and John Smiffs Smoove) from the local supermarket. They sit in the same place at the bar day in day out and use expletives that I have never heard before (even after my 20 years in the Army!) I am serious! I never saw most of them set foot outside the hotel which brings me nicely to the location.
What was not really mentioned in the other reviews was the area the hotel was in. I think this is because the vast majority didn't venture out. The place is like a run down English seaside town on a Suday afternoon. There are better locations on Crete to spend your holiday don't stay at any hotel in this area unless (like us) you hire a car and see the other parts of the island which are far more vibrant.
Enough has been said about the hotel bar and limited drinks already.
The staff are mostly eastern europeans and are very hardworking and polite.
To summarise:
I really wanted to give this holiday a blazing review(as I have on most of my other reviews) but sadly this one is going into room 21.
This doe's not mean we didn't have a Brill holiday, we did, because we got out and about and spent a lot of time with the locals and went to some lovely places. Go to Crete but, if you can afford just a bit more of your hard earned, go to another location not gouves.
The weather by the way was brilliant I went swimming in the unheated pool most days

Hope this has been helpful.

  • Stayed October 2013, traveled as a couple
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Helpful?
8 Thank Stevethedent
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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Rating summary
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Traveler tips help you choose the right room.   Room tips (90)
Date | Rating
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English first
Level Contributor
6 reviews
3 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 30 helpful votes
Reviewed October 29, 2013

The staff were amazing like last time as we arrived we received a warm welcome and our drinks were ready before we got to the bar. A massive thank you to Thanos, Vagellis, Albi, Adam and Despina. I meet some fantastic people which made the holiday fun fun fun. Rooms are basic but very clean and thank you for the extra pillows! Remember if you don't ask you don't get. Air con wasn't required this time but is available if you do need it at a small charge, so don't be tight about it. The safe is only €2 per night. Food is fine, I don't eat meat but I found something every day and yes there was watermelon again and I enjoyed every slice. Drinks are limited but I converted to brandy and orange and it did the trick, was merry most nights. The area has shops and bars if you want to venture out. We even went to the market in Heraklion and picked up some bargains. The pool area is of a good size and clean, they don't have pool towels so I took the one I bought last time for €5 so it had been well used. loved it at Kalia and would return tomorrow. Roll on next season for trip number three!!!

  • Stayed October 2013
    • Value
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Helpful?
12 Thank CallyMagnum
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
bolton manchester
Level Contributor
18 reviews
11 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 28 helpful votes
Reviewed October 29, 2013

arrived at hotel around 5pm. we were given room 102 which was downstairs and next to the reception facing a car park. we did request upper floor but disappointed. we then opened the door to the room and you could not swing a cat in it! (sorry for my expression) twin beds could not be separated apart because room was too small. we insisted an immediate change which we was told yes the next day. we did not unpack that night at all. the bathroom was horrid and the shower curtain did not reach the floor hence it flooding the bathroom every time you showered.
the next morning we were given a new room upstairs and this was much better. larger room to move beds apart and lovely balcony. the same bathroom but the shower curtain did reach the floor so our bathroom did not get soaked. we were fine now!.
we did make a lot of friends there and we compared our rooms with theirs and they are all different shapes and sizes. some are huge family rooms larger balconies. but most all flooded the bathrooms.
the bathrooms are seriously dated and covered in lime scale and just so old.
all the staff at the hotel are extremely friendly and helpful especially thanos who will talk to you in good English and the lady receptionist I forgot her name.
the hotel grounds are great plenty of good sun beds. the bar drinks are limited in what you can get so check it out. I don't drink alcohol so never had a problem. but I had a problem with soft drinks they don't serve any diet drinks whatsoever so as a diabetic I lived on water most the time. in the restaurant you can't serve yourself you have to form a line and wait to be served. there is not much of a choice pork pork pork lol. chips chips chips. all meals are only just warm and not hot as we would like it. all in all the food is nice but just not warm. breakfast tip. DONT TOUCH THE MILK. its disgusting, I am sure its powdered an it comes in glass jugs and its warm.
get your own milk from the supermarket next door. and keep it in your own fridge in your room.
all in all the holiday was great and we made great friends at night sat round the tables. the resort was extremely quiet and you can get the but to hersonnisos 15 mins up the road for a measley 3 euro 20 cents a couple one way.
we went shopping there most days. we also went to agios Nicholas on the but too. for a few extra euros and also the city heraklion for bigger posher shops.
so just 2 let downs. 1 the food is only just warm. 2. the bathrooms are shocking.
I would return to hotel kalia beach again but not for another few years.
oh and just to let you know we all got bit to death by mosquitoes. so take plenty of cream and deterrents. we all itched to blood.
ps. don't go off the picture on the internet jet2.com that's the family room which is large.

