Let's start with our arrival, which was promising. The hallway was beautiful, tiles sparkling, chandeliers twinkling. The surly, but efficient receptionist handed me a box of remotes (four to be exact - one for the flat screen tele, one for the freeview box, one for the DVD player, and one for the climate control air conditioning unit) and explained that they should be handed back in when we checked out. Fabulous! Well not exactly, I'll explain in a minute.
We slid down the highly polished hallway to "Apartment 6", opened the dark teak door and crack!! That was the sound of our high expectations shattering to a million pieces on the sparkly tiles. It was a jail cell. I don't know about you, but I think the word "apartment" implies facilities other than just beds and a bathroom. There was no minibar, fridge, wardrobe, kitchenette - nothing that would justify calling it anything other that an ensuite twin room. That established, I shall continue.
Our "twin apartment" was iddly-widdly-teeny-weeny. Two single beds against opposite walls with just about enough room to walk sideways between. The good news was that the room was really nicely decorated and spotless. But I can not stress how small this "apartment" was. There were the two beds, a chest of drawers and two bedside (which were actually at the heads of the bed - no head boards- due to lack of space) stands. The bathroom was also small, but you can live with that.
So we feel a bit cramped and hard done by, but hey look! There's a 32 inch flat screen way up there on the wall and freeview and a dvd player! We'll suffer through, I thought. But on removing all the remotes from the impressive box it was clear - NONE OF IT WORKED. The TV wouldn't turn on. The Free View wouldn't turn on, The Air Conditioner wouldn't turn on - BUT - the DVD player worked. True, that wasn't much use on its own, but one out of four ain't bad. Yeah, Right. When I went back to see surley receptionist she told me that none of it worked and that she would send someone up to look at it for us. Result - we thought.
Anyway, we were right smack bang in the Old Town in Krakow so we didn't annoy ourselves with
the lack of entertainment facilities. Afterall, it was just somewhere to lay our heads after a long day sightseeing and sampling the local delicacys (vodka!). So a good night's sleep was all we were counting on. NO CHANCE. The walls are PAPER THIN and we were woken several times every night when people were returning to their rooms hiccuping and singing (as we did ourselves). Then when everyone was nursing the morning's blossoming hangovers - the cleaning staff started drumming practice. At least I think that's what they were doing. Am almost certain that none of them will ever make a career out of it though. They really weren't very good at it. They must have done a bit of cleaning while they were at it though because the highly polished tiles were always glistening when they had finished band practice.
Surly Receptionist was replaced by Even More Surly Receptionist. Who told us that Original Surly Receptionist should have told us that the TV and freeview hadn't worked in months. So why did she bother trusting us with the box of remotes? Was she daring us to still the batteries and create an international incident? I have my doubts.
So the band practised every morning (no improvement detected), other guests sang, burped and hiccuped into bed every evening and the tele never did get fixed.
Oh and one last thing... the pillows! They were square. I have never seen a square pillow before and by the grace of God I hope I never see another one again.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- In the heart of Krakow, just 50 metres from the beautiful Main Market Square, Pergamin Apartments offer stylish, air-conditioned apartments with free Wi-Fi, DVD player, a refrigerator and a minibar.Each of the apartments is decorated with strong colours and modern furnishings. Every apartment is also appointed with private bathroom facilities and satellite TV.Every morning a varied homemade breakfast is served in the comfort of guests' room. Guests can enjoy discounts at the Pergamin's popular bar as well as entrance to its vibrant night club.The hotel's English-speaking staff can arrange tours of the city or arrange airport shuttle. Guests have access to the computer in the main hall or enjoy spending time in the summer garden.The Pergamin Apartments are located just 220 metres from the Planty Park and just a 15-minute walk of the famous Wawel Royal Palace. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Pergamin Apartments Hotel Krakow