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“Forget about it!!!” 1 of 5 stars
Review of Germaine's Luau

Germaine's Luau
91-119 Olai Street, Kapolei, Oahu, HI 96707
(808) 949-6626
Website
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Book ahead on Viator
$80*
and up
Ranked #12 of 22 Activities in Kapolei
Type: Dinner Theaters, Performances
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Attraction details
Owner description: Aloha! Take in the rich cultural heritage of the Pacific Islands. Enjoy the spectacular Polynesian show delivered to you at the ocean's edge, under the stars and palm trees. Be touched by the magic of ancient Hawaii and all its splendor. Feel the spirit of Aloha, experience a Backyard-style Hawaiian Luau and discover why Germaine's Luau is "too good to miss." The night is filled with beauty, color, and excitement as our multi-talented kane (men) and wahine (women) take you through a non-stop, action-packed journey throughout the Islands of Tahiti, Samoa, New Zealand as well as the romantic hula of Hawaii. The evening also includes unlimited soft drinks, coffee & tea as well as 3 beverage coupons for all adults 21 years & older. Complimentary transfers from designated Waikiki locations are also available.
Santa Clarita, CA.
1 review
3 helpful votes 3 helpful votes
“Forget about it!!!”
1 of 5 stars Reviewed June 27, 2008

The food was OK but my wife got sick from it or the alcohol,she had 2 drinks and they were small.
The BIG problem were the flying insects that took the place over after dark, they chased many of us from our seats and we found them(ALIVE) in our clothes and hair after arriving back at our hotel.
The show was pretty good except several of the male dancers were WAY too white to be believable "native" dancers.
The place was kind of shabby and dirty.
The cold food didn't seem to be cold enough to be safe,hence the possible cause of my wife's illness.
All in all, I would save your $69 per person,I'm sure you will be happier,we would NOT a have done it if we had known what we know now.
We heard that Germaine's was the BEST,I would hate to see the worst!!!

TAH

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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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Seattle
1 review
5 helpful votes 5 helpful votes
“This Ain't The Discovery Channel”
1 of 5 stars Reviewed June 17, 2008

Do you enjoy the atmosphere at your local Chuck E. Cheese? Do you consider Bob Barker a national treasure? Do you wonder why reality television didn't replace those stupid scripted shows years ago? Then Germaine's Luau is the place for you. If, on the other hand, you are expecting an intelligent, reasonably authentic representation of Polynesian culture, then go elsewhere. Germaine's Luau is so over the top with gags, schtick, shmaltz and every other lame trick in the book that you'll soon forget it was supposed to be a cultural experience.

The fun starts when you board the shuttle bus outside your hotel. The host tries to whip the group into a frenzy right away by proclaiming, "this is the party bus! Par-TAY!" Enuf said. Upon arrival at the luau site, attendees are processed and photographed so that they can be sold pictures later on. Much has already been said here about the physical grounds. The bathrooms can be smelled all over the facility, the picnic tables are laid out Camp Runamok style, and the look of the place recalls Gilligan's Island.

As some point attendees are instructed to get in line for their buffet-style dinner on paper plates. The food is passable, but did the ancient Polynesians really eat fried chicken and pasta salad? Yes, you can get a plastic cup with poi in it, but the bus driver warns you in advance that you probably won't like it.

After dinner, the show begins. The show consists of a rockin' house band and an over the top emcee who talks like a game show host on steroids. He never stops yapping the entire night as he brings out dancers in supposedly authentic costumes to perform Hawaiian, Tahitian and other Polynesian dances. It all has the air of the Miss America talent contest - all form and no substance. That's not to say that the dancers themselves aren’t talented. The fire dancer in particular was outstanding. It's more that the dancers are being asked to perform cartoon versions of these ancient rites.

