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“THE WHISTLING TURD!!!!”

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Whistling Bird Resort
Ranked #41 of 80 Hotels in Negril
Certificate of Excellence
Sandwich, Massachusetts
1 review
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 4 helpful votes
“THE WHISTLING TURD!!!!”
Reviewed July 22, 2010

This was by far the WORST place I have ever stayed at in my entire life. I would of rather slept in a tent.

Let me begin with the arrival to the Whistling Turd. When you pull into a resort you can usually tell how your week will go by the looks of the outside....Well, there was a large, broken down grey cement wall with overgrown bushes and plastic flowers. There was no parking lot, it was just a dirt stop. The sign on the wall that they had hanging was run down and tacky, showing the backside of 3 girls in thongs...a nice picture for my kids to see.

When you get around the corner of the makeshift parking area...there is more dirt or mud. (depending upon if it was raining out) This small areas leads to the broken down sidewalk through which they called "beautiful jungle rainforest". This consists of overgrown bushes, hardly any flowers and more dirt.

The check in was ridiculous. No lobby, just a few Jamacian's deciding what room to put you in.

The room: Very old, run down. The beds were about 500 years old and yellow and brown. The rooms were so dark that you can't see any of your clothes. There are no dressers for your clothes. They only had two cabinets that resembled something you would see in a kitchen for your clothes. The lighting in the bathroom was dark. The water pressure was AWFUL and we did not have a hot shower the ENTIRE time we were there. I honestly didn't even feel clean after taking a shower. To get to the shower there was a ramp that you had to go down to get into it....very slippery and my daughter fell several times. There was only a screen on the bathroom window and no curtain, so bugs could enter at their desire. Anyone walking by can also get a free peep show. I witnessed a few employees snorting lines right outside our window.

BUGS: Let me tell you that I got bit every night by bugs. They must have been in the beds. One day my husband counted 17 bites! It was awful. I had to sleep with bug spray on every night and apply itch cream constantly.

We asked for an air-conditioned room. The entire week we had no air and they kept telling us they were fixing it.

This roach motel is located DIRECTLY across from a Jamaican nightclub-The Jungle. The Jungle ROCKS a few nights a week from about 10-5am. The music is so loud it sounds like its in your room. While the club is open, the streets sound like the Daytona 500. Cars peeling out, racing, beeping. One night, I heard gun shots. I was terrrified to sleep every night at this dump.

Food: GROSS and expensive. The cook in the kitchen acts like she wants to murder you when you place an order. Then your food may come within two hours if you are lucky. The only thing I would eat there is the fruit plate. Good luck getting a drink.....sometimes the bartender is gone and good luck on getting a cold beer. If you order a frozen drink , the straw is guaranteed to have a hole in it. There is no entertainment or nightlife at this place.

The beach had about 10 of the most uncomfortable, broken down chairs I have ever seen! They had holes in them and it was like laying on a screen door. Did I meantion that everytime you sat on one the back of the chair hit you in the head. It was very pleasant. I also notices that the beach in front of the "Turd" smelled of pis. When I took walks along the beach, I didn't notice the smell anywhere else.

I couldn't wait to get out of this place and counted the days....I wouldn't go to this place if someone paid me to go.


AWFUL

  • Stayed April 2010, traveled with family
    • Value
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Helpful?
4 Thank keriann10
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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153 reviews from our community

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Traveler tips help you choose the right room.   Room tips (12)
Date | Rating
  • English first
  • Italian first
  • Any
English first
connecticut, USA
Level Contributor
7 reviews
4 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 10 helpful votes
Reviewed July 10, 2010

I have stayed twice at Whistling Bird. To start with, the setting is beautiful. They take great pride in their grounds to the extent that they offer regular guided tours. The staff has remained constant over my visits there, and they seem to consider their guests to be like family. The bungalos are basic but comfortable. The food is authentic Jamaican, especially if you request something a day or two in advance. My oxtail was superb - thanks again Sonya.

If you are looking for the typical all-inclusive walled-off enclave, this is not for you. If you are looking to experience Jamaican hospitality, cuisine, and pure tranquility, you will find it here. No problem!

  • Stayed March 2009, traveled solo
    • Value
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Helpful?
Thank upright_n_locked
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Dallas
1 review
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 2 helpful votes
Reviewed July 2, 2010

After walking around and looking at many of the countless choices for rooms/hotels/resorts to stay at in Negril, we found Whistling Bird to have the most relaxing charm. From the friendly and exceptionally helpful staff, to the well manicured lush garden paths that lead to uniquely rustic cottages you are sure to find a happy slice of real Jamaica here. Rooms are cleaned daily. Staff and management will happily make suggestions or arrangements for a variety of adventures.

  • Stayed June 2010, traveled as a couple
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Helpful?
2 Thank ishouldtravelmore
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
London, England
Level Contributor
4 reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 2 helpful votes
Reviewed June 29, 2010

I have visited the Whistling Bird previously during a trip to Jamaica in 2007, therefore approached the resort directly regarding accommodation this time via Bavra, the extremely accommodating and helpful office/reservations worker.

However, prior to my arrival, I was telephoned at my office number, by another member of staff, requesting a deposit - that's ok, I guess, but I was then told, "oh, I have reserved the air conditioned room for you".. ok, I am thinking to myself (why didnt Bavra have this conversation with me), then it came....... "would you bring a mobile phone for me?" was the request, which totally came from nowhere and I felt inappropriate. I had never met nor spoken to this person previously.

