TA tell me this is my 94th Tripadvisor review. And looking back at old reviews I give lots of praise when it’s due, I give the good and bad points when it’s a mixed experience, and I criticize constructively when things are not as advertised or expected. So with great sadness, here goes. Apologies for the length of this – it’s a bit of an essay I’m afraid. We’ve been coming to Barbados in November for about 15 years, and to the Crane for nearly 10 years. Barbados is expensive – next week a one or 2 bedroom with a private pool at the Crane is 3000-7000GBP. For just ONE week! With no food! Not even breakfast! This is advertised as luxury and the price tag is certainly in that category. However, quite a few people staying at the Crane are not paying the rack rate. They have invested some capital – a little more than 10kGBP for an off peak week and paid a little over 1kGBP a week annual charges per week either for fixed weeks in a preferred unit or to buy points to use to book from the varied accommodation with varied dates. It’s a good deal compared with hotel prices on the island. We worked hard for years, were lucky enough to have some “mad money”, and originally bought Crane points, and then switched to a fixed unit and fixed weeks. I’ve reviewed the Crane several times over the years, and positively. Then in 2019 we were suddenly told “our” lovely unit would not be available to us for some years because additional units were being built and added to that building. The thing that really got to us was we couldn’t agree in advance what the replacement unit we would be in would be whilst the building work was happening. After we’d invested a fair chunk of capital and paid all fees promptly……they’d just put us somewhere of their choosing and we would have to put up with it! Simultaneously Hilton Grand Vacations were moving in and seemingly buying up lots of room capacity at the Crane. We had a meeting with the owner, a new and fair-but-not-generous exit strategy was put to us (I suspect Hilton wanted our accommodation and weeks), and (thank goodness) we took it. We got a chunk of Crane points, didn’t have to pay annual fees, and we had 5 years to use the equivalent of 2 weeks a year, and then the agreement ends for both parties The pandemic meant we were unable to come for a while of course, so for the past few years we’ve stayed for 3 weeks, had a 2 bedroomed unit with a pool instead of a 1 bed unit, and brought friends and family to enjoy Barbados with us. I will list the good stuff about the Crane later. But sadly, for the last two Novembers we have experienced such poor levels of service that staying at the Crane can only be described as a project with many challenges. A few examples:- - Last year I booked an airport transfer for our arrival. If we fly from London (there aren’t many other options when the Crane only does Sat-Sat bookings) its 2 days of travel for us. We are tired and jet lagged, and someone meeting us, taking us straight to the Crane to check in and relax makes all the difference. Last year the transfer didn’t turn up. We took a taxi from the airport kiosk, the taxi was ramshackle, the driver went far too fast, we didn’t think he was safe, but we did get there. I told the Concierge about the non-transfer, didn’t get much of an apology, and then when we came to check out the charge for the (non) transfer was still on the bill. I wrangled for quite a while before that charge was removed. So this year I (foolishly) booked another airport transfer. I specifically mentioned the previous year’s non-arrival and asked for the transfer this year to be assured. And of course there was, for the second year running, no one to meet us. The Crane promotes this airport transfer booking in its advertising. There’s even a special booking form on its website. We were lucky; a local taxi driver played the Good Samaritan and phoned the Crane for us. We waited an hour in a tropical rainstorm (after 2 days travelling) and eventually a car did arrive. Four days later I got an email apologizing for the “delayed” arrival of our transfer. It was not “delayed”. There was no transfer at all until the Good Samaritan stepped in. As an apology we finally got a plate of fruit (mostly melon), and the worst bottle of wine I’ve tasted since I was an 18 year old, and very poor university student. It was fit only for cooking. During our stay I spoke to several other guests who had also had booked airport transfers that had not turned up; some of them were still waiting for their room 2 hours after the advertised check in time. - Booking rooms with Crane points requires a lot of work. This year it took me 9 months and 54 emails plus a video call with a manager to get something like a configuration that suited our party, and even then we got rooms allocated on arrival rather than prior confirmation. If you look at reviews on Booking.com you’ll get a fair impression of the variable quality of the accommodation at the Crane. Some is lovely. Some isn’t. Note that lots of positive Crane reviews on TA are from people with very few other reviews, often one. Draw your own conclusions. I made it clear we were not going to be staying in a battered unit overlooking the trash cans, and to be fair what we eventually got was good. Everything worked in the 2 bed with garden pool in the Park, and the 2 bed with ocean view and plunge pool we moved to for week 3 was rather splendid. The ocean was indeed viewable, and there was lots of space. But talking to other Crane owners, the considered opinion was that Crane owners were a lower priority now than e.g. Hilton customers when it came to booking accommodation. - However splendid the ocean view was, housekeeping went downhill in week 3. It was day 4 before we got the appropriate number of towels, and any bathmats or oven gloves. These are not just “nice to have”. We’re not young anymore. Slipping with a wet foot on a marble floor coming out of the shower is potentially catastrophic. One night as we are heading out at 7pm my daughter’s bed had been stripped but not remade with clean bedding. Apparently, there was a shortage of sheets. If we were in an AirBNB down at the Gap they’d have sheets on the bed. Handling hot dishes with one of our few towels as a makeshift oven mitt? The last housekeeping visit was at 9pm when we are eating dinner. It sounds petty, but at these prices, how is any of this acceptable? - At a resort, you’d have thought they’d have a system for booking restaurants. They