I'm not sure I can adequately express just how bad a hotel this is. I tried to make the best of a bad situation, but the Tamani Marina was unforgivingly and unfailingly lousy. Please allow me to expostulate on my utter dissatisfaction.
Yes, this place is in the middle of a construction site. A complex series of u-turns is required to access by car. Pedestrian access is limited, but it turns out this doesn't really matter because there's not really anyplace to walk to. I suppose you could walk to the Dubai Marina, but this seems unwise given the navigational hazards (construction, uneven dirt paths, Dubai drivers).
I was given a room on the third floor, which are lovingly referred to as their "Studios." It seems these rooms aren't even advertised on their website, as they are just so embarrassingly small, poorly furnished, and lacking in any sort of comfort. All for the bargain price of 540 dirhams a night.
The third floor is just under the swimming pools (way smaller than they look on website), and was poorly designed with a drop ceiling, giving the hallways more than a tinge of claustrophobia. In an attempt to mask the Alice in Wonderland sensation of shrinking hallway/growing guest, they've thoughtfully paneled the ceiling with Arabian themed wood cuttings. I thought tacky hotel decor went out in the 70s. But I digress. And since you're under the swimming pool, you get a damp mildew odor for free.
The room was small, enough room to walk around the bed, though not much else. Bed was the equivalent of the American full size - fine for one person but more would have been a tight fit. TV was wall-mounted, but the electrical, cable and wi-fi cables were all exposed. And then the wi-fi router fell off the wall. Very classy. A small kitchenette held a non-working kettle, the world's strangest minibar (2 chocolate bars and 4 soft drinks) in a huge fridge, and a lot of classy wood paneling.
Two major fails: Internet service was included in the price, but for reasons nobody could explain, each room can have only one device connected to the wifi at a time. Most business travelers have multiple devices (smartphone, laptop, tablet) and the inconvenience of having to stop work and follow some complicated procedure to end the internet session was just stupid. Next, there was a single accessible power outlet in the whole room. And it was at chest height near the bed. Seriously? Amusingly odd and utterly inconvenient. I guess they only want you to power one device at a time, too.
Bathroom was tiny and downright nasty. Mold growing on the ceiling, the world's tiniest shower cubicle (sans actual water pressure), a single towel for the room, and a toilet which needed a few flushes to do its job. A button outside the bathroom controlled power for the hot water heater - I don't understand? Why would a hotel guest want to turn it off? I called the front desk to complain about the mold, only to be laughed at and told the hotel was full. I should have left, but honestly, the idea of repacking and plodding back through the construction site was not inspiring either.
The hotel restaurant, Nair and Hail (totally unfortunate wordplay here) was absolutely disgusting. Food was unappealing, and staff made little effort to conceal the fact that all of their breakfast was taken from a package and slapped onto the display table. The room smelled funny (same bathroom mildew smell combined with the smell of restaurants that aren't cleaned often). Despite being one of only 5 guests at breakfast, getting a waiter's attention for a coffee refill required shouting, waiving arms, etc. It all came to a head when a Kazakh family, perhaps attempting to save on lunch costs, packed up a few breakfast items from the buffet. What came next was insane - the waiter started screaming at them, embarrassing them, and ultimately forcing them to pay a ridiculous amount of money, regardless of whether they now took the food or not. Most hotels don't care if you walk off with stale bread and a yogurt. I'm not sure whether there was a language barrier here, but you don't insult a paying hotel guest. This guy should have been fired on the spot.
Upon checkout, I again complained about the mold. The desk clerk's only reply was to giggle and the tell me I had to wait 5 minutes so they could "check the room." At this point I admittedly lost all patience and informed the clerk and her manager that I had no interest of cheating the hotel out of a threadbare towel or a $2 minibar water, and this was the worst hotel I've ever seen. She didn't apologize for my bad stay, didn't ask the nature of my dissatisfaction, just didn't care.
At that point, her manager, lingering nearby, offered me a comment card. If it's not already in their trash can I hope they read and take to heart what I've said. Somehow I doubt they will.
Running a good hotel requires effort to make your customer feel at home. When you deliver a substandard product with apathetic, surly, lazy, disinterested staff, you don't deserve to be in business.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Overlooking the Palm Island, the five star business and leisure hotel has the distinction of being the first Islamic all-suites hotel in Dubai. Located right at the heart of the commercial business hub of Dubai Marina it offers a sought after landmark for stylish meetings, and a sanctuary of relaxing vacation trips.Each of our business hotel 55 storey’s evokes a unique breathe of the Palm and Marina Waters, epitomizing nothing but discrete luxury, make it your perfect choice for hosting successful meetings, business gatherings or enjoying a leisure trip.Our warm, relaxed atmosphere embraces the distinctiveness of Dubai’s local culture. Combined with the variety of services offered, it is easy to create your own unique, memorable experiences.Come and visit Tamani Hotel Marina in the heart of the prestigious modern area of Dubai ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Tamani Hotel Dubai