But before any dancers take the stage, volunteers from the audience are asked to come up and learn the hula. This is where the experience really takes on the vibe of a kids’ summer camp. The stage is soon filled with tourists wiggling to and fro while the shuttle bus hosts act as pseudo camp counselors offering advice and rehearsed jokes, all to the amusement of the remaining audience. It should be said that many seemed to enjoy these oddball antics, particularly kids, but anyone expecting a serious treatment of the native customs would find it at least a little demeaning.

On the bus ride back to the hotel, the host continues to talk the entire time “to keep the par-tay going” and makes a pitch for a gratuity. After that follows the life story of the host – which in some ways is the most authentic portion of the evening. For a brief tiny moment some truth is shared. But beyond that, there is little substance to Germaine’s Luau. It ranks as one of the least satisfying experiences of my life and almost spoiled the othewise pleasant memories of my trip to Hawaii.

Was this review helpful? Yes 5
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Northern, VA
Contributor
13 reviews 13 reviews
4 attraction reviews
Reviews in 9 cities Reviews in 9 cities
24 helpful votes 24 helpful votes
“My First Luau”
3 of 5 stars Reviewed May 29, 2008

This was my first luau ever and I'd have to say I was dissapointed.

My husband and I didn't go to the Polynesian Cultural Center like everyone else, b/c we read reviews that it's more of a "kid place", that has activities for them, and also b/c it's an all day-event, and we didn't have time for that. We strictly wanted a luaua and that's it. There were buses taking people there, but we had a car, so it took us 30-minutes to get there from Wakiki beach.

You get a "free gift" if you purchase in advance online, which consists of a backback full of goodies (which gave to my little cousins afterwards). I was rather dissapointed in the food, b/c I was expecting a huge variation at the "buffet". The food was okkk, and didn't get up for seconds, b/c the Kahula pig was way too filling. I'd have to say it wasn't authentic Polynesian food, except for the poi, which tasted like nothing. I recommend eating the poi along with something else, b/c it gives the food an extra texture. I didn't come back for seconds, and the dessert was just coconut cake and chocolate cake.

You get 3 tickets to buy drinks. Now, depending on the drink, it could require you a ticket and cash of your own. If you stick to the regular mixed drinks like Mai Tai or Margarita it'll cost you only 1 ticket. Pina Colada and wine will cost you extra money.

Overall, the entertainment seemed a little above average, but nothing too much to rave about. If you've never gone to a Luau this is a good opportunity, but I don't think I'd go back for a second time.

The nice thing about this place was the location. It was right next to the beach.

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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
De Soto, Missouri
Senior Reviewer
10 reviews 10 reviews
3 attraction reviews
Reviews in 8 cities Reviews in 8 cities
43 helpful votes 43 helpful votes
“not the best”
2 of 5 stars Reviewed May 24, 2008

We have been to a total of 3 luaus. We've been to the one at Sea Life Park, Feast at Lele's in Maui, & Germaine's. Germaine's was by far the cheesiest and least authentic feeling in my opinion. The food wasn't very good either. My husband and I didn't find it worth the money at all. We were disappointed.

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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Vermont
1 review
9 helpful votes 9 helpful votes
“Honest review - here's what to expect”
3 of 5 stars Reviewed May 16, 2008

We wanted to experience a Hawaiian Luau on our vacation. Pretty hard to get anything authentic because it's all tourists. There are a couple of large on companies out there, one is Germaine's. Wasn't quite sure what to expect. If you're interested, here's what you can expect at Germaine’s:

Advertised price is $69 per person. Pretty much the going rate but we found that if you call 808-924-0123 (www.enjoyoahu.com) you can get tickets for $59. They fax them to your hotel. You should reserve at least one day in advance since it fills up fast. Price includes the food, drinks, show, and transportation to and from the hotel. You get three drink tickets for alcoholic drinks. You can buy more with cash if you like. Soda and Iced tea were free.

They will mention a “secret” on the bus there that if you buy a souvenir 16oz glass in the gift shop ($8), you will get 16oz drinks rather than the 8oz drinks they serve normally. It is true, but by our observations, it didn’t appear that they were putting any more liquor in the drinks, just more mixer. Domestic beer is included, but wine costs extra. Mai Tai’s were pretty good.

