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“Great modern hotel”
Review of The Vine Hotel

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The Vine Hotel
Ranked #18 of 86 Hotels in Funchal
Certificate of Excellence
Bromley, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
9 reviews
6 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 12 helpful votes
“Great modern hotel”
Reviewed November 18, 2012

Wonderful surprise: The hotel is above a shopping centre, don't let this put you off. It is the centre of Funchal. The building is modern and when you arrive in reception you are welcomed and the staff are friendly and helpful. The room was fantastic with every modern facility, electric blinds and curtains great fun, clean and comfortable. The bathroom area is a pebble floor, fine with the slippers that they provide and I never found the shower floor a problem, you won't slip over....
The swimming pool is on the terrace with fantastic views across Funchal. The spa is wonderful. I do not have a bad word to say.
I was on a Mon to Fri break with a girlfriend and we did B&B as we wanted to experience food in the city. Breakfast was great with a lot of choice.
Funchal is a wonderful place to visit. Would not recommend this hotel for family's or young children, this is definitely a grown up hotel.

Room Tip: we were on the fourth floor with twin beds, balcony over looking the street, and sea. Was perfect.
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  • Stayed November 2012, traveled with friends
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
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    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
Thank Bailey1967
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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Thornton Cleveleys, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
86 reviews
26 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 61 helpful votes
Reviewed November 11, 2012

Nice hotel in great location, right in centre of Funchal within easy walking distance of old town and Marina. Lovely rooftop terrace, pool nice for a couple of lengths but not for swimming, jacuzzi lovely when staff remember to switch it on. When open rooftop bar lovely but during our week there it was usually closed. Lounge area has no atmosphere and whilst the breakfasts are great the Dinner is a real disappointment, self service and fairly non description food. A bottle of water and wine will cost you about €29 with dinner. After first couple of nights we ate out even though we were half board.

Bedrooms lovely and complementary mini bar is a nice touch. Beds very comfy and there s a good choice of pillows. Good wardrobe space but 1 drawers. Pebble floor in bathroom area and in shower an get a little sore on the feet. Spa area is lovely, lots of towels and nice area to relax ..... However staff seem to disappear, they're not very prominent anywhere..... Housekeeping staff are the main staff available. All staff are very helpful and pleasant when you see them, however you could be on the roof terrace for hours and never see one.

Lovely place but more gloss than substance

  • Stayed November 2012, traveled with friends
    • Value
    • Location
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Helpful?
2 Thank Merle D
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Derby, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
20 reviews
19 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 20 helpful votes
Reviewed November 7, 2012

Having stayed at this hotel for a 5 day break to celebrate a friends milestone birthday I can only report that out party were extremely impressed. The hotel, suites, food and staff were excellent. The staff made every effort to make our stay enjoyable and on the evening of the birthday we dined in the UVA restaurant and were treated like VIP's. The food was beautifully served and the stafff very attentive. We had discussed our requirments in advance and the staff had suggested wines to match the courses which was superb. The breakfasts at the Vine are extensive and cooked to order and are a very relaxing affair. The rooms are a delight, if I had any criticism it would be to deal with the showers that leak onto the bedroom floor which resulted in using towels to mop the floor and an illuminated make up mirror as the lighting in the rooms is very subdued. Overall a fabulous holiday. Thank you to all staff at the Vine we will return.

Room Tip: upgrade to a suite room 308 has two windoes one looking to the marina and a picture windo overlookin...
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  • Stayed October 2012, traveled with friends
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Helpful?
Thank 187048Julie
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Al Khobar, Saudi Arabia
Level Contributor
12 reviews
4 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 20 helpful votes
Reviewed October 30, 2012

Instead of searching Funchal again for the lady who did amazing reflexology for me out of a shop front my first week, I decided on my 2nd to last day to treat myself to a few treatments at a spa to reduce some neck pain from a bad hotel bed (not The Vine), and foot pain from extreme amounts of walking/hiking.

I wish I'd sought out the reflexology lady.

