We booked in for a Saturday night stay in July 2013 on a package that gave us an evening meal and a spa treatment each. The visit was a romantic weekend away.
It's worth noting that we'd booked the Malmaison purely off the back of a particular meal that they offered - as this was important we checked twice prior to the arrival date the the meal would be available.
Check-in was fine, we had a room on the fifth floor that overlooked the street. The room was a fair size (would have expected more as we'd paid for a bigger room) with a large bathroom. The decor was dated, and the bathroom has several areas that were dirty. The TV was tiny, and there was a DVD player (but no indication on if you could hire DVDs).
The spa downstairs was small, but fine. We'd opted for joint massages, which were perfectly pleasant.
There were parts of the hotel that felt unloved, and you can tell it could do with a refit. I was genuinely suprised at how dirty elements of it were, I know times are hard and margins aren't what they used to be but it could really do with some work.
The meal was the worst part of the trip - we were told that the meal we wanted was not available (queried this with a member of staff, we named the other staffer who had confirmed the meal would be available but were told that "menus change"). Ordered a fillet steak which came medium-rare in the middle (asked for well done). I pointed this out and the waitress said "Let's see if we can make things better with a desert". If you read this as "Have a desert on us due to our mistake" then you'll have made the same mistake that I did! My desert was fine, my girlfriends was wrong. In the end I asked them to remove the service charge from the bill, so we ended up paying £77 for a meal that was - IMHO - pretty sub-standard.
On check-out I wanted to make sure the service charge was removed from the restaurant bill prior to us paying, but they couldn't find the receipt. I was told they'd send me a copy via email that day, rang two days later and was told that the restaurant manager wasn't in, they'd email it today, etc etc.
I stayed in the Mal on business three years previously and wasn't particularly impressed, and this stay did nothing to make me think any different. There are lots of hotels out there that are real "boutique" hotels that manage to get most things right, and for >£250 this was a waste of our money.