I will start off by saying that I had the worst waiter I have ever had anywhere in my entire life at the Mediterranean Table. I don't know what was wrong with the guy, but he acted like he had the heebee jeebies. I don't want to embarrass him or the owners, but he really needs to drop the third rate Bob Fosse act and ditch the hat. Also, he started out by apologizing for the crummy service he was about to give us by proclaiming that he was only the lunch guy. As I didn't notice there was a different menu for lunch and as the place only has 10 tables, I didn't understand what the problem was, but apparently there was one.
There were 5 of us in our party. 2 of us ordered the same thing. We were only served 4 meals. We had to ask for water 3 times. On the fourth try, we got 4 waters. One of our party spilled oil and vinegar on the floor. I made a bet the waiter would step in it. He did. And tracked oily footprints throughout the restaurant. When we pointed this out to him, he told us there were no worries as he'd clean it up later. I kid you not, Alan Aykcbourn could not have come up with a more absurd evening. One of my dinner companions is a playwright, and I'm pretty sure he's working on a first draft even as I write this. The experience got to the point where it just became funny.
Then there was the food. I could have forgiven the rotten service if the food had been better. It's not that it was bad, it was just bland. I had the souvlaki, eventually, and it was dry. The rice was only lukewarm. The problem with the menu is that while I know the Mediterranean extends from the south of France to Greece, the restaurant is decorated in Greek cafe style, leading me, a dumb tourist, to think that there will be a large selection of Greek entrees. Not so. Just one. Souvlaki. I don't really think of spaghetti and meatballs or a hamburger as being particularly Mediterranean. And the Provencal quote in the menu is not backed up by any Provencal food. Besides, the last time I checked, Marseilles is the only Provencal city on the Mediterranean.
Then there was the music. Oy. The decor of the place is pretty good, bright and colorful with lots of photographs of Greek islands and the like. However, a Dean Martin medley and Kenny Rogers greatest hits do not make me think of Santorini. The owner really needs to invest in a couple of CDs of Greek music. Or at least something European.
Now that I've trashed the service, the food, and the ambiance, I have to say that the owner/chef did the right thing. She comped us for one meal, gave us baklava at no charge, and dropped the corkage fee on the wine we brought in. So, kudos to her for trying to salvage a bad customer service experience.
I will return to the Mediterranean Table (if it's still there when I next go to Kanab), if only out of a perverse curiosity to see if there is any improvement. I mean, what are the odds that it will be this bad again? Besides, I honestly want this place to make it. I support local businesses, and I don't want to see one fail. However..., the owners need to take what works (the decor) and match it up with the menu and the ambiance. Oh, and either train the waiter they have (even if he is the lunch guy) or get a a new one. Even Manuel from Fawlty Towers would be an improvement.
I wish them luck.
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