Usually I enjoy this campy place. The decor reminds me of something John Waters would throw up. Usually people are really personable, food is on point, and the general atmosphere is fun. Not this time, y'all!
Two of my friends and I decided to go to the diner after a play performance we had just had. We were waiting for another cast member to arrive and informed the host of this. He rudely informed us that we weren't allowed to sit down without the full party (even though every table that sat three was a four top). He said that this was their policy and that we had to wait and he couldn't help us until our friend arrived. Well, our friend wasn't answering us so I made the executive decision to eat without him! So, the waiter decided to seat us. He made sure to add that he would seat us at the four top anyway... just in case. Bro, couldn't you have done that in the first place?! This would have made sense if we were waiting for two or three more people and would have used an extra table before needing it, but seating three people as opposed to four people doesn't waste any unnecessary space.
So. Time goes by. We wait. Positive and excited to eat even after that. Eventually we get drinks and the usual dining experience commences. My boyfriend ordered a grilled cheese (an $8.50 grilled cheese), my friend ordered the cesar wrap, and I the nachos. My friend mentioned that she wanted some honey mustard for dipping purposes. Our food came out relatively quickly. My friend never got her extra sauce and we had to wait for that. We began eating. The nachos were gross. I asked for chicken and it was a three dollar up charge. I was expecting real chicken but this was processed stuff that was on the same level as Taco Bell burrito chicken (no hard feelings T-Bell, I love you when I'm drunk), and for three dollars, I could have gotten three burritos there.
My friends enjoyed their food. Refills never came. Waiters and waitresses seemed to walk past our table like we were all carrying the bubonic plague. The short gentleman from the beginning of this tale was especially avoiding us. After about forty minutes of sitting around awkwardly with out dinner finished, someone finally decided to mosey on over. She asked if she could take the plates. We said yes. She asked if we needed anything else. I said I had my eye on some chocolate cake and wanted coffee. She smiled and said okay and informed us that our cake options were in the cabinet.
Twenty minutes went by. Coffee never came, cake never came, and the waitress disappeared. She emerged after that long twenty minutes and helped other tables that were literally next to ours, but waited another ten minutes until she came over and asked if we needed anything else. This girl is either Dory from Finding Nemo or completely oblivious to customer service.
I told her we needed the check. Sadly I wasn't going to get the flourless chocolate cake. She bounced on back five minutes later. We saw we couldn't split the check... something that is easy enough to do. All of us have worked as waiters. We know of the split check button. Eventually we got up to the front. Paid the check and the guy behind the counter asked how the meal was. I told him it wasn't so good and gave him a run down of our service. He looked pretty surprised and pointed out that we were sitting pretty blatantly visible. i told him I would miss the cake. He didn't seem to care.
We never tipped. I gazed at the pez dispensers on the way out knowing I'd never see such an extensive collection again.