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“Well...”
Review of L'Artiste Muscle

L'Artiste Muscle
Ranked #4,785 of 22,564 Restaurants in London
Price range: $69 - $69
Cuisines: French, European
More restaurant details
Restaurant details
Good for: Romantic
Dining options: Lunch, Dinner, Outdoor Seating, Reservations, Seating, Serves Alcohol, Waitstaff
Neighborhood: Mayfair
London, England, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
13 reviews
9 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 17 helpful votes
“Well...”
Reviewed September 10, 2013

I was here on Saturday 7th Sept, 2013.

First impression, it was small, too small. I understand there is a downstairs area, which I didn't seem but I can't imagine it being much bigger than the upstairs area, as I doubt the kitchen could handle any bigger. We were a party of five and seated at the furthest left corner from the door, as I mentioned it was small and the party sat next to us, might as well have been seated with us. The party next to us left after a short while, two separate parties joined and were sat even closer, leaving the people on the inside of the table barely enough room to get past the two tables. This made me feel quite uncomfortable, as I am a fond lover of my personal space and in here I felt close and restricted. Another result of the limited space was that whenever food was being delivered to our table (or plates being removed), the Waitress had to lean over myself, or the other diners and often resulting in prolonged (and unwanted) physical contact. Again, due to favoring personal space, this left me feeling uncomfortable and put a real downer on the atmosphere.

Another strain on the atmosphere, was the Music. It started off as quaint, French music, but I guess the C.D. jammed as there was a clear audio problem. Different Music was put on, but this was run of the mill Music that was currently floating around in the charts. The same tracks, roughly five to seven songs were in a loop. The Waitress had to be told twice of that fact before something was done about. Music being a key part of my life, something like this is extremely easy for me to notice and become a quick annoyance.

The menu did not offer much of a selection and what it did offer, I felt, did not cater for a simple pallet. Without sounding horrendously belligerent, I felt that I wasn't sophisticated enough to enjoy the food. This was possibly down to the French dish names (yes, I am fully aware that I was sat in a French restaurant) and the vague descriptions of the dish, it almost felt like you were just expect to 'know' what the dish was. I decided not to go for a starter, due to not liking any of the options available to me. For the main, I decided to go for the Steak, with a side of Pomme Frites. The Steak cut was very good quality, cooked a little more than medium-rare, but it was succulent, juicy and hardly any gristle, a little extra seasoning wouldn't have gone amiss though. I was disappointed to learn that when I ordered Steak, with a side of chips (minus the sauce), that was all I would get, it needed more to justify a £15 charge for an 8oz Steak and chips. To accompany my meal I decided to have a beer, whilst the party had wine. The options were either small Kronenbourg (by small, roughly 230ml), at £3.20 or a small Stella Artois, for £3.50. not exactly the best beer options, slim pickings and over priced.

Personally, I did not enjoy this place and I can't foresee myself ever returning. The other four members of the party however, couldn't get enough and enjoyed themselves thoroughly. Like me, they were uncomfortable due to the lack of space and the Music issue.

I feel that the price to portion ratio was a little off and that the venue was too small and uncomfortable to really be charging those sort of prices, regardless of its location.

The meal came to £190~

  • Visited September 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank Scott M
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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125 reviews from our community

Visitor rating
    41
    50
    14
    7
    13
Rating summary
    Food
    Service
    Value
    Atmosphere
Date | Rating
  • English first
  • French first
  • Italian first
  • Spanish first
  • Swedish first
  • Any
English first
London, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
11 reviews
11 restaurant reviews
“Lovely food!!!!”
Reviewed September 7, 2013

Lovely food and friendly atmosphere, I usually enjoy my mussels on regular basis, would definitely recommend!!!

Visited September 2013
Helpful?
Thank Cynthia I
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Melbourne, Australia
Level Contributor
73 reviews
25 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 42 helpful votes
“Old Favourite”
Reviewed September 6, 2013

A tiny corner of Paris in this charming corner of London. It's affordable and captures all the atmosphere of Shepherd Market. A Mayfair stalwart, it never changes or disappoints.

Visited July 2013
Helpful?
Thank MA J
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Chipping Ongar, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
437 reviews
257 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 242 helpful votes
“Le joker !”
Reviewed September 2, 2013

Never got to eat in here !
Arrived at 4pm on a Saturday, all of Shepherds Market buzzing and restaurants open ,some quite full.

L'Artiste looks rustic and quaint but on enquiring if I could have a glass of wine and an omlette was told ...

" We only do FRENCH food in here ............. you can have wine but anyway the kitchen is shut !"


So there !!
And I love France !

  • Visited August 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank Worldtraveller1953
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Level Contributor
47 reviews
43 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 21 helpful votes
“Does very little. Does that badly.”
Reviewed July 22, 2013 via mobile

Aesthetically this place looks great. Lovely little wine bar to watch the people stroll on by. Drinks menu is disappointing to say the least - 1 lager and that's Stella unfortunately. Coke or diet coke is the only soft drink. It's a wine bar you think, so this is where they SHOULD excel... a few reds to choose from... a few whites... one rose. Maybe it's quality not quantity? We had two different wines and both were exceptionally poor... bargain basement stuff. If you only offer a few things you should do them brilliantly. Not here. Service was arrogant too which is unusual for a place with wine that makes lambrini look like a quality drink. 12.5 percent service charge was the salt in the wound. Awful. Awful. Awful. London has plenty of nice bars, outdoor drinking places and quality pubs; opt for one of these instead. If you see any of my other reviews you'll see I'm generally positive and give high ratings. For me to give a 1...

  • Visited July 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Helpful?
Thank nicknotts1980
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.

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