Room Tip: if you want to feel safe at night with balcony doors open, then choose upper rooms. rooms on the s...
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  • Stayed October 2013, traveled with friends
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Helpful?
2 Thank johnny1960
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
1 review
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 3 helpful votes
Reviewed October 25, 2013

we had a lovely week here. Staff very nice and friendly, room was clean, food was lovely, lot of moaning English people about silly things , you get what you pay for.first time in Crete, would go back for sure, Thanks Adam, Thanasis, veggelis, albi, yanis for good laughs... Love from the 2 giggly sisters

  • Stayed October 2013
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Helpful?
3 Thank shaz-Missy
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Newquay, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
61 reviews
14 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 35 helpful votes
Reviewed October 24, 2013

After reading the derogatory reviews by previous visitors, my wife and I wondered what we were letting ourselves in for. However, we have just returned (25th October) from a very enjoyable two week stay at the Kalia Beach Hotel. Admittedly the hotel is rather 'tired' and the rooms are very basic with minimal facilities (shower was pathetic) but hey, you gets what you pays for. On the plus side, the staff were fabulous, friendly and helpful all day long and the pool area was a very relaxing spot. We had no problems with the food, nothing fantastic but I am a very 'picky' eater but had three good meals every day although I have to say we had a rather lot of pork! The location is ideal, right on the beach front road with good beaches within walking distance, plenty of shops, bars and restaurants adjacent and half a mile up the hill were the bus stops. Here you could get one of the many frequent buses, which we would call coaches, to various destinations far and wide at a reasonably cheap price. I'm not sure if we would visit again as we always like to try new destinations but for a cheap holiday the Kalia Beach hotel was excellent value.

Room Tip: Try for a sea facing room with larger balcony or a room facing west.
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  • Stayed October 2013, traveled as a couple
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Helpful?
3 Thank Alan B
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Durham, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
19 reviews
4 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 7 helpful votes
Reviewed October 23, 2013

very shabby room no double beds patio doors closed with difficulty bath didnt work shower a mere trickle the room wasnt ready on the first night the food adequate the all inclusive bar drinks a poor choice snacks very few .
positives the ice cream was okay the pool nice and they let us stay in our room until our transfer on the last day .

oh and its definetley on the flight path every 20 minutes day and night

Room Tip: dindt see any good rooms
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  • Stayed September 2013, traveled as a couple
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Helpful?
1 Thank M400K
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Carlilse
Level Contributor
5 reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 7 helpful votes
Reviewed October 19, 2013

Arrived at Kalia Beach Hotel at 11.30pm, tired and hungry from a long day travelling, We were a party of 7, oldest being 77yrs and used a stick to walk! An 'All Inclusive' holiday we asked if there was any food available only to be told NO, but if we wanted to pay for it we could eat in THEIR restaurant, 'Zorbas', part of the hotel! We didn't eat there and found a lovely place 5mins down the road called 'Pella', and they did take-away, so pizza and chips all round and it was lovely. After being checked in, we were shown to our apartments. My partner, his mum and I were sharing and it was ok, unfortunately, it was up a flight of stairs that 'mum' could not do on a daily basis, so we asked for a room on the ground floor, but there was none available until 6pm the next day, which we accepted. The second room was much smaller, albeit on the ground, at the back, looking at a pathway and garden, 3 beds in one room, a small shower room, no bath, a wardrobe with 5 coat hangers for 3 adults? and a small fridge! Air-con was at a price, 7 Euros per day! I dont think so! FOOD.....Its true what others are writing, its disgusting, yuk! Breakfast was miserable........:( Lunch was pork, pork, pork,.....Dinner was pork, pork, pork and salad and cheese, everyday! Ate out on many occasions. Jet2 need to take a look at this place, food awful, beds hard, no entertainment, (same greek guitarist every night, playing the same tunes every night!) Bar closes for 'all inclusive' at 10.30pm and then you have to buy the same rubbish you've had free all day! Watered down lager, I could strip paint with there 'Raki', Ouzo yuk, Brandy yuk, and the Wine, more like 'put it on your chips'! If it hadn't been for the wonderful ppl we met at Kalia, our holiday could have been a disaster....Yayyyyyy, 'The Naughty Corner'! Giannis n Thanos, our waiters, they are the best, they speak good english and make a real effort to please evryone. Would we go back....NOOOOOOOOOOO! Anyone thinking of going, please think again, and read others reviews, its all true what they say!

  • Stayed October 2013, traveled with family
    • Value
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    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
3 Thank Elkavox
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.

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Additional Information about Kalia Beach Hotel

Property: Kalia Beach Hotel
Address: Kato Gouves, Gouves, Crete 70014, Greece
Location: Greece > Crete > Heraklion Prefecture > Gouves > Kato Gouves
Hotel Style:
Ranked #24 of 36 Hotels in Kato Gouves
Price Range (Based on Average Rates): $
Hotel Class:2 star — Kalia Beach Hotel 2*
Number of rooms: 70
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Also Known As:
Kalia Beach Crete
Kalia Beach Hotel Kato Gouves, Crete

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