Don’t be mislead by the title – after extensive research The Tuscany reviews were about as reliable as your Mother-In-Law showing up every Christmas.
My family of 4 rented a 3 bedroom (W302) and Shawnemae was more than helpful with the many annoying questions I had before we arrived.
However, I didn’t ask ENOUGH questions because I’m not as OCD as I’d like to be, so I’m here to share those with you.
1) Mistake #1– Flying into Miami you MUST leave enough time to transfer planes. If you’re on different airlines, bring a razor and a curling iron for the Mrs. That’s how long it will take to get to your connection. We were on AA and the distance between the flight from L.A. to T&C was a like a pilates workout. Up and down stairs and a tram ride away and we became those people you hate that hold up an entire plane.
WORSE was coming back. Like a Tim Burton nightmare. There’s ALWAYS weather in T&C and Miami and I made the GRAND mistake of not allowing enough time between the flight FROM T&C to Miami and then back to L.A. – Guess what happened? There was weather which delayed our flight out of T&C by an hour.
You have to go through CUSTOMS. Between the long walk, the long line at Immigration AND having to grab your bags at baggage claim (nope, it doesn’t go all the way through, folks!) THEN getting on another long line to make your connection and going through security AGAIN (and you know you’ll be “randomly selected” for a “pat down”), it’s at LEAST a 2 hour haul. We missed TWO connections and had to spend the night in a Miami hotel.
2) Mistake #2 - I wanted a rental car (I like to explore and did… Sapodilla and Taylor Bay’s, Da Conch Shack, some road straight out of a “Texas Chainsaw” movie) and rather than go through Avis, I asked Shawnemae to rent me one. Cost $464.00 for the week.
What I got was an Aveo that had 68,000 miles on it. How the heck do you rack up 68,000 miles on an island that’s only 17 miles long? At least the tires had tread, air conditioning and didn’t smell like conch. I’m pretty easy going but for those with higher standards...
3) Mistake #3 - We arrived on the late flight and stopped at the local grocery store to stock up on food. We arrived at Tuscany at 8:00pm. We sat at the gate for 15 minutes as the phone rang as long as church bells at the Sistine Chapel. Finally, I hopped over the bushes (yes, hopped), down the driveway, to the front desk (nobody there and the office had a CLOSED sign on it) – Finally Terria popped out of the office. She had been waiting for us – Okay, so she got the unlucky task of hanging out for snooty L.A. guests on a Sunday night instead of at home watching “60 minutes” The office closes at FIVE, so thanks for waiting, Terria! GET THE GATE CODE BEFORE YOU ARRIVE:
4) Mistake #4 - I have a wicked bad back and the main thing I forgot to ask was, “how soft/hard are the beds?” – They are SUPER SOFT which is nice if you like to sleep on a cloud, but I need army style basic training FIRM so I wound up sleeping on one of the two single beds in the 3rd bedroom.
ASK ABOUT THE HARD/SOFT BEDS
5) Mistake #5 - TV’S – If you have kids and they insist on brining their XBOX, Wii, PlayStation, MAKE SURE the TV’s have HDMI inputs. Two of the 3 TV’s did NOT and the 3rd only had ONE HDMI input which means I could only watch “House of Cards” in the living room.
Now, onto the good:
I’m a “foodie” and Shawnemae booked us into the best restaurants (Coyaba, Coco Bistro, Seven, Mango Reef, Bella Luna, Garam Masala) and a great tour of “Iguana Island”. She provided pails, shovels and beach toys for the kids and was exactly what everyone else has said here… wonderful.
The rooms are great, all overlooking the ocean, with bug nets (fantastic) – Great air conditioning, even a separate AC unit for the master bedroom.
Great kitchen with ice maker, microwave, and ALL utensils. Some I didn’t even know what they were for. There’s coffee and yes, a coffee maker and a big ice chest to take on those trips (just remember dad, you have to CARRY this stuff!) and lots of towels for the beach.
Maid service is wonderful. They even clean the sand away. And there’s always lots of sand. There’s sand everywhere. They do a really good job.
The best part? THERE’S NOBODY THERE. At the most, we saw two other couples at any given time. The pool is bath water warm (no Jacuzzi) and the only thing that would have made this a “luxury” experience would have been some sort of cabana boy (or girl) to take drink orders, but since they don’t have a bar or a restaurant…
My wife and I agree that if you’re going to call this a “luxury” resort, there should be, well, luxury. Yes, as written in other reviews there’s a bar and restaurant right next door.
Several other notes:
There’s absolutely no traffic (something I’m not used to coming from L.A.) but driving is challenging! If you’re going to Sapodilla Bay or Taylor Bay, they are about as impossible as winning the lottery. Please see directions on other reviews, they REALLY helped out. There are NO SIGNS. ANYWHERE. EVER.
I’ve read everything is expensive, but everything is Louis Vuitton EXPENSIVE:
100 for lunch – guaranteed. An apple? 100 bucks. Cheese Sandwich? 100 bucks. You think I’m joking. Just wait. Budget an extra 500 bucks minimum.
250-300 bucks for dinner at a nice place (and they’re really not that great, see my other reviews)
Grocery store – 20 bucks for a 6 pack of beer. Coke,12 bucks for ONE 12 pack. Not complaining as we’re on an ISLAND, but just be warned.
The Airport: There’s no air conditioning and it’s as miserable as being a Cubs fan. You do NOT need to arrive 2 hours ahead of time – An hour is more than enough. Their PA system is about as good as two cans and a string.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Privacy, luxury and intimacy are excellent words to describe The Tuscany - a luxury boutique resort offering 30 luxury suites. Located on Grace Bay Beach The Tuscany features an Italian inspired courtyard and European style swimming pool, two lighted tennis courts, complimentary wifi and complimentary bikes, and a fully equipped gym. All suites are oceanfront, with an open concept dining and living area, fully equipped kitchens with state of the art stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, travertine marble flooring. Master bedrooms with king bed overlook Grace Bay; the other two bedrooms, a queen and a set of twins, have ensuite bathrooms. Suites can be "locked off". Screened in patio, accessible by the master bedroom and/or the living room. Both living area and master suites feature panoramic ocean views and floor-to-ceiling windows. ... more less
- Reservation Options:
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- Also Known As:
- The Tuscany Hotel Providenciales
- Tuscany Hotel Providenciales
- Tuscany Resort Providenciales
- The Tuscany Turks And Caicos/Providenciales