If you look up the word Shed in a thesaurus, you get cabin, chalet, lean-to, shack and then caboose, home and lodge. The Shed, in Event Square on the Falmouth waterfront is next to their ‘sister’ restaurant, The Shack. It’s all tottering on the brink of drowning in it’s own trendiness. You can be too trendy. So trendy that it becomes a uniform. The ladies have to have a perfectly even tan and the men have to have perfect stubble and perfectly ruffled hair. It’s androgynous. Waiting at the bar to order, looking around, I could swear that everyone was having pretty much the same conversation and sharing the same joke. Do you remember ‘The Prisoner’?
This is in the favour of The Shed, though, because it means they have established a style where a certain type can hang out in the herd. Stripes against a stripy background. Comfort among you own. But don’t get me wrong; it’s very nice. It’s very nice to pop along there after work, before going on somewhere, and having a light meal and drinks, outside in the very nice, very trendy square. What’s the word? EuroMed. That’s the word – EuroMed. It reminds me of London, Paris, Tel Aviv and Athens – at the same time.
It’s very nice. We go there.
The food is nice. Fresh salad and veg. Succulent and tasty meat. Friendly, attractive, intelligent staff. Clean. Lovely view.
I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong, down there and at last it’s dawned on me . . . there is no atmosphere. Not a trace. Because the whole environment is so EuroMed and nice and perfect, there’s nothing to arouse the senses. If this was a zoo enclosure, they’d get done for lack of stimulation. HM prisons have (I believe) to provide a reasonable level of intellectual and emotional stimulation.
I don’t want stupid jugglers and crap local bands. I want to be able to sit there alone or in company, in peace. What the place needs is music. Appropriate music. BE VERY BAREFUL. This could go horribly wrong and I’d prefer the place to stay a bit beige rather than ruin it with half-witted-pseudo-arty-dribble.
But, the right music would make this absolutely the most perfect place.
Here’s how it will work. They audition for the best ‘busker’ type performers. Acoustic, traditional music in EuroMed styles, Arabic, French, Greek, Italian. These performers play outside and are paid by a tariff added to the restaurant prices. A tip, if you will. I’d want them all of the time, though. I want to pop down there on my way somewhere and be guaranteed a bit of atmosphere. Sorted.
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