do. But it doesn’t work. The 2nd night I booked electronically at the Italian (D’Onofrios). We wanted to treat some friends who were on resort. Food has been very good in previous years (see my previous reviews). We had a drink and then walked to the restaurant, only to find we were not booked in. Not good, but they found us a table. We were then served the worst meal I have ever eaten in a restaurant (and I’m pretty old and have eaten in lots of restaurants). Our friends left lots of theirs. No one asked us if there was a problem when they took the plates away. It’s not just us. Read other recent reviews. “Let’s try eating at L’Azure then” I say, trying to keep spirits up. I go in person to book for the following night (and have witnesses, not trusting electronic bookings now). I see the booking being written down. We roll up the next night at the appointed hour……..and you guessed it, no booking. How does that happen? They found us a table. The food was good. But we then gave up booking to eat in restaurants. We went on spec and hoped for the best. The Bar food in 1887 was limited but good, as was the Carriage House – if you’re prepared for up to an hour’s wait after ordering before the food comes.. - Last year we had cockroaches in our 2 bed garden with pool in the Park. It’s 10pm at night, I’m 70 years old, and I’m playing whack-a-roach with a flip flop (in front of the friend we’ve “treated” to experience our “luxury” resort). “It’s the tropics, these things happen” we say, but I report the infestation at 8am the next day. At 1pm nobody has responded. Eventually after several more requests we get sprayed. A few days later, more roaches. Again, 5 hours before anyone responds. Management “gave” us a few Barbadian dollars as room credit as an apology. When we’re checking out, they haven’t been credited. More wrangling. - The gym hasn’t had a refurb in 5 years. There’s just the two treadmills left and they weren’t always working – this year one actually stopped suddenly when I was running on it. Fortunately I wasn’t injured. The one elliptical clunks when in use. The one static bike was broken the entire 3 weeks. The one rowing machine has had the seat fixed on the wrong way round for the entire 5 years it has been in the gym – I do keep telling reception, but there it is again the next year, still the wrong way round. How we laugh! The gym toilets blocked (offensively) twice in 3 weeks. Note the prices here folks, at this “luxury” resort. And the Crane say their gym is a “state of the art facility”. It isn’t, and to say that is a complete misrepresentation. - I could go on and on. Paying our room charges with our own Crane points in this our last year has been so problematic I had a meeting with Crane management and we set out a 4 stage process for the mostly new staff on reception. Sigh. It didn’t work. At final checkout you’d have thought I was the first ever guest to attempt to pay with Crane points. Perhaps this is because I’m told many of the old staff have been very unhappy and left, some going to the new Wyndham resort 10 minutes up the road. It seems there are some Crane owners challenging the accounts and the way expenses have been paid to higher management. The general manger has left. We are far from alone as Crane owners leaving. - But finally there is one last problem that I have also spoken to the Crane management about. We’ve had clothes go missing from our room. A few years ago, two lovely dresses of my wife’s. Then on another occasion an expensive Gant shirt of mine of which I was very fond. This year – a pair of my shorts, 2 new and expensive T shirts and 2 pairs of my socks!! Over the years, maybe 250-300GBP worth of clothes. You might think we mislaid them, left them in a drawer or the washing machine. But we are meticulous. We both sweep rooms 3 times after we’ve packed everything. This year I realised the shorts were missing at the end of week 2 when packing to move rooms, spoke to management, they didn’t do anything, and they haven’t been “found”. It’s a horrible thought, but I have to seriously wonder whether there is a security problem. I don’t know how you keep tabs on whether all your clothes are still there in your hotel room when you are on holiday. The point is, surely you shouldn’t have to even think about it. I did say I’d list the good things. Crane Beach is currently glorious. Pink sand, waves, no seaweed. Early morning wave jumping followed by a coffee from the Coffee Shop is just glorious. Some of the accommodation, if you are persistent and assertive, is actually spacious and mostly good. From other reviews, it seems others agree that it’s not worth 3-7kGBP a week though. We like the full kitchens and for years have combined some simple self-catering with some meals out. A local taxi (we used our Good Samaritan for lots of things this year and tipped him well) will take you to the local supermarket, wait for you and you bring you back with shopping. It’s an experience in itself. We again hired a decent electric SUV from Go Car at a fair price via the concierge, and the Crane had a charging point that was mostly available. Hunte’s Gardens, Bathsheba, North Point and the whole of the east of Barbados are just gorgeous and far far better for the soul than the over-priced, traffic-jammed mess the west coast has become. Every day we were at the freeform pools someone came round taking drinks orders – the one lovely touch that felt like luxury the whole three weeks, and much appreciated – even if the “glasses” were necessarily plastic. So for us, it’s a case of “Some people are on the pitch, they think it’s all over…..well it is now”. Our Crane points are used up. If you’re still reading this, you’ll understand why we would never, ever return. Even for free. I genuinely hope the new manager, whoever that is, can turn things round. Because we still have a lot of affection for the Crane, for other owners, and for some of the more cheerful staff who work there. (The grumpy or frankly obstructive staff need weeding out by the new management. There’s a 12.5% service charge added automatically that under Barbados law has to be distributed to the staff evenly; but I didn’t add a tip for anyone the entire 3 weeks, and I’m someone who likes to acknowledge good service). If you’re visiting or if you’re still an owner, I hope your stays are better than we’ve had recently. But for us, it is actually a huge relief to be planning to stay elsewhere in Barbados next November.…