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“Horrible.”

Pulperia de los Faroles
Price range: $15 - $35
More restaurant details
Restaurant details
Good for: Families with children, Special occasions, Large groups, Romantic, Local cuisine, Bar scene, Kids
Dining options: Lunch, Dinner, Late Night, Full Bar, Highchairs Available, Outdoor Seating, Reservations, Seating, Serves Alcohol, Waitstaff
London, England, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
39 reviews
27 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 46 helpful votes
“Horrible.”
1 of 5 bubbles Reviewed August 13, 2013

A week on from eating in this wretched dive, my blood still boils when I look at my bank statement. For a little off £60 (that's around $80), my wife and I were given some of the most dreadful food and rudest service in existence, and why we didn't just walk straight out the place without giving them a penny is a decision that will always haunt me.

Where do I start? Well, we arrived in Colonia for a day-trip, and, after walking round for a few hours and swiftly establishing there was little to see or do there of much significance, we ended up deciding to get something to eat. So, into this little restaurant we ventured. It was a warm, muggy day, and I was feeling a bit depressed, realising that as our return boat didn't leave until 8pm, we were stuck in this town for quite some time. I don't wish to digress, and I know some people genuinely appear to take to Colonia's charms, but I found some seriously bad vibes running through the place from the moment we arrived. It's a strange place. If any of you have ever seen that dire seventies horror film, 'Island of Death' (filmed in Greece, I believe), Colonia is very similar. Really.

Anyway, the restaurant looked a bit rundown and old-fashioned (or I suppose what some might call 'quaint') but we decided to give it a chance. So in we went. I ordered a cocktail, and the menu had about a dozen to choose from. I'd get drunk and maybe the time would go by quicker. Anyway, the waitress came over. I chose. They don't have that one, I'm told. Ok. Fine. I choose another. Not that one either. Ok. How about this one? Then, she just waves her hand over the whole page and informs me that, in fact, none of them are available. Great. I glance up at the bar, which looks, to be fair, reasonably well-stocked, and notice a woman sat in front of it who looks somewhat like psychic Sally, the famous British ‘clairvoyant’ who claims she can speak to dead people. Every now and then, we'd hear a strange 'ding!' sound from somewhere – unsure what it was for – and during all this frantic activity, a bird kept coming into the restaurant and flapping about, much to the staff members' annoyance. Although, to be fair, these waitresses already looked pretty angry anyway.

I end up ordering a beer. I gave up trying to figure out what costs what because the prices are all in Uruguayan pesos (makes sense given that we were in Uruguy). We ordered some starters and mains and as we waited, we both 'took in' the drab surroundings and miserable atmosphere. The starters were dull; very 'mum's gone to Iceland' (the Brits will know what I'm talking about here). Nevertheless, we ate them whilst observing the faces of the staff. Each one looked like a slapped backside that had been beaten and flogged on a multitude of occasions, and the repetitive music playing in the background became irritating, in part because it was so repetitive. Later on, after leaving this horrible little dwelling, we'd head off to a nearby café where the same damned soundtrack would be pumping out.

Anyway, the food. I decided to take a photo of the main course in case I needed to describe it to a doctor later on. It was served on a brightly coloured plate (a little like a children's birthday party plate), and it was basically a slab of steak with a sauce on top, and, next to it, 30 or so little balls. On initial inspection, I thought these were cheese puffs, but, upon prodding them with my fork, they transpired to be little potato balls, deep fried. I think. I turned and noticed that pretty much everyone in the restaurant had been served these things. I ate as much as I could and then did a strange thing. I felt uneasy. And a bit weird. So I went out to the back of the toilet and puked the lot up. Really.

I still didn't feel much better but hey, we were leaving, so I had something to smile about. It was when the bill came that I wanted to vomit once more. A few beers and a horrid set of starters and main courses, and this place want £60 off me. Oh my God. I did consider jumping over the counter and physically threatening psychic Sally right there and then - I'm sure she was the manager - telling her that the only thing she was getting paid for was for the beers and perhaps the deep-fried squid, but, I don't think any of them spoke English, so we just ended up paying and leaving.

However, on our way out the door, a family were coming inside. I patted the arm of the man who was enthusiastically leading them inside and shook my head vigorously, repeating 'not good, not good.' He nodded, said 'gracias,' and escorted his little clan back out onto the street again.
This made me feel a little better. Avoid this place. It's horrible.

  • Visited August 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank CalgonTablet
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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1,191 reviews from our community

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Rating summary
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BA
Level Contributor
60 reviews
7 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 25 helpful votes
“Good Dinner!”
5 of 5 bubbles Reviewed July 28, 2013 via mobile

The hotel gave us this recommendationandwe had a lovely dinner a great meal and nice atmosphere! It is a simple restaurant in the middle of the plaza and i bet it must be awesome in summer to sit outside on the street! We had a very good time and the service was great. It was not cheap though...

Visited July 2013
Helpful?
Thank Travel_Maniac08
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Level Contributor
3 reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 1 helpful vote
“Average and nice restaurant”
4 of 5 bubbles Reviewed May 20, 2013

It's a really nice old restaurant, that you can sit at tables on the street. The menu is varied, and service is really good.

Visited May 2013
Helpful?
Thank say_no_more
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Brisbane, Australia
Level Contributor
45 reviews
9 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 35 helpful votes
“Very good”
4 of 5 bubbles Reviewed May 18, 2013

We had a lovely dinner here. The atmosphere is great, with its candles and decoration. Service was good, and the food, although simple, was well served (big portion) - perfect after a day walking around the historic neighborhood.

  • Visited April 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank RobertaWB
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Portland, Oregon
Level Contributor
15 reviews
6 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 8 helpful votes
“So very nice”
5 of 5 bubbles Reviewed April 24, 2013

This is a very nice place on the Plaza Mayor. We enjoyed the view down to the water from the outdoor tables, but the inside is attractive as well. Our steaks were terrific and cooked perfectly. They offer half portions of the steaks(just right for one person), and they are serving all day so we could eat before our ferry sailed. They worked with us to pay in a combination of dollars and Uruguayan money which was nice for us.

  • Visited April 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank pdxsuz
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.

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