The absolute worst hotel I have ever, ever, ever stayed in!!!! Ever!!!
I was in town for a quick overnight trip, and had to book late, so this was the best hotel I could get on short notice since the US Open was in progress. This place will haunt my dreams forever. For ever ever.
Let's start with the entrance: it was dark and poorly lit. There were dozens of random people just milling about the parking lot at 11pm on a weeknight in the burbs. Bad omen #1.
When I checked in, a woman sitting at the desk had a fresh black eye. The lady checking me in and I just pretended neither of us saw it. Bad omen #2.
Once I got my keys and hiked the stairs (there is no elevator) to my room, I realized I'd made a mistake. Random people were just hanging out in the stairwell. The entire place reeked of smoke. Can you even smoke indoors anywhere, anymore?
I arrive at my room. And wouldn't you know it, the damn door number is laying on the floor, outside the room. Did it occur to anyone to perhaps glue this back up? Apparently not. Bad omen #3.
The room itself looked like something straight out of Section 8 Housing. Stained carpets. A broken door stop. A door latch that had clearly been caulked back on after someone broke it. A nasty stain on the couch. Filthy linoleum on the kitchen and bathroom floors. An HVAC unit with an inch of dust covering it. A bath tub that needed to be recaulked badly. Rusted lamps. Towels that might not have actually been laundered this week. A sprinkler that was probably not operational. A persistent smoky smell. Dim lighting. And the capper: a ring of unine on the toilet and one roll of single ply toilet paper. I've never been to prison, but I'd imagine it to be something close to this bathroom. I didn't use it.
At least the TV was brand new, so there's that.
At this point, I wasn't even thinking about laying in the filthy bed so I started looking for other hotels that might check me in if there was a last minute vacancy at midnight. No luck after an hour. I just went ahead and got in the bed (the linens probably hadn't been changed, and if they were, they definitely hadn't been washed) took some Melatonin to help me drift off quickly, and prayed to God nothing happened to me in my sleep.
Seriously, folks. Don't stay here. I don't care how much this place is discounted (my rate was about $79), just don't do it. If you have dignity and another $20, find someplace safer. If you don't have another $20, beg someone for it and stay somewhere nicer. Or just stay home.
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