It's hard to decribe how I feel about this trip. We stayed the weekend of May 22 for our fifth wedding anniversary.
When my husband and I saw the sign and pulled into the property we were saying "no way!" From the moment you see the place, you feel as though your time machine has worked. And it has taken you back to the era of late 70s/early 80s cheese. There is lots of red and black and weird smells for sure. But the staff was wonderful and bent over backwards to be friendly and accomodating.
Upon entering our room (a Garden of Eden Apple) I had a mini panic attack. The building looks like a prison from the outside and the inside looked like the set from "A Clockwork Orange." There are no windows in order to keep things private and "romantic" but it creeped us out to feel caged in and have no clue when the sun rose and set.
While it was completely outdated and stunk of must and mildew, it was actually clean. It was a non-smoking room, but this is a newer policy and the smell of years before cigarettes permeated the carpeting. I actually felt physically ill the entire time I was in the room. Housekeeping brought in an "ionozer" which didn't help at all. But a few glasses of wine helped out with that. And for the records, the drinks are insanely pricey. Each time we visited the bar and each ordered a drink it was $18.50--so $20 w/tip. Good thing we smuggled our own champagne for the anniversary.
The activities and entertaiment were weak, but amusing. The house band and singer Byrd Pressley was HILARIOUS. He simulated a five minute orgasm onstage. Oh, did I mention that there are constant sexual innuendos that never stop? See the XXX Not-so Newleywed Game if you'd like to see what kinky stuff your dinner table mates like. If you're the slightest bit prudish or conservative this place is not for you!
It's strange, but we feel like we want to go back. Maybe there were subliminal messages pumped in with the musty smells. I know the review sounds pretty bad, but there was something endearing about this place. Who knows, maybe we'll become members of the Forever Lover's club or as Will Ferrell would say "Luv-ah!"
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Paradise Stream Resort is a couples-only hotel in Pennsylvania's Pocono Mountains that offers all-inclusive packages for romantic getaways. We have on-site activities and are near skiing and shopping. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Paradise Stream Hotel Mount Pocono
- Caesars Paradise Stream Hotel
- Hotel Caesars Paradise Stream