What to do when a loved one passes away in PV

In cooperation with: Visit Mexico
Naperville, Illinois
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for Bucerias, Riviera Nayarit
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11,104 posts
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What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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Hello everyone,

Jim, my dear husband of 35 years died peacefully last Wednesday, Dec. 3. To give a little background, we had been going to PV since 1987 and in 2001, we bought property in Bucerias, about 20 miles north of downtown PV. We were not fortunate enough to have any children or much extended family. Jim retired last year, at age 61, when his health started getting worse and worse.

If you come to the PV area often and for extended periods of time, I hope the following will be helpful. Doesn't matter whether you stay in a hotel, resort or rental apartment:

1. Try to develop a relationship with a local doctor. I had several minor things like I ran out of a medication and needed a prescription, I fell down on a cobblestone street and had some minor injuries, I had a broken toe that required surgery, etc. I don't think it would hurt to just see a doctor for a general check-up so you could get to know them and see their facilities.

2. Try to develop a network of local friends. I hang out mostly with American and Canadian ex-pats, but I also know some Mexican people who live and work near my home in Bucerias. All have been very supportive.

3. Try to develop a relationship with a local taxi driver. They know the area well and can be incredibly helpful if you have an emergency.

4. If you become a caregiver, take good care of yourself. Eat when you can. If you are too overwhelmed to eat, drink meal replacement nutrition drinks like Ensure. Try to refrain from having too much alcohol or too many cigarettes. (I have to admit that I recently resumed smoking; I had quit about 6-7 years ago.) Reach out to others for help when you need it, even though you may not know them very well. Allow people to help you; don't try to "tough it out" or "go it alone".

5. Register with the U.S. or Canadian Consulate. I had registered myself with the U.S. when their office was still in PV, but we never got around to registering Jim after the office moved to Nuevo Vallarta.

6. If you are religious, get to know your local clergyman and how you can contact them in an emergency. In hindsight, I wasn't thinking about this at all. I wish I had called a priest to administer the Last Rites when it became evident that Jimmy was in extremely bad shape and was not going to make it.

7. You will need to supply a fair amount of info to the funeral home people and to the Consulate. Make sure you have the correct names of your loved one's mother and father and where they were born, etc. You will also need your loved one's passport and driver's license. (And your passport and driver's license.) Have some money and a credit card with you; I never dreamed that I would be paying a funeral home to do a cremation.

Last Wednesday morning, when Jim actually died, I called my doctor; he arranged for his associate to come to our condo immediately to pronounce him and he arranged for the funeral home people to take Jim's body for cremation. He also contacted the U.S. Consulate. A Consular Assistant called me before I even thought of calling them. Jim's body, the doctor and the funeral workers were all still here.

My favorite taxi driver then took me to the Consulate office to fill out a small amount of paperwork and to surrender his passport. The death certificates will be drawn up in Guadalajara and will not be available for another week or so. When I was leaving, the Agent gave me a big hug and she gave me her business card, writing her home phone number on it in case I needed anything or just wanted to talk.

Then my driver took me home; since he was going off duty, he left his taxi with another driver and took me in my own car to the funeral home in PV to arrange for the cremation. (He did not want any payment for his services.) On the way, we stopped to have a sandwich; he was very concerned that it was around 3:00 p.m. and I had not eaten much yet. After we got back to my place, I made him take some money. (He has small children and I asked him to get them something nice for Christmas.)

A new friend I met here on the TA is currently staying here in Bucerias. She came over yesterday and she took me to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. It was wonderful to see the sun set on the bay and have a nice meal with good company.

I hope this information will help others. Please feel free to write or send me a PM if I can help in any way with a similar situation.

God Bless.

Puerto Vallarta...
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954 posts
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1. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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Elenamex, I am so sorry for your loss and will say a prayer for you. This is good information to have. Thank you for taking the effort in your time of sorrow to inform the public about this process and give helpful tips. God bless you.

Chapala, Mexico
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2. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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Bless you, Elena. I am sorry to hear of your loss. Both of my late husbands died in the Guadalajara/Tlajomulco area. Your advice is excellent.

Concord, California
Destination Expert
for Sacramento, Puerto Vallarta
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19,931 posts
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3. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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Oh no, Elena. I'm so sorry to hear this. Your husband was so young. I remember all your posts about him being wheelchair bound, thus hard to get around.

You are incredibly generous to take time out of your own grief to give support to others who might need this advice. I hope you find peace and will have happy memories and future good times in your Bucerias home.

And, thank you for sharing the stories of the people who were supportive when it mattered. Very comforting.

Johnsburg, IL
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4. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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Elana, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest sympathies go out to you. I lost my mother on Christmas day back in 95 and know how hard it is around this special time of the year to be grieving for a loved one. I hope you know we are all thinking of you and may Jim rest in peace.

Thank you for taking time to post as your information is very good and hopefully it will help someone else in a bad situation. All are very good points.

God Bless You Elana. And Gold Bless all the wonderful people in PV who are/were there to help and supposrt you.

Pat and Jeff

Omaha, Nebraska
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5. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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So sorry, Elenamex.

It does not suprise me one bit that the local people in and around Puerto Vallarta behaved in the way they did for you, and that there was TA support for you also.

Although we are only there a week at a time a couple times a year, I am going to follow up on your advise.

Thanks and God Bless

Wpg
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6. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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Elenamex,

Please accept my condolences. I wish I new the words to ease your sorrow. I would like to say that after 35 years, Jim's love for you is forever.

God Bless you.

Specs

Dallas, Texas
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3,684 posts
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7. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. And thank you for providing some very valuable information even during this difficult time. My condolences. Deb

San Miguel de...
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4,923 posts
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8. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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So sad.

My children are nearly that age.

You were fortunate to be prepared as so few are these days.

Buen viaje.

M

So Cal
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10,458 posts
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9. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself during these hard times (I am sure Jim would have wanted you to). Thank you for taking the time to post the information.

Burnaby, Canada
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12,653 posts
320 reviews
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10. Re: What to do when a loved one passes away in PV
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Very sorry to hear of your loss Elena - please accept my condolences. And I too, wish to thank and commend you for posting this valuable information, and at such a difficult time for you.

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