Booked an overnight stay online based on the main advert for Elmbank Hotel & Lodge. Unfortunately it didn't state whether we would be in the Hotel or THE LODGE. Duly arrived at said hotel which from the outside, needs a serious makeover.....Went to Reception and were informed that we were in THE LODGE (across the road by the way) and were charged up front the princely sum of £84, this did not include breakfast which was an extra £8.50!!!!! On entering the lodge, it smelled as old as it was and God only knows when the last time a cleaner actually went in there and wiped the staircase down.
On opening the door to our room, I was shocked at the size of it......tiny as hell. Good job I hadn't brought the cat as he would have been disappointed....he does like to swing. The room appeared to be a converted cupboard that they had somehow squeezed a bed and bathroom into. At first I thought there was a window open but quickly realised that there wasn't....the frame was so old (original) that it didn't fit and I could actually see the road outside through the frame. Last decorated in 1970 it seems and the thinnest of walls.....swear blind I heard a mouse cough in the room next door. Very thin tired old mattress and the bed didn't even have a headboard, just pillows propped up against the wall. The drinking glasses were filthy and had to be washed before use.
No surprise when I tell you it was tiny. I could actually sit on the loo AND wash my hands at the same time....although to some, this may be a feature, it was not to me.
Squeezed into the corner with a 9" step up to get into it..I kid you not. The shower head was obviously not the original and as such did not fit the retaining clip......and so duly fell off and hit me on the head 3 times ( and my missus twice). The towels had been laundered but had red stains on them....looked like old nail polish.
So now I understand why they took payment instantly.....I would have walked straight back out of the door and went elsewhere had they not!!!!
So, if after reading this and you still want to book the Elmbank, please ask them to specify if you will be in the main hotel or the quite disgusting Lodge
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