Three double rooms were pre-booked for 2 nights for a friends walking weekend. One couple arrived early and were given a room in the converted outbuildings. On arrival the other 2 couples were given keys to the last 2 rooms available as the Inn was fully booked. One was small,smelt of soot and was named 'Weedon'. The other had a double and a single bed, with a bathroom down some steps, rather reminiscent of a hospital/nursing home.
Dinner was fine with some good meals and some a bit indifferent.
However, the nightmare was yet to begin for the couple settling down to sleep in 'Weedon'. As the husband began to watch the TV he realised something was crawling in the bed. The wife sprang to life immediately and the couple began the fight with the intruders. The white sheets became a bloody battleground. The couple quickly dressed and the husband went to find someone 'in charge'.
The couple were given clean sheets and a pack of new pillows, some reassurance the the insects probably came from the river close by, and were left to remake the bed and settle for the night.
Unfortunately, the insects quickly returned. The wife attempted to camp on the floor with the new pillows but little brown crawlies soon invaded. The couple were defeated. The only recourse was to contact the friends with the spare single bed in their room and a large upmarket car, which could make an impromptu camper van for the desperate.
Fortunately, the friends replied to the unusual text message and accommodated the refugees for the night in their spare single bed. At least they did after a period of mass hysteria. Obviously little sleep was had in a single bed by a couple who have been married for 34 years, sharing a room with an hysterical friend who the wife had luckily known since school days.
Breakfast was a busy affair and the couple tactfully told the landlord about the night's desperate adventures. The landlord apologised and said that 'Weedon' was a room not often used. He said that the bed would be burnt and that he would accommodate the couple in the 'four-poster' room which had just become available and not charge for the previous night.
As it was unlikely that the 3 couples would find accommodation for the night elsewhere on a bank holiday weekend they agreed.
The couples returned exhausted after a day's walking on the South Downs in the late evening. All were keen to investigate the room with the four poster bed. The bed was made and on close inspection by all six, passed the insect free test. Clean cups and towels were in evidence but the room had clearly not been vacuumed or cleaned. A wine glass was left outside the door with leaves and other debris. The other 2 couples reported that their rooms were also not clean with dust on surfaces and numerous cobwebs, with filthy extractor fans in the bathrooms.
The next morning the couple in the room with the spare single bed reported that their room had not been serviced and consequently the bed was not made, the towels had not been replaced, cups were left dirty and there were no biscuits.
The breakfast was good, the staff were friendly and polite and we expected that the landlord would be present to check us out and sort out our bills. He did not appear although he was seen in the building earlier. The couple with the insect infestation paid for 1 night only. The couple who had to share their room and did not have their room serviced were given a £30 reduction. The couple who had chosen the best room paid the full rate of £90 a night but were given the responsibility of arranging all our walks, probably for evermore.
We can only recommend this hotel for budding entomologists.
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- Also Known As:
- The Swan Hotel Fittleworth
- Swan Hotel Fittleworth
- The Swan Inn Fittleworth, West Sussex