The entry and layout of this restaurant is lovely. The waitstaff are efficient and attentive. But the food ...
We were six for dinner. Little snacks were served right after we sat down and drinks were ordered. We received 5 little roasted peppers ... five...for the six of us. Tiny .. like my little finger or smaller. Plus a teaspoon of their red pepper spread. A teaspoon ... for six people. Salt and olive oil on the table, too.
The owner (or son of the owner) came to our table without menus and told us how great the 3-course menu was. He did not offer anything else and, of course, he didn't hand out any menus. I was a bit put out at this time because I had looked forward to an interesting Portuguese dinner. So far, I was underwhelmed. Every one at the table took the sales pitch bait and ordered the 3-course menu he offered. I did, too.
For the appetizer, I chose the "Burger" of Feta cheese and walnut.
OK, touch your middle finger to your thumb and look at the circle you have made. That is the size of the "Burger" I was served, two of them, about 1/4 inch thick. These came with 4 scraggly pieces of arugula. They were room temperature and absolutely tasteless, unless glue is a taste. My wife ordered the salmon, described as their take on Gravlax pressed between slices of raw, red beets. She received three small pieces (think hand cut tagliatelle 1/2 inch by 4 inches by 1/8 inch thick) and one of the tiniest gherkin pickles I had ever seen. She let me have a bite ... just the flavor of raw beet - no salmon, no Gravlax flavor. Awful.
For the main course I ordered the pig jowls. I received two small chunks of meat, one a bit dried out, in a sauce with one small potato - small, like the size of the end of your thumb. The saving grace was to be all the cool side dishes that would be served with the main course. "Oh good," I thought, now some Portuguese cuisine! Nope ... two small bowls of french fries and a small bowl of salad ... seriously small, like an appetizer salad for one. We were six at the table, remember? We asked for more salad for the table and we received one extra bowl even smaller than the first. I didn't know they made salad bowls that small.
My wife's main course was the fish - hake. A nice sized piece, steamed I think, sometime earlier in the day and left warm, waiting to be ordered. It hadn't quite become vulcanized, but it wasn't cooked like a nice fish steak should have been cooked. It was tough, chewy and a bit dried out. I already said "awful" once, but seriously ...
My desert was a rice pudding dish, served with dried apricots. The pudding arrived as a cube, about two inches on each side, proudly standing on its own next to two sad, dried apricots. The rice pudding didn't taste like rice or pudding. Sort of like the white paste I remember from my childhood, the kind used to glue pieces of paper together.
We each paid 35 Euros for what was, essentially, three courses of ill-prepared tapas-sized courses. Not even Portuguese tapas. I don't know what they were thinking.
I'm never going back. I'm still simmering.More
