let's break it down
do you like to hear the car stereos of other campers thumping to the wee hours...
do you like watching the drunk frat boys come over to the side of your cabin and vomit prolifically after hours of binge drinking shouting and climbing on the roof... (and mind you their cabin was right in front of the office, so you know the owners really try to make it a fun place!)
the rancid odor of a bathroom that hasn't been cleaned in at least a year, and can be smelled from a couple hundred feet away... (really, you could smell it from the river bank)
then brother, the Bird's Nest Lodge is for you
the ambiance of dilapidated cabins, that really should have been torn down, but in a surge of redneck ingenuity they just hammered some new siding up, screwed a new tin roof on, and viola! it's just like new... except the mold, the smell, the crumbling particle board, the cracked foundation...
but hey, that just adds to the experience!
double awnings are in vogue at the Bird's Nest... Hey bob, we put some new tin on the roof of the cabin, and we added an awning... what do you think... What... take the old awning down... naw, we'll just paint it to match the cabin, no one will notice
a 4 person cabin has a concrete slab poured in the middle of the living room and has a mattress thrown on it... and presto, it's a 6 person cabin!
all this for only $90+ dollars a night
things I learned at the Bird's Next Lodge
1. it's historic... says so right there on the sign.
2. good customer service demands that when a patron tells you about the drunken, loud, abnoxious party right next door, you respond "Oh, yeah, they were drunk when they got here...."
3. a refrigerator that has a fan that's not working can be fixed by cleaning the coils with compressed air
4. a cabin can be advertised as having air conditioning, even if the air conditioner doesn't work... I mean, it's not like they advertised it had Functioning Air Conditioning
5. $50 is a magic number at the Bird's Nest Lodge.
6. sometimes, checkout time cannot come soon enough...
The place is a dump, avoid like the plague
- Also Known As:
- Bird`s Nest Lodge And River Hotel Steelville