Trip October 15th 2013 departure out of the marina at about 930am returning to the marina at 430pm.
This was the absolute worst "cruise" I have ever been on. Only thing good about the crew was the photographer with a hat that said "Homie" on it. He was friendly and knowledgeable and surprisingly not affiliated with the company at all...
"Antonio Banderas"-have no idea what hos real name was- was an absolutely terrible guide/host. He yelled at the passengers "Vamanos!" Every chance he got and corralled us like cattle at the dock and while snorkeling.
The food was awful, some mass plated pineapple that was rotten with papaya and watermelon, small cups of yogurt and orange juice that was actually watered down tang.
During our boat ride to the island, Antonio screamed into the mic constantly, the speakers were positioned so they faced the passengers, and it was LOUD. So loud that I had to plug my ears, and I got a nasty headache. The music was also LOUD and obnoxious, they couldn't figure out if they wanted to play Bob Marley or some rendition of 70's and 80's cover bands or Mexican music. It was bad. I was happy that the top deck was empty so I took solace up there for most of the trip (with the smokers). Antonio mostly spoke Spanish, hardly ever acknowledging the American or English speaking passengers, and when he did address us it was a brief rush over of what he said in Spanish. And he talked CONSTANTLY. I wish he would have just kept quiet. I prayed he would not talk. I was not granted that wish. He loved hearing himself talk and fancied himself funny, and was not, at all. In fact the opposite, seriously the most annoying person I have ever encountered.
Once we got to the island to snorkel, again we were herded about like livestock and told to "HURYY up and get your gear on, not a lot of time!!!" So we all lined up in our snorkel gear and jumped off the boat into the very choppy water. He yelled at us all "Vamanos!" about a hundred times like we were a bunch of children who needed to be scolded. He rudely directed us to where we were to snorkel and for how long, this was not a leisurely event as we were led to believe. And we were forced to wear cumbersome life vests while snorkeling, I am experienced and a strong swimmer and I resented being told I had to wear a vest, this prevented me from being able to dive down to get better views of the fish, which were scarce by the way. The current was very strong and the we bobbed around at the mercy of the tide, which was high. There is no reef protecting the waves so it was very difficult staying in one place. And there is no beach to rest on, you are surrounded by the island which is rock.
Then we were all yelled at to hurry up (vamanos) to swim to the cave, I opted out by this time, I was miserable, there were sooo many people and everywhere you turned you were running into someones flipper, I have never felt so cramped and irritated snorkeling before. There were so many inexperienced swimmers and snorkelers it was amazing, this is NOT the place for beginners, in fact I am gonna go so far to say this in NOT a good place to snorkel, it's too rough.
So rough in fact that one passenger got thrown to the rock by a wave and her husband who went to rescue her got the brunt of the rocks as well. There was screaming and commotion and then the dingy motored on to rescue the injured. Once on board assessed injuries, a few scrapes and scratches, nothing serious, but when you are in water that rough, it can be very scary, I felt for the injured party as their experience was over for the day. Well we only had an hour at this location, then we loaded up and went to the other location for another hour where there was a private beach. Same situation as above, so I stayed behind. The crew could not find the buoy so the boat was on the whole time and I was rewarded with fumes the entire time. There was not 3 hours of snorkeling like promised, but 2, another misnomer. My husband said that Antonio was plucking the animals from the ocean and allowing the snorkelers to handle them while taking pictures, delicate sea anemone and starfish were being ripped from their PROTECTED habitat to be ogled and fondled by an OBNOXIOUS guide. I was furious. There was also trash everywhere on the ocean floor from dirty tourists dropping their garbage. For a protected habitat it was treated like garbage, and I will never again go on a tour like this again. The parts of the coral that were there was dead and the color was dull. All the native birds were subjected to fumes of the boats, noise from the tourists and the garbage left behind. Just terrible that people are destroying our beautiful wildlife.
Anyways...there was still no food or drink yet and we were all getting very hungry. So they served cucumbers, carrots and jicama in water glasses.
Finally it was time to set off and lunch was prepared, we had to give tickets for our plates, which was lukewarm chicken, salad items no dressing and warm macaroni salad with ham. We were hungry so we ate, but it was far from good. The we discovered that people (hispanic) without tickets were getting food as well, so now we felt like we got burned. The soda was flat and had no variety. Total garbage.
The music was so loud I had to ask to have it turned down. Antonio was so loud that when I heard his voice I cringed. I couldn't wait for this day to be over. They did really bad karaoke and surprise surprise Antonio was the only one who sang, my god he sucked. Then the crew did some dance contest and then some really bad performance by the crew at the end.
The most surprising part was when the bartender came by with a big bottle, shaking it's empty contents and asking for tips. I couldn't believe it. I didn't have a single drink and I was disgusted by this display. It was rude and unnecessary, especially since I considered them undeserving of a tip after that joke of a day, however they put you on the spot and you feel like an [--] for not contributing, so we put 20 pesos in jar, still too much as far as I'm concerned.
After we got off the boat I never looked back, I was so thankful to be off and heading back to the hotel.
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