If Sir Billy Butlin had ever met Lenin, this landlocked leviathian would have been their love-child.
It's gigantic; the spa could accommodate a pair of whales with room to spare, and the breakfast-room is the size of an aircraft hangar.
It's a fave location with Russians, who apparently love aqua-parks in hotels, so you'll encounter lots of rich and rude show-offs from the USSR. Quirkily, it's also very popular with less well-off and affable Poles, and inevitably in this area of Poland, you'll encounter regiments of Germans.
Unfortunately - for anyone not fluent in those three main languages - it can be a challenge; talking to reception, trying to enter the buffet room or even just buying a beer at the bar.
Inevitably, especially for solo travellers from abroad, the linguistic frustrations are compounded by a sense of isolation in this giant complex.
Admittedly, the rooms are built on the same grand Communist era scale, and I believe each has a balcony, but I found the experience overwhelming.
Maybe if I'd been able to sleep, I'd have considered a four-star rating, but the sound of the poor kid in the next bedroom (seemingly left alone by his parents with whooping cough) and the Euro-trash music coming from the night-club kept me from dreamland until well after midnight.
If you have kids, and want to be in the heart of the lake district, then maybe it's for you, but the size and the language issues still do need to be considered.
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- Also Known As:
- Golebiewski Hotel Mikolajki