What a disgusting place! First impressions are average at best, once you get past reception the reality hits you. The clientele were straight off the set of the TV show Benidorm, all we needed was Madge on her motorised scooter. Leather skinned fish wives with deflated breasts and bingo wings adorned every sun lounger and their Buddha bellied, hairy backed husbands in Union Jack shorts were always seen propping up the bar or eating burgers. The apartments were disgusting, filthy, smelly and should have been demolished years ago. Certainly nothing like the description on the web page. Four of us in our party, not a dark haired person amongst us, yet every day we were finding long black hairs everywhere - enough to make you vomit!! The bathroom was filthy with chipped and broken tiles, mildew and mould everywhere. The toilet seat was made of chipboard which had cracked, hence it had swollen because it absorbed 'moisture', none of us sat down on the loo all week. The cooking facilities were dated, dirty, inadequate and the bare wires and loose switches made us question heir safety. We planned to self cater but this all changed, we ate out every night as the thought of eating in this apartment turned our stomachs. The beds were old and filthy, the bedbugs were out in force and we all got covered in bites. More than a month after the holiday I'm still suffering from the bites, they really were vicious little critters. The pool was freezing - and I mean freezing - but after we saw some fat, lardy Geordie woman sitting picking the dead skin off her feet and flicking it into the water we decided the idea of a swim wasn't a good one.
I guess is you want to mix with Scousers and Geordies who all want to tell you where to get the best full English breakfast or which bar does the best bacon sandwich then this place may interest you. From what we could see the entire island was just the same. An absolute dump of a hotel and an absolute dump annex of Spain. Avoid it like the plague.
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- Also Known As:
- Apartamentos Los Tulipanes Hotel Puerto Del Carmen
- Apartamentos Los Tulipanes Lanzarote/Puerto Del Carmen