The Orchard Theatre
The Orchard Theatre
4.3
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
Monday
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
Tuesday
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
Wednesday
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
Thursday
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
Friday
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
Saturday
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
Sunday
10:15 AM - 6:00 PM
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- Lysa MGravesend, United Kingdom30 contributionsThis was by far the worst “pantomime” (if you can call it that) I’ve ever been to! Just 3 people prancing around on stage playing at least 3 different roles with below average costumes, nothing really pantomime related apart from 2 or 3 rubbish songs with out of time dancing and muffled singing. The cast were relying solely on swearing to carry the performance (obviously it’s an adult show but where’s the comedy?) One of the costumes was quite literally a witches Halloween costume and black wig. There was no real rhyme or reason to the story and was very amateur. We were very looking forward to this after reading the reviews but were sorely disappointed. People were walking out mid performance! The fact this was called a pantomime is appalling to me. There were no drag queens, lack of comedy, lack of decent musical numbers and felt more like an amateur play with rushed punch lines and very chaotic “acting.” Completely not worth the money, very disappointed.Visited January 2025Traveled with friendsWritten January 9, 2025
- jean mLondon, United Kingdom68 contributionsWent to see the Drifters at the temporary Theatre for a first visit sat in X row as recommended by theatre staff. Firstly due to the bar being open the whole evening there was a constant traffic of people in front of us,the door being constantly open and closed just to the left off us both which spoiled our enjoyment of the show. The Drifters are one of my favourites sadly this marred our evening, wether it was due to the door situation it also became very chilly in these seats (28 29).Hello, We are sorry to hear that your experience at our theatre did not meet your expectations. Your feedback is valuable to us, and we'll certainly take it into consideration as we strive to improve. We apologize for any inconvenience or disappointment you may have experienced and we hope you'll consider giving us another chance in the future to provide you a more enjoyable visit. If there is anything specific you'd like to address or discuss further, please do not hesitate to reach out to us directly at ticketoffice@orchardtheatre.co.uk The Orchard Theatre/Orchard West TeamWritten November 27, 2024This response is the subjective opinion of the management representative and not of Tripadvisor LLC.Visited October 2024Traveled with friendsWritten October 28, 2024
- Sheila ADartford, United Kingdom21 contributionsWent to see Fairytale of New York. Wasn't prepared to sit through another hour just to hear one song at the end. Performance by a cast of 12 people. Quite flat overall. Left at the intermission and the seats were very uncomfortable also.Visited December 2024Traveled with familyWritten December 2, 2024
These reviews are the subjective opinion of Tripadvisor members and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews.
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Most Recent: Reviews ordered by most recent publish date in descending order.
Detailed Reviews: Reviews ordered by recency and descriptiveness of user-identified themes such as wait time, length of visit, general tips, and location information.
Popular mentions
4.3
691 reviews
Excellent
387
Very good
187
Average
63
Poor
21
Terrible
33
Lysa M
Gravesend, UK30 contributions
Jan 2025 • Friends
This was by far the worst “pantomime” (if you can call it that) I’ve ever been to! Just 3 people prancing around on stage playing at least 3 different roles with below average costumes, nothing really pantomime related apart from 2 or 3 rubbish songs with out of time dancing and muffled singing. The cast were relying solely on swearing to carry the performance (obviously it’s an adult show but where’s the comedy?)
One of the costumes was quite literally a witches Halloween costume and black wig. There was no real rhyme or reason to the story and was very amateur. We were very looking forward to this after reading the reviews but were sorely disappointed. People were walking out mid performance!
The fact this was called a pantomime is appalling to me. There were no drag queens, lack of comedy, lack of decent musical numbers and felt more like an amateur play with rushed punch lines and very chaotic “acting.” Completely not worth the money, very disappointed.
One of the costumes was quite literally a witches Halloween costume and black wig. There was no real rhyme or reason to the story and was very amateur. We were very looking forward to this after reading the reviews but were sorely disappointed. People were walking out mid performance!
The fact this was called a pantomime is appalling to me. There were no drag queens, lack of comedy, lack of decent musical numbers and felt more like an amateur play with rushed punch lines and very chaotic “acting.” Completely not worth the money, very disappointed.
Written January 9, 2025
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
jean m
London, UK68 contributions
Oct 2024 • Friends
Went to see the Drifters at the temporary Theatre for a first visit sat in X row as recommended by theatre staff. Firstly due to the bar being open the whole evening there was a constant traffic of people in front of us,the door being constantly open and closed just to the left off us both which spoiled our enjoyment of the show. The Drifters are one of my favourites sadly this marred our evening, wether it was due to the door situation it also became very chilly in these seats (28 29).
Written October 28, 2024
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
Hello,
We are sorry to hear that your experience at our theatre did not meet your expectations. Your feedback is valuable to us, and we'll certainly take it into consideration as we strive to improve. We apologize for any inconvenience or disappointment you may have experienced and we hope you'll consider giving us another chance in the future to provide you a more enjoyable visit.