First of all, what I asked for on the phone was confusing to the receptionist because apparently the website doesn't match their current prices/time limits/treatments. Secondly, when I arrived the hyperactive overly bouncy receptionist (who had to book treatments by hand in triplicate in multiple paper schedules?!) was just...calm down, lady. Just...breathe...chill.

I scheduled a 30 minute upper body massage for 50 euros (it ended up being 65?!), a 20 minute scalp massage for 45 euros (ended up being 50?) and a 60 minute Spa Foot Ritual for 50 euros (that ended up being either 75 minutes + more money..or 75 euros...I can't remember which) Either way it was completely different from the website. I'm basing this off my memory of reading the menu of treatments after I arrived and being shocked at the discrepancy.

Anyway, the facility is nice albeit very compact. The robes (like many spas) were JUST small enough to expose everything from the crotch down unless standing straight up. More than one employee found it mockingly amusing that I wanted to cover my lap with a towel when sitting, which bothered me. (fyi spa employees: It's the customers comfort that's relevant, in a spa, not yours) Also I found it shocking to be told to undress and lie down by a therapist who stood and watched me instead of making even a token effort to turn aside or leave the room. I'm not prude, I like being naked, but on my own terms. (Spa employees: err on the side of customer modesty, and go from there based on our signals).

I've never been to a spa where every therapist was considered an expert at every treatment and could do them all. I was quite surprised to have the same therapist for all 3 treatments (frankly I hoped for a change after the first).

That being said, the therapist I was scheduled with was lovely, sweet and well meaning. Some day when she's able to specialize, she will make one amazing aesthetician, as her touch was delicate. Unfortunately her touch was delicate to a fault in the area of massage. I'm accustomed to therapeutic massage and/or unskilled swedish, and either way the force used at the vine was 1/20th of the lightest massage I've ever had. It was essentially stroking of oil over the skin. Keep in mind I have a LOW threshold for pain, and don't like rough massage. But the very few times she STARTED to exert the beginnings of what could be comfortable pressure it lasted seconds and then stopped. Halfway through I was wishing I hadn't wasted money at this spa.

The scalp massage was essentially the same and amounted to having my hair stroked for 20 minutes. I am not kidding. There was a teeny tiny bit of forehead pressure, and temple rubbing (like, 10 seconds 3 times) and then....hair stroke. Not a good, comfortable, scalp massage (which can be heaven if done even partially well).

The Spa Foot Ritual was the worst. What a waste of money. I thought it was a decent scrub and rub, with maybe a moisture mask followed by a pedi, all of which can be done easily in 60-75 minutes. I was taken to a room to sit upright in an arm chair, while the poor therapist had to crouch/stoop on a stool bending and lifting bowls of water from the floor and holding the weight of my not inconsiderably heavy legs. I was uncomfortable, and her back had to have been killing her. When the treatment STARTED with nail filing, I just knew that my hour+ "foot ritual" was going to be a very expensive and very basic pedicure, only. There was zero(discernible)massage, a salt scrub and then a moisture mask and hot towel wrap while the other foot was worked on. Sadly, it didn't even feel good. It felt like work, on my part.

I don't like this to sound like an indictment of the therapist, because I truly enjoyed her personally, but NO SPA should dare to charge these kinds of prices and sent customers in with a single therapist for multiple treatments without vetting the treatments and the quality of the treatments strictly for standards. This therapist is an asset to the spa, but not as a massage therapist (at least not without further training), and not without significant reworking of the content of the treatment menu and expectations for each treatment.

I'm so disappointed at the money I threw away for what amounted to nice conversation, and prettily painted toes...that's it. No other benefit, and big loss of cash.

