Before I fall asleep at 4:15 AM due to how late I attended this abysmal establishment in order to choke down their godawful "food," I thought I'd write a review of my own, detailing the absolutely harrowing experience my friends and I had while dining...at Ram's Horn.
So there I was, on the 4th of July, discussing where I wanted to eat with two friends. We talked a bit and eventually stumbled upon what would later be viewed as the worst restaurant we have ever attended: Ram's Horn. We had just set off fireworks and it was getting late, and we didn't really want to eat any low-quality fast food (the irony is palpable). So we thought "eh, why not go here, it's 24 hours." So after a somewhat lengthy car ride (10 - 15 minutes), we finally arrive. At first, it seemed pretty nice. We were sat quickly, and shortly after we were given menus. Y'know, a standard experience up until we actually ordered our food, which we did at 11:50 PM until we were finally served at like 1:50 to 2:00 AM. I wish I was kidding. Christ, I will never regain the hours -- literal hours -- that were spent waiting for the absolute fu cking horse sh it we were served and I will regret that until my cold body is buried. So many people in the restaurant just up and left because of how long it was taking, and I feel like an absolute moron for not following suit. Under no circumstance should this be the case. Ever. I don't care if Gordon Ramsay himself is preparing my food, that is unacceptable. Oh, speaking of chefs who actually prepare good food, let's move on to the slop we were served.
My first set of fries were as hard as stone and nearly flavorless, and the second may as well have been oddly textured paper. They weren't incredibly hard or anything, but my God, the fries were so amazingly, bafflingly bland. Normally food has like, flavor and it kinda, y'know, tastes like food, right? Not this time! The only food-like quality these fries had was the fact that you were supposed to consume them, although they tried their damnedest to make sure no human would dare do so. And the fried shrimp? Without going into excruciating detail, I grimaced with each bite, and they were sub-par to the point where I could only rank them on the same tier as Long John Silver's. Scratch that, they were significantly worse because Long John Silver's never has multiple hour long wait periods and they don't serve shrimp that tastes like it expired 3 days ago. My friend ordered a steak which he had to drown in steak sauce just so he could eat it and justify his purchase. He, of course, couldn't justify his purchase nor could anyone because it was absolutely not worth it.
Now you may be thinking, "well, I'm sure the service was all right," but no. Funnily enough, we actually did ask for a bill for the soup (a side for the meals we ordered) they gave us so we could leave and buy food that was actually fit for human consumption, but we just weren't given a bill and decided to just stay because it would be kind of weird to walk out without paying for the soup, at least. The service was below passable almost immediately after we were seated and our orders were taken. The icing on the cake was had to be the fact that during our hours of waiting, they barely interacted with us to the point where we had to just call out for one of them to ask how long it would take. Of course, they gave us a non-answer and instead offered to refill our drinks, which they didn't actually do until we were nearly done with our prison food. Not only that, but we were given a bill with a shake we never ordered, so we pointed that out. When they fixed the error, I noticed something else on the bill: a gratuity fee. What a joke. That fee is reserved for waiters who:
1. Do their jobs properly.
2. Work at restaurants with good food.
That just about covers it, I think. Come to think of it, the bill was also pretty expensive. Like, over $40 together if I recall correctly, because they were shooting for the stars when it comes to poor quality, apparently.
TL;DR: You've lost 3 customers because your restaurant is godawful and the only reason you have 1 star is because I couldn't put a 0. Fu ck you.More