Whether it is Napa or Sonoma or Carmel or Carmel valley, any good hotel site will have a map or you can look at a map at maps.google.com to see where the hotels are with respect to restaurants and shops.
Do you want to stay in Carmel or in Carmel Valley ? If you want to stay in Carmel, and have spent time looking at the hotels listed on the left menu, then perhaps you can give us a budget.
You mentioned Farmhouse and L'Auberge in your Wine country posts so why not look at L'Auberge here and you can read reviews to decide if it is quiet or noisy for you
http://laubergecarmel.com/