On arrival, I was approached by the offending person quite agressively, "HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE PHONE FOR ME!". From that point on I felt intimidated in that persons presence, and doubt if I will ever, very sadly, return to the beloved Whistline Bird.

All other services and staff where excellent.

  • Stayed June 2010, traveled as a couple
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Helpful?
1 Thank ShyGirl43
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
New Berlin, Wisconsin
Level Contributor
3 reviews
Reviewed May 4, 2010

We truly enjoyed our stay at Whistling Bird. It was peaceful and quite at this little paradise. The staff was loving, kind. helpful. The only thing that wasn't perfect was the noise from some of the other resorts late at night, which can NOT be blamed on this resort. We definitely would consider going back, and bringing friends!!!!!

  • Stayed March 2010, traveled as a couple
    • Value
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Helpful?
Thank gkhultquist
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
U.S.A.
Level Contributor
3 reviews
Reviewed February 18, 2010

Arriving at Whistling Bird... You walk through the gate following a path through tropical grounds, over a small foot bridge, the cottages in the background, the beach in front of you. We were greeted by the Whistling Bird staff, they were so friendly and very accommodating, they made us feel right at home. Our cottage had rocking chairs on the patio facing the ocean. 'I love this place!' The over-sized sunken shower was the first thing I noticed as I entered. The spacious cottages are very clean and comfortably decorated, the windows can convert into open air windows. The food was mmmm delicious! Home cooked Jamaican cuisine with the freshest of ingredients. I was very impressed with the variety of the menu. Oh, and the fresh lobster and fish... Loved it! You can eat your meal in the open air restaurant or just about anywhere. They will bring it to your cottage, the beach bar or at the beach. The resort is in a great location on 7 Mile Beach. There is PLENTY to do in Negril. You will have no problem finding your thing in Jamaica. But most of all, as mentioned earlier, is the warmth and kindness we felt from the entire Whistling Bird family and the wonderful people of Jamaica! They really made this vacation complete!

  • Stayed January 2010, traveled with friends
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Helpful?
Thank ocean2travel
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
colorado
Level Contributor
2 reviews
Reviewed February 15, 2010

My husband, 21 year old daughter and I just returned from a week at the Whistling Bird in Negril. What an experience! The food was spectacular, the view amazing, and the cabin/bungalow was very comfortable and clean. We really were treated like family. We loved it so much we rarely ventured out except to do some snorkeling. There are so many great people that have been working there for years, and they really make you feel welcome, and are always around to help you out. They offered lots of tips about Negril and the surrounding areas. Everything from to where to get a good deal or find something, what to do for fun, or to how to handle people selling their wares. (All you have to do is say no thanks, but have a great day, and they will leave you alone. I find that if you treat people with respect, you will get the same in return. Personally, we enjoyed interacting with many of them and looked forward to seeing them each day and getting to know them). Tipping is important to these people. It is a poverty stricken place, and they work their butts off and depend on us tourists to make a living. Just remember how much you are spending to take the trip, a few hundred spread out between the staff while you are there will not make or break you, but it WILL make a big difference in their lives. So please, don't be cheap! If you are lucky enough to be one of the first ones up, you will see that Martin has spent the night cleaning up the leaves from all the gorgeous tropical plants, and raking the sand into beautiful patterns all the way from the room to the beach! And, he'll have some amazing fresh coffee ready by 6:00am! There is good security on site 24/7. Sonia is a fabulous chef, and it is good to let her know mid to late afternoon what you would like for dinner, because she really takes her time to make each person's food is just the way they like it. She prides herself on not wasting food, so she doesn't cook up a bunch of stuff just in case someone wants it. A unique variety of 5 course meals are offered, with fresh home made rolls and some of the best soup I've ever had. There is a woman there named Subbeena, that gives excellent massages, at a fair price. Oh and Captain Moses and his son Lobster run a tour boat, which offers snorkeling, river trips, sunset cruises etc, all priced fairly. They know what they're doing and they are great people to hang out with. Miss G, Lilly, Robert, RJ, Bavera, Natalie, Chris, Martin, Sonia, Nouvlette, and Jim the owner, are a group that can't be beat. I'm sure I'm forgetting someone! Tell them the Diamonds sent you! And Enjoy!

  • Stayed February 2010, traveled with family
    • Value
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Helpful?
Thank ColoradoDiamonds
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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Additional Information about Whistling Bird Resort

Property: Whistling Bird Resort
Address: Norman Manley Blvd, Negril, Jamaica
Location: Caribbean > Jamaica > Westmoreland Parish > Negril
Amenities:
Bar / Lounge Beach Free High Speed Internet ( WiFi ) Free Parking Restaurant Room Service Wheelchair access
Hotel Style:
#27 Top resorts Hotel in Negril
#29 On the Beach Hotel in Negril
#30 Romantic Hotel in Negril
Price Range (Based on Average Rates): $$
Hotel Class:3 star — Whistling Bird Resort 3*
Number of rooms: 12
Official Description (provided by the hotel):
Beach cottages in a unique enclave. Totally immersed in nature, intensively landscaped. The cottages can be large or small, simple or deluxe. Whistling Bird offers amenities, several are unique. It's a small family business - an UNhotel, yet we have a pretty full slate of service to offer. We can do food and drink, a simple breakfast or dinner for example. What we really like to do is show off fine dining with our five course meal plan of refined Jamaican dishes. ... more   less 
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Also Known As:
Whistling Bird Hotel Negril
Whistling Bird Negril

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