Stay on the Big Island - Maui, even though it's touted as paradise, now has way too many people!
When we go back to Hawaii, we will most likely go to Molokai, or Kauai.
We stayed in Kihei - when we went south, tons of great places to snorkle - you can get away from the people and have your time to yourself.
Of course, the cities of Kihei and Lahaina - tons of people shopping for little trinkets made in TAIWAN - I'm sorry, but buy things made in Hawaii - and that will last. Just another tourist trap - I would stay away from the main cites, and enjoy the natural beauty, if I were you.
Problem is, if you want dinner out, you have to get into the mix. It's almost as if I were at just another resort on the mainland. And the kids - parents need to learn to control their bratty kids (I never got to go to Hawaii as a kid - and man, these people must have money, because Hawaii is expensive for 2 - let alone 4 kids wanting everything they see!
The Big Island is where it's at - you have Kona, then you have Hilo. Go to Maui for a day or 2.
But, here's a wonderful shot of a sunset in Kihei.