As Momma always said "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all..." -- but then Momma wasn't paying $$$ for a dinner out on the holidays with the kids when everyone is home from school and we are "downy o-shun" at the...condo... Green Turtle on Coastal Highway has been kind of our family's "go-to" for many years when the teenagers are at the condo in OCMD. Wife and I might prefer something fancier, but GT has always had the right mix of beer, sports and teen friendly menu, so everyone agrees. But I think maybe we need to find another choice based on most recent experience. Server was nice enough, but just "not really paying attention" or just not actively listening or whatever. Drinks. Got there on a Friday with about 4:30 knowing happy hour went to 6 -- asked what drink specials were, to which she replied "oh, there is no happy hour today..." After checking at bar, she replied with "Ok, there is a happy hour, but I don't know what the deals are..." Ok, we'll look it up on our phone. Rail drinks = $3.50, cool we'll run with that. Vodka and diet coke. "Do you want a lemon?" -- Yes. "Cool, I'll give you a lime..." Strange, but maybe she was being clever??? Vodka and unsweeted tea for wife. Got a sweet tea, no vodka. Teen (who seriously looks young, as in like middle school young) ordered a water. Waitress says "like do you mean tonic water with your vodka?" Kid is looking at me, Dad, like "what the Hell do I do here?..." Food. Of 5 people, 3 ordered salads. The "vodka and tonic kid" asks for no tomatoes. The other salads come with cherry tomatoes (or so the menu says). Perhaps not marking it down on the order slip, or the waitress can't remember who ordered what, or maybe the chef can't decipher slip, ALL salads come out with no tomatoes. Whatever, we tomato lovers will live. Vodka and tonic kid's salad did have "Pecans" in the title, so that's a bonus -- except there wasn't a tree nut to be seen within 50 miles of his salad, along with his requested no tomatoes... Daughter orders wing bites with side of fries. No fries. Gotta' get waitress's attention (she rarely comes back to table) to get fries delivered. She's nice enough about it, but we are getting a little grumpy now... Bill. This is the best part. We have gift certificate from past year. GT runs a promotion where you "Buy $100 Get $25" -- had it for a few years and we always buy them as the kids like the place. In fact, we were just there in November 2022 and used GC in the tee shirt shop and at the bar. Throw down the GC and waitress comes back and says, and I quote: "We don't take the gift certificate. We're not corporate anymore." That's it. Now its my turn -- as apparently I'm supposed to know what this means -- but I don't -- all I know is that I bought a $100 gift certificate at this same GT location and used it 3 weeks prior and now I've got someone just saying "we're not corporate..." Sigh. Again, she seems nice enough, and this one I suppose is not her baggage, so my exasperated wife says "we just used it here last month, and in fact I called before we came up to see if we could use it in the tee shirt shop as well..." (which is true -- again, kids like the place, why not but them a Turtle Tee for Xmas). Waitress goes to see manager to consult. Returns to table and says, and I quote: "Manager wants to know what phone number you called..." WTF??? I suppose we could have scrolled thru our iPhone and try to figure out what area code 410 or 443 or whatever number attaches to the Green Turtle at 11601 Coastal Highway, but at this point I think we just want the game to end, pay the check, and move on with our lives. After leaving, my wife said "huh, I didn't think of it at the time, but why didn't we say "the phone number of THIS restaurant" when asked what number we called. At least we had a chuckle as we we're reminiscing that it reminded us of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer does "Movie Phone" from his apartment ("why don't you just tell us the phone number of the Green Turtle you wish to see...") GT folk who run this place -- I hope you read this review. I hope you guys care. This isn't a good look. You lost folks who kind of really enjoyed your place. "You aren't corporate" anymore. I think I figured it out what that means (played around on web and see your located isn't mentioned on Green Turtle website). But ironically enough, I never went to any other locations -- just 11601. You are/were the GT to us. And I bought gift certificates there every year. Until they don't work -- or you can't guess the correct phone number... But we'll always have the tee shirt. Later...More
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