I had 3 days to spend in Dubai before being able to fly home from Afghanistan. I'd read about all the Islamic rules about not being able to hold hands with your wife in public, or kissing her on the cheek, so the infestation of hookers at the hotel was a bit of a shock. I was feeling ill the first night and couldn't sleep. The thump, thump, thump of the disco on the 1st floor, I was on the 4th, didn't help, but I'm already used to incoming rocket attacks so it wasn't too bad. Anyway, I hadn't had a stiff drink (still didn't since the hotel's drinks were watered-down) for 7 months, so I thought I'd get a drink at the hotel bar (TGIT) on the ground floor. Well before I could get my drink order in, this Asian woman (admittedly pretty) was instantly at my side. I looked and immediately knew why she was there, and it wasn't because of my boyish good looks. I ignored her... with her ample breasts displayed like a Peacock. A venerable sea of wobbly flesh. I received my watery screwdriver and walked around with the hooker sticking to me like a heat-seeking missle. I couldn't shake her. I found a single seat and planted myself there. She just leaned-in with that smile stuck to her face. I said, "Look, I'm not feeling well and just came down for a drink to help me sleep. I don't want any company." She said OK and left. But that wasn't the end of it. Within a minute another hooker, not quite as pretty as the last, came and offered her services. I sent her away, and along comes another! It was like they sent in the A-Team, the B-Team, C-Team, and then they sent the D-Team! This hooker looked straight out of a WWII propaganda cartoon, complete with crazy buck-teeth and coke-bottom glasses! And she was mean! She said, "Bar closed now! Why you come here and not take girl!?" I was mad at this point, I told her I wasn't feeling well, thought I'd have a drink, and "Is that alright with you?!" She said, Oh, you stay this hotel? So sorry."
So the hotel is alright for the money, and very centrally located. The staff is friendly, and the Indian Resturant is very nice. The included breakfast is nice too. They even offered to make me eggs and bacon when they only had Indian food out for breakfast. I recommend staying here if you're on a budget, but stay away from the bar and night club if you don't want a hooker, and bring ear plugs if you're a light sleeper. If you're used to helicopters and C-130s and incoming rocket impacts, you'll be fine.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Only a 2-minute walk from Dubai Creek, Astoria Hotel offers air-conditioned rooms and 4 restaurants. It is within 5 minutes' drive of Bur Juman Mall. Free private parking is available. The rooms at Astoria Hotel are equipped with a work desk and cable TV. Each has a mini-fridge and a private bathroom with a hairdryer. Ironing facilities are provided. Tex Mex cuisine and live entertainment can be enjoyed at the Pancho's Villa restaurant and night club. There is also an Indian eatery and an American-style restaurant with a 3-course menu. Astoria can organise shopping excursions to the local malls and souqs. Desert safaris and creek cruises can also be arranged. Dubai International Airport is 20 minutes' drive away. Bur Dubai is highly rated by guests for: history, hiking, excursions ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Astoria Hotel Dubai