...and costs will likely be higher than quoted, I might add.
Darius and Bee may have been adorable and well-meaning when starting this place, but, to be as charitable as possible, running a hotel may have been a bit too much for them to take on. The cafe is just ok (disappointing food, especially the bread, but good coffee), but the little bungalows they rent out are abysmal. Incredibly lacking in privacy (even for Pattaya Beach), not very clean, hole-y mosquito nets, and right next to the incredibly loud kitchen of the pace next door (which starts up at 5 am). Unless you are a career drinker or deaf, you will literally pay to leave there.
And you'll have to, since Darius apparently lies about the price; when asked, he quoted us 600-800 baht a night - when we lugged our bags over the hill to move in and signed the registry, however, he changed his mind, saying those rates were "only for long stays," and that it was actually 1000. (He knew we planned on staying less than a week, so wtf?)
He demands full payment in advance, which makes sense after the first night of being lulled to sleep by raucous bar music from one side, and awoken to screaming and clanging from the other at 5 am. When we mentioned this, he replied angrily that "we all have to live with it!" and suggested we do what the other patrons do and drink ourselves to sleep (!!!).
Since I don't drink, and can only deal with sleep deprivation for so long, we ate the money and just left after 2 nights. We had been very polite about it, but even though Darius had told us he'd refund the rest of our week's stay, if the room was rented (and it WAS - the day we left! Not even one empty night!) Darius and Bee reconsidered after getting someone new in; they decided they wanted to keep both the money we'd paid for the week, and the room key we'd paid for. Class all the way. Even Cafe Lipe's loyal, long-term clients couldn't stick around to watch the discussion, the owners' behavior was so embarrassing and indefensible (my companion, who had also gotten to know some of the other German patrons, was calm and polite during the exchange, in contrast to Bee's snippiness and Darius's actual yelling!).
Despite the disgusting antics and bad-faith financial shenanigans, it was still worth it to move to a place run by people who actually cared about their guests (Jack's Jungle, which deserves every word of praise it's garnered and more). Stick to Billa Beach or Jack's (hell, maybe even Moonlight, which, despite its proximity to Cafe Lipe, has a really nice owner, though we didn't stay there), but stay away from this place unless you're a masochistic drunkard, who enjoys being cheated out of money by people who seem to get a kick out of it.