If there is anything specific you'd like to address or discuss further, please do not hesitate to reach out to us directly at ticketoffice@orchardtheatre.co.uk
The Orchard Theatre/Orchard West Team
Written November 27, 2024
This response is the subjective opinion of the management representative and not of Tripadvisor LLC.
Sheila A
Dartford, UK21 contributions
Dec 2024 • Family
Went to see Fairytale of New York. Wasn't prepared to sit through another hour just to hear one song at the end. Performance by a cast of 12 people. Quite flat overall. Left at the intermission and the seats were very uncomfortable also.
Written December 2, 2024
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
daipp
Cromer, UK23 contributions
Jan 2023
Just about to book two £60.00 tickets to see The King & I in April and noticed there is an additional £12.00 booking fee on top of that. That is probably the highest booking fee I have ever seen for ANY theatre, anywhere in the world. That's an additional 20% of the ticket price on top!!! The back row of the Upper Circle with a restricted view is charging a £7.00 booking fee. It's not as if it's the West End or Broadway, it's Dartford.
This booking fee is an absolute scandal and people are voting with their feet as it is nowhere near full. I expect that the theatre is ignoring the cost-of-living crisis and sticking two fingers up at anyone who might want some small relief in the current climate we have been placed in.
#Appalled #Scandal
This booking fee is an absolute scandal and people are voting with their feet as it is nowhere near full. I expect that the theatre is ignoring the cost-of-living crisis and sticking two fingers up at anyone who might want some small relief in the current climate we have been placed in.
#Appalled #Scandal
Written January 28, 2023
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
Rosiebee
Hastings, UK106 contributions
Jan 2025 • Family
Our experience in this so called theatre was absolutely awful. Worst ever! First of all we couldn’t find it! We ended up in an Aldi car park, along with a lot of other people also looking for the Orchard Theatre. Just unbelievable, no directions anywhere. When we eventually found it there was absolutely no parking anyway. The theatre itself looked like a large tin shed! Once inside it did not improve. The queues for a drink were impossibly long, so no chance there. I took a present and card for the person performing. This was dumped behind their reception desk and still there at the interval. My daughter managed to get it back! What a disgrace to just dump a present like that. We had traveled a long way to this theatre. Our seats were uncomfortable, the view from row U abysmal. I feel absolutely disgusted that l paid £200 , as this was part of my granddaughter’s 18th birthday present. I’m embarrassed to have taken my family to this place. I do understand that this is a temporary structure, but that does not excuse a very bad experience!
Written January 25, 2025
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
Rubliw
Rochester, UK11 contributions
Dec 2023 • Family
Okay, this is for the new theatre West. Let's just say we won't be returning. Went to the panto this afternoon and what I could see was good. Seemed much shorter than usual and extremely disappointed to see the panto dame was not there!! We were very close to the front and the seats are horrendous. A lady in front of my friend had her hair draped over the seat and pretty much resting on my friends knees as the seats are so close. We paid almost £200 for 4 tickets and we nearly left after 1 hour as a couple in front of us with a 2 year old got up and down, fidgeted, talked and were a right pain from the start. The man directly in front was big and as the seats weren't tiered I had a lovely view of his back and could only see by leaning!! They talked through 80% of the panto and even my children asked to leave as this family were a constant distraction.Next to them was a boy about 6 who decided to watch tik toks with the volume up then proceeded to strop when the parent eventually took it away.
A total waste of my hard earned cash.
Will not be returning.
A total waste of my hard earned cash.
Will not be returning.
Written December 23, 2023
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
Sylvia S
Maidstone, UK7 contributions
Jan 2025 • Friends
I am disgusted at the lack of response to my complaint. I had tickets to an event that had to be rescheduled because of illness, and despite assurances that tickets would be like for like, I ended up significantly further back. The only seats offered on the night were further forwards but on the outside of the row. I was given a manager's name to complain and haven't had the courtesy of a reply.
At the venue despite no cameras being allowed, mentioning to staff in the interval and being told they would intervene, most of the concert we had the distraction of people a few rows in front videoing with cameras held at head height.
Not a good experience all round.
At the venue despite no cameras being allowed, mentioning to staff in the interval and being told they would intervene, most of the concert we had the distraction of people a few rows in front videoing with cameras held at head height.
Not a good experience all round.
Written March 8, 2025
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
Sophia E
1 contribution
Dec 2021
There is such a wide range of entertainment at the Orchard that myself and husband can easily go once a month for something that we like.
However,as I discovered on my last trip to see That’ll be the day’ that I’ve always got to book early to try and get an end aisle seat as my knees were in such pain throughout the show. I couldn’t put my feet under the chair in front either. I turned round to see that a young man looked uncomfortable too placing his legs at an angle awkwardly. I’m only 5 foot seven and the seats are probably brilliant for children, but I’ve had better space in older ‘London Theatres’
I’ve been to the Orchard since it was built and have supported it more than any other Theatre. But I’m not liking the new layout of seating with less aisles and everyone having to stand up to allow the ‘latecomers from the bar’ to get to their seats.