  • Stayed October 2012, traveled solo
    • Value
    • Location
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Helpful?
8 Thank A I
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
London
Level Contributor
7 reviews
4 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 7 helpful votes
Reviewed October 28, 2012

The hotel was great, very comfortable and very stylish... The room was fabulous, who doesn't love a black out shutter on the window, the egyptian cotton sheets changed daily made the bed super comfy.. The breakfast buffet was perfect and running until 10.30am a nice choice for lazy mornings.. the spa was a great option for a rainy afternoon and the pool terrace nice to relax in the sun.. The staff were friendly and on hand to help at all times... The location was perfect with a short 5min walk into the old tow area for bar & restaurants and down to the marina.. Would definitely recommend to those wanting a quite week of good food, drink and R&R..

  • Stayed October 2012, traveled as a couple
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
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    • Cleanliness
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Helpful?
4 Thank Kirstymt
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
London, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
65 reviews
22 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 41 helpful votes
Reviewed October 26, 2012

Brilliant week of relaxation!
Traveled with Atlantis holidays, what an amazing lady they had at gatwick, so helpful, especially as I forgot my husbands passport, had to send a friend to get it, and the rep was fantastic, managed to get them to open the gate for us and get us on the flight! Thank you so much.
Arrived in Funchal met at the airport and delivered to the hotel, which is in the most unexpected place.
On top of a shopping center with amazing views sits the very modern Vine Hotel. Subdued lighting throughout, great innovations everywhere, though the wardrobe handle are nail breakers!
Its a shame that the pool and roof terrace are not opened early, so not possible to have my morning swim, had to wait till after 10am. Food delicious, staff charming.
Delightful place that I would recommend, but not if you are shy as the bath is in the bedroom!

  • Stayed October 2012, traveled as a couple
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
1 Thank KAMERM
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Essex
Level Contributor
45 reviews
11 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 40 helpful votes
Reviewed October 15, 2012

We spent a week in this hotel, the staff were lovely, the bar was relaxed with happy hour 6pm-7pm (half price cocktails), breakfasts were good, but get down before 8.30 if you want to sit outside. The pool was lovely, we thought we might struggle to get us beds, but there were always some free.
My only problem was the room... We figured out the lights easy enough, but if you got out of bed in the night, the under bed light would come on, waking up the other half. There was no shaver socket and the hair dryer was difficult to use as the cord would only stretch that far (I'm not tall but I think you need to be about 5ft for this to be comfortable). The sink was nice to look at, by not great to use and the shower would soak the floor in the toilet. But my main gripe was that there was nowhere to put wet clothes (bikini, swim shorts etc). All this said, I would recommend the hotel for a long weekend, but a week was a smidge too long.
Just remembered the blackout blind; awesome! It would've been pitch black, had it not been for the glowing LEDs in the light control units.

Room Tip: Don't select Atrium view, this looks out over the roof of the shopping centre below and across t...
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  • Stayed October 2012, traveled as a couple
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
7 Thank Xbox_widow
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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Additional Information about The Vine Hotel

Property: The Vine Hotel
Address: Rua Aranhas 27 A, Funchal, Madeira 9000-044, Portugal
Location: Portugal > Madeira Islands > Madeira > Funchal
Amenities:
Bar / Lounge Business Center with Internet Access Fitness Center with Gym / Workout Room Free Breakfast Free High Speed Internet ( WiFi ) Free Parking Restaurant Room Service Shuttle Bus service Spa Suites Swimming Pool Wheelchair access
Hotel Style:
#2 Business Hotel in Funchal
#8 Family Hotel in Funchal
#14 Spa Hotel in Funchal
#15 Romantic Hotel in Funchal
#18 Luxury Hotel in Funchal
Price Range (Based on Average Rates): $$
Hotel Class:5 star — The Vine Hotel 5*
Number of rooms: 79
Official Description (provided by the hotel):
A hotel with soul, just like a good wine. The Vine is sophisticated and luxurious. With a touch of simplicity and discretion, just the way you like it. A dip in the panoramic pool, a vino-therapy session in the spa or a gourmet dinner with a view over the city: these are just a few of the pleasures awaiting you at The Vine. ... more   less 
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Also Known As:
The Vine, a Divine Hotel Hotel Funchal
Vine a Divine Funchal
The Vine Hotel Madeira/Funchal

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