It looks very pretty from the outside, at a distance. That's the tutu part. But my experience staying in this hotel was anything but aesthetically pleasing (or pleasing in any way, actually).
Overpriced, disappointing, dirty: these are words that come to mind with the Beach Inn Motel.
It started on arrival, which was just before 3:00 p.m. My companion and I were greeted, of sorts, by the sweeping arcs of sprinklers that, although keeping the front lawns beautifully green, also drenched us as we tried to navigate our way, bags in tow, to the entry door. We were then met with the sullen indifference of a desk clerk who ungraciously and grudgingly agreed to "see if our room were ready" because "check-in is not until 3" (perhaps that's when the sprinklers, as a possible deterrent to any pesky prematurely-arriving guests, were to be turned off).
Our room, however, had the musty, airless rank odor of a sweaty sports shoe closet when we reached it, so it's doubtful that anyone had even been in the room to make it possibly "unready."
But, we were tired from our travels and wanted nothing more than to relax on the lakefront beach. Gracing the front of the "Beach Inn" motel, however, was a pile of rocks. The beach, we were informed, was a "short walk up the road" along a bike trail at another, nearby motel. And, though we had been idyllically envisioning a "bike trail" with safe pathways and, perhaps, even some trees for shade, what it turned out to be was a marked slip lane on a major road thoroughfare, which is not particularly the safest place for people to walk.
The greater disappointment, however, was that our destination was a lamentable excuse for a beach. The water was filthy, with dead sea creatures floating in it, accompanied by globs of what looked like expelled mucous and stomach bile after a bout of particularly unpleasant bronchitis. The sand was unpleasantly sticky and, of course, there was no faucet or water outlet to wash down after having the unfortunate experience of coming into contact with it.
Our room was spartan, but in a cheap, tawdry way. The beds were like lying on boards. There was no dresser, no closet, and no mirror in the room. The only mirror was in the musty, rank bathroom, where the air vent not only didn't work properly, but sounded like a Harley Davidson revving its engine when one, fearing the propulsion of possible decapitation, intrepidly dared to attempt to switch it on. The bathmat, when picked up after showering, was filthy on the side that had come into contact with the floor, leaving us to wonder with caustic skepticism, how difficult is it to run a mop over a floor? -- and, moreover, if the bathroom floor were filthy, what weren't we seeing on the carpeting or other areas of the room?
Unbelievably enough, there was not only no iron in the room but, when we made inquiries as to whether we could access one, were told "I don't know." To be fair, one of the motel employees did turn up at our door with an iron in hand, but there was no ironing board or suggestion as to what we might actually use to iron clothing on.
The front door, poorly aligned, had an open crack down one side (undoubtedly unpleasant during the winter) and a small set of clothes-hooks (in the absence of any closet at all) was crookedly placed on the wall, which was further confirmation of the poor quality of appointments and finishing at this establishment.
The continental breakfast was lame, with stale bread, dodgy looking bagels, dreadful coffee, and insufficient seating. There were no hot foods available.
Unforgiveable, however, was the poor service. When I enquired as to whether there was another beach in the vicinity, I was directed to one "up the road," but without any directional guidance to my follow-up questions apart from "I don't know how far; about six minutes by car, maybe." On check-out, we were met at the front desk by what appeared to be casual, flip-flop wearing housekeeping staff who seemed to have no idea about what we actually needed to do to check out. After some moments of frustration, the hotel desk clerk emerged to demand what I wanted. Um, to check out? As fast as possible? "We need your keys," she said. And that was it. (In)hospitality at its finest.
I so wanted there to be at least some redeeming quality about the stay here, and the one thing that may, relatively, constitute such is that the small danishes offered as part of the "continental breakfast" were passably fresh. But, I simply could not recommend this establishment unless better, basic amenities were offered in the rooms (particularly given the room prices being charged) and, critically, that staff receive desperately needed training in the art of hospitality -- particularly the concepts of welcome and warmth, both of which were entirely absent during this stay.