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“Uh, hello? Is anyone there?”
Review of Papermoon Diner

Papermoon Diner
Ranked #71 of 2,026 Restaurants in Baltimore
Certificate of Excellence
Price range: $1 - $20
Cuisines: American, Diner
More restaurant details
Restaurant details
Good for: Families with children
Dining options: Lunch, Late Night, Dinner, Breakfast
Baltimore, Maryland
Level Contributor
2 reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 3 helpful votes
“Uh, hello? Is anyone there?”
Reviewed August 17, 2013 via mobile

Usually I enjoy this campy place. The decor reminds me of something John Waters would throw up. Usually people are really personable, food is on point, and the general atmosphere is fun. Not this time, y'all!

Two of my friends and I decided to go to the diner after a play performance we had just had. We were waiting for another cast member to arrive and informed the host of this. He rudely informed us that we weren't allowed to sit down without the full party (even though every table that sat three was a four top). He said that this was their policy and that we had to wait and he couldn't help us until our friend arrived. Well, our friend wasn't answering us so I made the executive decision to eat without him! So, the waiter decided to seat us. He made sure to add that he would seat us at the four top anyway... just in case. Bro, couldn't you have done that in the first place?! This would have made sense if we were waiting for two or three more people and would have used an extra table before needing it, but seating three people as opposed to four people doesn't waste any unnecessary space.

So. Time goes by. We wait. Positive and excited to eat even after that. Eventually we get drinks and the usual dining experience commences. My boyfriend ordered a grilled cheese (an $8.50 grilled cheese), my friend ordered the cesar wrap, and I the nachos. My friend mentioned that she wanted some honey mustard for dipping purposes. Our food came out relatively quickly. My friend never got her extra sauce and we had to wait for that. We began eating. The nachos were gross. I asked for chicken and it was a three dollar up charge. I was expecting real chicken but this was processed stuff that was on the same level as Taco Bell burrito chicken (no hard feelings T-Bell, I love you when I'm drunk), and for three dollars, I could have gotten three burritos there.

My friends enjoyed their food. Refills never came. Waiters and waitresses seemed to walk past our table like we were all carrying the bubonic plague. The short gentleman from the beginning of this tale was especially avoiding us. After about forty minutes of sitting around awkwardly with out dinner finished, someone finally decided to mosey on over. She asked if she could take the plates. We said yes. She asked if we needed anything else. I said I had my eye on some chocolate cake and wanted coffee. She smiled and said okay and informed us that our cake options were in the cabinet.

Twenty minutes went by. Coffee never came, cake never came, and the waitress disappeared. She emerged after that long twenty minutes and helped other tables that were literally next to ours, but waited another ten minutes until she came over and asked if we needed anything else. This girl is either Dory from Finding Nemo or completely oblivious to customer service.

I told her we needed the check. Sadly I wasn't going to get the flourless chocolate cake. She bounced on back five minutes later. We saw we couldn't split the check... something that is easy enough to do. All of us have worked as waiters. We know of the split check button. Eventually we got up to the front. Paid the check and the guy behind the counter asked how the meal was. I told him it wasn't so good and gave him a run down of our service. He looked pretty surprised and pointed out that we were sitting pretty blatantly visible. i told him I would miss the cake. He didn't seem to care.

We never tipped. I gazed at the pez dispensers on the way out knowing I'd never see such an extensive collection again.

Visited August 2013
Helpful?
1 Thank Lena B
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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307 reviews from our community

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Rating summary
    Food
    Service
    Value
    Atmosphere
Date | Rating
  • English first
  • Portuguese first
  • Spanish first
  • Any
English first
Bel Air, Maryland
2 reviews
“This is a must if you are visiting Baltimore!”
Reviewed July 30, 2013

From the artistic charm, to the food and service...this is one of the best places I have ever been to in Maryland! I would recommend it to everyone; especially if you are sightseeing in the area. I am also a vegetarian. There were plenty of options for my son and I. Thank you for a wonderful experience.

  • Visited July 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank Melissa S
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Ellicott City, Maryland
Level Contributor
88 reviews
46 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 55 helpful votes
“Adequate”
Reviewed July 30, 2013

The ambience is certainly unique--a rather unsettling collection of toys and odd ephemera. It's not quite charming enough to be classified as quirky though, just disconcerting. The food was straightforward but unimpressive. The Fancy Pants Burger was, frankly, boring. I make better burgers at home. One of the other diners got the Turkey Reuben and was quite pleased. The turkey was tasty and the blend of flavors were good. But other places do a Reuben just as well. The last member of our party ordered the Vegan Wrap and, just as the burger was, the wrap was boring. Bottom line: The food was adequate, but uninspired. I wouldn't take it off the list, but it's certainly not a must.

  • Visited July 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank agatha56
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
YUMA
Level Contributor
175 reviews
90 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 67 helpful votes
“fun and yummy”
Reviewed July 20, 2013

A warning--my seven year old was a little creeper out by the decor. You can see pictures elsewhere, But the doll heads were an issue for him.
Fantastic service, despite being hugely crowded.
A parking lot next door, free, makes this even better considering the location with hard to find parking on the street.
We all had burgers in our party from the extensive selection and all thought they were great. Pay extra for yummo onion rings are sweet potato fries. Also try the shakes, though the bacon one is a bit weird.
Enjoyed our visit thoroughly.

  • Visited July 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank eliana23
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Toronto
Level Contributor
235 reviews
131 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 123 helpful votes
“The art and memorabilia makes this a necessary stop in Baltimore!”
Reviewed July 16, 2013 via mobile

I had an amazing grilled cheese with havarti cheese, mango chutney and baby spinach. It was extremely tasty. The apple pancakes were equally tasty. The decor is worth the visit alone. We had fun picking out our favorite piece and pez! Prices were good considering portions were generous. Overall a great dining experience. Avoid weekends though - very lined up.

  • Visited July 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank Mandy007
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.

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