First, let me start out by saying that it's a shame that TripAdvisor's scale runs from 1 to 5, because this wouldn't even rate a zero.
So why's it so bad? Pull up a chair--this make take some time. Right, are we sitting comfortably? OK--let me begin.
1) Fraud. It calls itself a bed and breakfast, yet offers no breakfast. In fact, the photographs they have used on websites that they have signed up to bear absolutely no resemblance to the premises whatsoever.
2) Filth. The room that I was shown had a dirty bare wooden floor; on that floor were two dirty, battered mattresses, each equipped with a rather grubby sheet. There was evidence of mice about as well. I have kept mice and know what their droppings look like, and, although I am not scared of them, I am in no overriding hurry to meet new murine friends to share my holiday with.
3) Fire Hazard - No evidence of fire extinguishers or any other preventative equipment. Coupled with the fact that the whole premises is accessed by a steep, wooden staircase, leads me to concluded that the place is an utter fire trap.
4) No reception - This means that you are forced to arrive and check out at predetermined times. On the other hand this does mean that you don't have to spend any time with the...
5) Rude staff/owners of the hotel - We had the misfortune to turn up early, having been awake for 36 hours to get to Amsterdam. We were left hanging around while the person who let us in seemed to haggle with the owner on the other end of the phone as to whether we should actually be let in or not--into a room for which we were about to pay EURO 700. My partner and I are gay, which at first led me to think that this was homophobic treatment, but having researched further since our misadventure, I now realise they are rude to everyone; other websites feature reviews from Latinos who think that they hate them. Please don't worry my Hispanic friends--they just hate EVERYONE! It looked like the sort of place where you take a prostitute somewhere for an hour (no-it looked worse than that! The bed looked less comfortable...) and I thought that may be the reason for the reception that wasn't so much frosty as downright artic; it made me feel VERY uncomfortable and somewhat sullied to say the least.
6) Exhorbitant prices and ridiculous terms of payment - They demanded FULL PAYMENT - UP FRONT -- P L U S -- a 50 Euro deposit. Why, for heavens sake, are you asking for a deposit, when you are paying UP FRONT!! You already have all my money! Plus, coupled with the fact that you have no reception, means that, unless you are prepared to get up and get to the aforementioned dump by 5.30am, when I need to check out on my final day, I will not get it back.
There's no towels or furniture, nor curtains, nor reading lamp. Just a whole load of filth and attitude. Apparently the British don't know how to complain but if you come here you will get the hang of it quickly enough, believe me! After having a 'discussion' with the owner on the mobile of the person who let me in, she was left in no doubt of my opinion of the place. To be utterly fair, I didn't get to look at the bathroom, which all other sources lead me to believe is shared between at least six other rooms, but if it was half as bad as some of the other reviews I have since seen and as bad as the bedroom I DID see, you would be lucky if you didn't run the risk of a bout of cholera. We run as fast as possible away from this place without parting with any cash before I had the misfortune of staying there a second longer.
I can't think of any other way of putting it without swearing but NEVER GO TO THIS HOLE. Snorkling in Amsterdam's sewage outlet would be preferable to staying here.
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