Sorry to sound negative. Otherwise great shows and Staff.
However,as I discovered on my last trip to see That’ll be the day’ that I’ve always got to book early to try and get an end aisle seat as my knees were in such pain throughout the show. I couldn’t put my feet under the chair in front either. I turned round to see that a young man looked uncomfortable too placing his legs at an angle awkwardly. I’m only 5 foot seven and the seats are probably brilliant for children, but I’ve had better space in older ‘London Theatres’
I’ve been to the Orchard since it was built and have supported it more than any other Theatre. But I’m not liking the new layout of seating with less aisles and everyone having to stand up to allow the ‘latecomers from the bar’ to get to their seats.
Sorry to sound negative. Otherwise great shows and Staff.
Written January 15, 2022
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
Helen W
Maidstone, UK2 contributions
May 2023
Very polished performance of Annie last night considering a cast including children and a dog! Very easy parking in the multi storey opposite which only cost £1. Staff were very polite, showed us where to go and clean toilets. However the seats are TINY!!!!!!! I like the theatre including plays, musicals and talks. I've been to three performances in Chatham, Maidstone and London already this year and the seats in this theatre are by far the smallest. I'm a plus size woman but have never had trouble before. So many people were moaning last night and they weren't even what I'd class as plus size. One lady actually left in the interval and didn't return. I would not pay to visit again. Shame.
Written May 2, 2023
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
Teena2010
Kent, UK209 contributions
Mar 2022
We saw the Peter James Play , Looking Good Dead and it was really very good. Thoroughly enjoyed the show. The staff as we arrived were really friendly and helpful.
The Orchard overall however has really gone downhill recently. We arrived early as we were going to eat in the bar before the show. We always used to have a selection of their bar snacks and share them. They no longer do these though, the only option was a sausage roll or bowl of chips. So we chose a brisket burger and fries. I explained to the young guy at the bar that we wanted the burgers plain and he wrote it all down. The food took absolutely ages to come and when it arrived it had everything in it as it appeared on the menu, we sent it back and, of course, had another long wait for it to come. The waitress that brought the food plonked in down and disappeared, no cutlery, no serviettes, no offer of condiments or sauces. I then had to queue in the line at the bar for knives and forks - the burgers were so messy there was no way you could have eaten without them. The food was ok!! £38 for practically cold burger and chips and a few soft drinks I think is a bit steep.
The theatre was also really cold so if you are planning on going make sure to wear a warm coat. I felt disappointed after our visit as the Orchard used to be a really great evening out.
The Orchard overall however has really gone downhill recently. We arrived early as we were going to eat in the bar before the show. We always used to have a selection of their bar snacks and share them. They no longer do these though, the only option was a sausage roll or bowl of chips. So we chose a brisket burger and fries. I explained to the young guy at the bar that we wanted the burgers plain and he wrote it all down. The food took absolutely ages to come and when it arrived it had everything in it as it appeared on the menu, we sent it back and, of course, had another long wait for it to come. The waitress that brought the food plonked in down and disappeared, no cutlery, no serviettes, no offer of condiments or sauces. I then had to queue in the line at the bar for knives and forks - the burgers were so messy there was no way you could have eaten without them. The food was ok!! £38 for practically cold burger and chips and a few soft drinks I think is a bit steep.
The theatre was also really cold so if you are planning on going make sure to wear a warm coat. I felt disappointed after our visit as the Orchard used to be a really great evening out.
Written March 4, 2022
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews as part of our industry-leading trust & safety standards. Read our transparency report to learn more.
How long is the show and does it start at 7.30pm tonight?
Many thanks
Caroline
Written November 18, 2022
Hi the show started promptly. I think the show was about 2.5 hrs with a break.
Written November 20, 2022
Does anyone know how restricted the view would be from upper circle seats A5-6? Thank you
Written April 1, 2022
No sorry I don't, but there is a plan of the theatre on their webiste, I think
Written April 2, 2022
Does anyone know how many stairs there are to go up to get to the circle level please?
Written February 1, 2022
Hi, where would be best seats for small children, stalls or front of circle.
Thanks Louise
Written January 29, 2022
Stalls would be best I think. I have only sat in the circle once and that was with smallish children. There are a lot of stairs up to the circle and they get crowded at going in and coming out times.
Written January 30, 2022
What do you think of front row? I've booked seats A9 and A10 and my husband is 6ft3!! Didn't see reduced leg room anywhere until the confirmation email came through
Written April 26, 2019
I’ve booked seats for tonight but have spotted that better seats have since come up, can I upgrade when I arrive?
Written June 6, 2018
Why don't you ask them?
Written September 22, 2018
have a look on the web site or give them a call
Written April 5, 2018
Is your picture of your view? if so what seats were they please?
Written December 13, 2017
Normally we go for the premium seats I think row M but row H - J are really good too
Written December 13, 2017
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