If I could, I'd hold my nose as I type this review.

Rating on the basis of slot machines only, Potawatomi casino is the smokiest, smelliest, and worst paying casino I've ever been in, with the exception of Aztar, Carruthers, Mo.

They have mostly nickel video slots and quarter and dollar reel slots. No pennies or two centers. There are banks and banks of quarter slots that sit empty because the pay scale must be about 78%.

There are far too many machines that have 30 or 40 or even 100 lines. You can run through 20 or 30 dollars without ever getting a bonus. Of course, Indian casinos are not required to publish the payouts their machines are set at. I would venture to guess that they order the absolute lowest payback the slot machine company makes.

There are always people just plopped on the stools, not playing because they have long ago run out of money, and they are probably just waiting for the bus to take them out of the casino.

When I walk past the buffet, the smell makes me imagine all those old prison movies from the '30s. Awful! And there is no alcohol allowed on the casino floor, just in the restaurants.

The people working in the cages are usually blabbing a mile a minute to each other, and you have to tell them twice what denomination bills you want in change. They are too busy blabbing to pay attention.

And the worst thing? The Potawatomi are doing their absolute best to block the construction of a casino in Kenosha. Because they know that if it opened, more than half of their captive patrons would vacate the premises, never to return.

OK, I can recommend one and only one thing about this place, and that is the sports bar (which is separately owned and operated) The food is wonderful. Try the reuben sandwich. And you might consider splitting the sandwiches. They are enormous.