Overall, this resort is a perfect destination for the "tropical paradise" vacation variety. It's certainly the fanciest all-inclusive resort I've experienced so far. My girlfriend and I were there celebrating our 5th anniversary. We agreed it was a satisfying trip, and we wished we could stay longer. The rest of my review will proceed as lists of pros and cons.
+Our oceanfront suite (room 6023) gave us a beautiful view of the ocean and direct access to the beach via a side-door just outside the room itself. This room is in the far corner of the resort, so we even had a mostly-secluded section of the beach to ourselves. Every room has a hot tub with air jets.
+At the Grand Hotel, you get not one but two butlers - a morning butler and an evening butler. They are available 24 hours, but they don't bother you unless you ask for something. If you are celebrating a special occasion (like an anniversary), the butler will make up a special bath with rose pedals and champagne. The fridge/bar is stocked full of excellent drinks (rum, gin, wine, beer, soda, spring water, ice cubes) and is re-stocked every day. You can even customize it if you want. There is even a "pillow menu" with six types of pillows.
+The whole staff is just ridiculously friendly. I don't know how they maintain such enthusiasm for their jobs. I know they work at a beautiful vacation resort, but ANY job gets boring eventually. But everyone here is constantly happy - not in a fake and forceful way, but in a relaxed and chill way.
+The food is generally excellent for my taste. I like simple, flavorful food, and that's exactly what Jamaica is all about. The Jerk chicken is awesome...I must learn the recipe for that sauce. They have two buffet restaurants (one indoor, one outdoor beachside) and four fine-dining restaurants (Italian, Japanese, Surf and Turf, and French Gourmet). My favorite in terms of food was the Surf and Turf because I ordered filet mignon, and it was the most tender cut of steak I had ever eaten (but, to be honest, I don't eat steak very often). The Japanese is cool because the chefs are very entertaining as they cook the food in front of you, and they give personalized shout-outs to every guest. And that's to say nothing of the OTHER Iberostar hotels next door, which you also have access to as a guest at the Grand. I didn't even have time to visit those, but they are there and have their own restaurants.
+The entertainment group, called the Star Friends, is really cool. They play games on the beach and pool areas during the day, and every night at 10 pm they put on a show in the theater. The shows are solid! Most of them involve music and dance, but they also mix it up occasionally. For example, on Saturday they did a gameshow called Ideal Couple in which they brought four couples on stage to do funny/embarrassing activities. If you stay and linger at the Aqua Bar after the show, the Star Friends will hang out with you and make conversation. They do a really good job of pretending to be interested in everyone. I could almost believe they actually care about thousands of hotel guests at a personal level. Lol.
+The whole resort is filled with a distinctive Jamaican vibe. I really love their culture. It's so chill. You are always greeted with Hey Mon, Yeah Mon, No Problem Mon, Respect!
-The bad thing about room 6023 is that, being on the far corner of the resort, you can always see the security guards outside your room when you go out on the patio. Also, they were doing some construction on the building, so we constantly had workers outside our patio. It's awkward when you walk outside in just a robe to take in the beauty of the ocean sunrise...only to see workers and security guards walking directly in front of your patio. I can't really hold this against the hotel, as they need security and construction work, but nonetheless it slightly detracted from the experience. So THAT'S why they "upgraded" us to oceanfront...
-I found one small cockroach and one honeybee in the room. I was able to easily kill the roach with a slipper and wash the bee down the sink drain. I'm sure this is rare, and I was just unlucky.
-For some odd reason, the swimming pools close at 6 pm, and they don't allow women to go topless. This is an adults only resort...why not? (Perhaps some will say that's not classy; I will respond that you're a prude!)
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.