The actual luau area is located on the west end of Oahu. It takes approx 45-60 minutes to get there from Honolulu with traffic. The return trip is around 30 minutes. You’ll depart in the 4:00 hour and return around the 10:00 hour.

If you’re driving, the luau site is behind all the refineries and the “trash to power” processing plant. Not an appealing place for a luau, but once you’re at the actual site, it’s nice. Right by the water. The signs are pretty small, and not obvious so get good directions. Since you’ve paid for it, I’d use their transportation.

The dining / show / drink area consists of the stage, then three rows of picnic tables, then the bar in the rear. Note that the front row of tables closest to the stage is very low. You essentially sit on your knees. I would estimate there are enough tables to seat approx 300 people.

Once everyone has a drink, they move you from the dining / show / bar to the area where they’ve buried a pig in the ground and cooked it. They go through the ritual of uncovering it, shaking the meat off the bone, then turning the metal basket that caries the carcass so that everyone can take pictures. Once the ritual is done, everyone moves back to the dining / show / bar area.

The tables are large picnic tables that hold about a dozen people comfortably. They have a band playing music and invite tables one or two at a time to the buffet to feed. Note they start from the outside in, so if you’re seated in the middle of the crowd (best view of the show) you eat last. The delay is approx 20 minutes as they work their way from tables on the edge to the middle.

Speaking of seating, if you want to take photos, you should sit up close. The lighting is dim so your photos will not come out well (flash only works for about 10 feet) if you sit toward the rear.

When it’s your turn to go up for the buffet, they give you a large paper plate to put your food on. Once all people have eaten, you can return to the buffet, where they give you a regular size paper plate, for as many refills as you want (fresh plate each time of course).

Buffet consists of average buffet food. Cooked some time before and heated on a steam table. They offered deep-fried chicken and deep-fried fish (now soggy from the steam table) as well as a beef with gravy dish (didn’t look bad) and the roasted pig. In addition they had garden salad, potato salad, and coleslaw. The slaw was warm since it was near the steam table. They have two dressings and one tartar sauce. Lots of people put tartar sauce on their salad since they think it’s a third dressing. Be careful.

Also the ads said they have “Lomi Salmon”. We looked for forward to a piece of salmon but as it turns out, it’s essentially a salsa made with small pieces of salmon. Wasn’t bad, but wasn’t what we thought it would be. They had their version of “chicken noodle soup” which was comprised of those Chinese clear noodles soaked in chicken broth.

Deserts were standard large industrial sized boxed sheet cakes (chocolate and vanilla flavors) as well as some traditional coconut pudding. By the way, coconut pudding is a natural laxative so don’t eat too much.

The show was pretty good. It’s clear that the do it every night. The tone of the MC is “tired”, but he is good at what he does. The dancers were nice looking and costumes were very nice and bright. The “flaming knife” dancer you’ll see on the brochure is a single dancer, on the stage for about 5 minutes twirling the “knife” around. Impressive, but I thought there would be several to make the show exciting.

They also use a couple of skits getting the audience up to participate in the show. It’s cute for a while, but after a while it gets lame.

Like cruises, they take photos of you as you get off the bus, then try to sell them back to you later. They run $20 for an 8x10 and a 5x7.

Once the evening is done, you get back on the buses and return to the hotel. Our bus happened to have a breakdown before we left so we had to wait by the trash plant and refineries for a substitute bus to show up, about 45 minutes. It wasn’t the luau company’s fault since they contact with a transportation company for bussing. The luau was nice enough to offer free soda, but not alcohol to make up for the inconvenience.

All in all it’s not bad. Not as “Hawaiian” as I expected. Pretty much just think of it as a regular dinner show with a buffet. Just mainstream, “pump them through the evening” handling. Fair deal for the price since it includes transportation, but nothing to right home about.

Hopefully this helps.

Was this review helpful? Yes 9
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.

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