I don't know what to say. First off, Hotels.com apparently tried to keep me out of here. It took a solid 30 minutes to get checked in due to Hotels.com not sending over the fax/forms/post card saying that I had booked two nights here. Sade at the front desk was very patient and helpful through this trying time in my life. Got that done, go to room, Wow.. This place is NASTY! It smelled worse than it looked, thank God. My lungs went into shut down mode almost immediately to prevent my inhaling mold spores the size of my face. Luckily it was a damp 88* in the room which is perfect for growing these giant Rhodesian mold spores. I tried to activate the AC system to cool them off so I could save the mold spores for a University Research laboratory, but as I turned it on I was met with sparks flying out of it and an evil hiss like a Puff Adder was inside it and about to come out. I evacuated the room immediately. Sade understood the problem. She though I was there filming with Steve Irwin so she put me in the room of death. Unfortunately, Steve is already dead, likely from staying in that room, or a sting ray. NEW ROOM!!!!! I lucked out on the new room (#177). It was mold spores the size of my big toes and they were much easier to choke down. Bring lots of water; these mold spores are kinda dry. They do look nice on a fresh salad though. Anyways, the reason I was so lucky to get this room is it's actually a famous movie set! Apparently hundreds of porn movies had been shot in this room. It was evident by the massive amount of lube and goo all over every surface in the room. I could just see Peter North throwing ropes of gel onto the pillow that I was about to lay my head. I was star struck to say the least! There wasn't too much biological matter left though, because my personal gang of cockroaches had been eating on the spunk since the last movie shoot, about 8 hours. I never got to learn all the names of the roaches because there were close to a million of them. Too hard to learn all of those names in two days. So after the first night I asked that the room be cleaned, easy task. That didn't happen. Didn't so much as make my bed! I think the only thing that did happen was they brought Lori Morgan in while I was out and filmed Spunk Fest 9. I swear there was more bio-matter there than when I left it. Good news is the lobby is clean. That's where I slept the second night. They say you eat 100 spiders in your lifetime while sleeping? Try eating 759 roaches in one night in your sleep. I was STUFFED when I woke up!! That is good though because the continental breakfast includes water and sugar. So you can make.. Sugar water! A favorite amongst intergalactic space creatures. Now that I think about it. This place was probably a secret holding cell for space travelers that are being run by the M.I.B. Well played Will Smith.... Well played.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- This hotel is in a fantastic location just 10 minutes from down town Historic Savannah, GA. It is under new ownership and a brand new Ramada Brand and we are currently bringing the standards way up. This is a great property that had been neglected for too long, but as we speak, there are so many great changes that have taken place already and there are many more to come. We have 154 rooms in a full service hotel with over 9,000 sq ft. of conference and convention space (great for weddings too). Lucky's Bar and Grill located on site and offers full catering for all banquets and meetings. Outdoor courtyard with saltwater pool, soon to be brand new fitness center, business center and daily breakfast are just a few of our many amenities. Every day improvements are being made for you. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Savannah Hotel Pooler