Ah, New Jersey. El Estado de Jardines. Home to heroes on Highway 9, and more: The Unbeatable White Rose System. Harold, Kumar, and the White Castle for which they quest. Walt Whitman, Woodrow Wison, and Vince Lombardi, disparate souls sharing an unforeseen roadside kismet. And much else that, while not founded on USDA-graded carnage, shares its own kismet to be catalogued by your faithful correspondent in due course.
I write of the extraterrestrial nexus, of course. Grover’s Mill, where Orson Welles landed his invading Martians, brilliantly camouflaging fact as fiction disguised as fact. Bell Labs, where the Big Bang’s background radiation was first transceived. The Institute for Advanced Study, where Einstein’s brain wandered the cosmos long before its transcontinental journey in Tupperware. Menlo Park, where “Edison invented” (that avatar downloaded, is more like it) technologies still too advanced to loose upon primitive humanity. New Brunswick, where Buckaroo Banzai destroyed the Red Lectroids from Planet 10, even more brilliantly camouflaging fact as fiction disguised as fact ironized as fiction.
But not, your faithful correspondent vouchsafes, home to employment opportunities so compelling as to leave a residue of three girls to every boy. No such mundane lure could so overwhelm the attractions of Ticas muy guapas; demographic equilibrium would be reached long before. It is submitted, therefore, that said “certain (unnamed) town” is not to be found between Kittatinny and Cape May. It lies rather beyond our common orbit, where nefarious experiments have brought intergalactic hybrid vigor to the genome, and THUS to San Isidro de General.
---------
(Credits roll. A Random Act of Senseless Beauty production. No cane was harmed in the making of this diversion.)