Have just returned from a 7 nights stay at this hotel with my wife, we booked through Travel Republic and including flights from Manchester, staying half board in a standard room with a sea view the cost was £650 each.
Upon arrival I was blown away by the monastery entrance with the piped music of monks singing and main reception in the volcano shaped main building. Cocktails on arrival and concierge help with luggage were great 5 star touches.
The room was fantastic, large and tastefully decorated with a great view over Marina Rubicon and sea, nice balcony and ok the balcony furniture was a little’ tired’ but so far so good, I really thought I’d arrived in holiday heaven. The room had a fridge, dressing table, safe, and even an umbrella in the wardrobe, a television with 30 plus channels, only 2 English speaking though and the rest either Spanish or 6 German speaking.
The pool area is unusual with two separate pools, the first appearing to flow out of the ‘jungle’ area in the main hotel lobby, with the second on a lower level but this a larger pool meandering around several sun lounger areas and under the main restaurant. During the week we never had any problem getting a sun lounger. A couple of negatives, the pool area did have chipped paint around the sides which did give an unkempt impression, the sun loungers were old and the covers in need of repair.
On the evening of our first night I arrived at the ‘Buffet Restaurant’ to enjoy my 5 star evening meal. I was greeted and shown to a table in the conservatory area. Restaurant is large and very busy. Up to this point I was enjoying my holiday, my wife and I commented how we’d managed to find this hidden gem. The waitress came to take our drinks order, she spoke directly to my wife but totally ignored me. I tried to catch her attention but was blanked, I had to leave my seat and chase after her to give my order. Upon catching her she was obviously annoyed that I’d given her an extra drink order. When the drinks arrived I was again blanked and made to feel as though I didn’t exist. The waitress gave the bill to my wife to sign and made no attempt to even acknowledge me. Dear reader I’m a 48 year old middle class company director from Cheshire and I’m left feeling like a leper with a serious BO problem. We however laughed the incident off putting it down to the eccentricities of the Spanish plus a very busy waitress.
The choice of food was plentiful, however the quality and taste although not bad was I’m sorry to say overall average and bland. I think they tried to give too much choice, falling into the common pit fall of doing too many dishes poorly rather than a few but doing them well. The staff did seem extremely busy at all times, and I did notice during the week various official looking men and women with clip boards in the restaurant observing what was going on and making notes. They obviously know they have problems, my advice from what I observed 1. Less choice but better quality 2. Hire more staff so the atmosphere in the restaurant is not so stressed and rushed. Some of the food served also was not to the English taste, I struggled with Rabbit and although I like pork, having the ‘pig’s trotter’ attached did turn my stomach.
Sorry to go on about this point, I did have a further ‘incident’ when I ordered drinks for the table and another waitress who started having a stress attack at me, she couldn’t speak English and thus she kept repeating herself in Spanish but became more agitated and louder with each ‘request’. The whole restaurant was looking at us, which was very embarrassing. She then asked a German couple on the next table to translate, turns out she wanted my room key card to charge the drinks to, this was a new procedure as previously you were asked just to sign a chitty and input room number. I did make a formal complaint about this incident to hotel management.
We did have lunch and used the lobby bar and the experiences here were totally different with Pedro the bar man being absolute pleasure and looking geniunly pleased to see a guest, and I think it’s spelt ‘Nemiseo’ the pool waiter who was also a real joy. Both engaged the customer and made one feel valued, defiantly five star service. The quality and choice of the lunch menu was second to none and a totally different experience to the main restaurant.
The restaurant or ‘Slop Shop’ as we ended up calling it was generally poor right the way through the holiday. The breakfast experience was improved, the quality of food better however some issues here being; the cereal which is an English favourite is separate from the milk which is on the other side of the restaurant, both are separate from the spoons needed to eat cereal. The traditional cooked English breakfast is on the counter which is where a chef prepares food on request and live. There are almost constant queues in this area which prevents access to the serving dishes which contain the eggs, bacon, sausages etc. the other English favourites. I did get the feel that this hotel didn’t really cater for the English.
I did enjoy my stay at this hotel and would return, the next time however would be on a B & B basis, there’re numerous high quality reasonable prised restaurants in the Marina which is only 5 minutes walk from the main hotel.
So in summary Hotel and everything to do with the hotel except the restaurant 10 out of 10, restaurant 0 out of 10! Thus the average rating overall.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Hotel THe Volcán Lanzarote is placed in the South of Lanzarote, the island of the volcanoes. This is a five-star-resort that is distinguished by its excellence and its privileged location. With the yachting port Marina Rubicón at its feet and facing the sea, you will find this spectacular hotel designed as a typical village of Lanzarote. At it you will admire the distinctive architecture of the island. But you will also discover true replicas of emblematic places of the island like the church of Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe in Teguise at its entrance, or La Geria at its solarium. Hotel THe Volcán Lanzarote disposes of 255 rooms, five pools, four restaurants, three bars, conference rooms, a spa center and a gym. In addition, in Hotel THe Volcán Lanzarote you can enjoy a new exclusivity concept at its Club Volcán, an area only for adults. Hotel THe Volcán Lanzarote features 255 rooms that are distributed over twenty typical houses and give magnificent views of Lanzarote, Fuerteventura and Lobos Island. Designed taking care of every detail and where the sea blue colour stands up, we put at your disposal three room categories: the comfortable Double Room (Garden View, Sea View, Pool View), the elegant Junior Suite (Garden View, Pool View) and the outstanding Suite (Garden View, Sea View, Pool View). Following a new concept of luxury and privacy, we dispose of 48 rooms that form the Club Volcán, exclusively for adults. In the categories Double, Junior Suite and Suite, every room enjoys spectacular sea views. Hotel THe Volcán Lanzarote puts at your disposal a wide range of entertainment, sports, leisure and relaxing offers, providing an exquisite treat and service. Moreover, from the hotel you can directly access Marina Rubicón, which disposes of an ample shopping and leisure area. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Gran Melia Playa Blanca
- Sol Melia Playa Blanca
- Gran Melia Volcan Lanzarote
- Hotel THe Volcan Lanzarote Playa Blanca