Check-in was pleasant. The young lady at the desk, from No. Carolina, was sharp, funny, and friendly. It was late and she said there were only smoking rooms available. No problem. I asked to see the room, and when I checked #118, it seemed as if someone had taken a nap on the rumpled bedspread. She changed the key to Rm. 120. I took a casual look at the room, checked the bathroom for cleanliness, and we signed in.

I didn't turn on all the lights, just a lamp near the table, so I could set up my laptop. The hotel offered free Wi-fi, but when I tried to sign on there was only one network available, and it was "unsecured." Nervous, I called the desk, and was assured it would be okay for email.

I had no reason to turn on the light by the phone until I decided to leave a wakeup call. And when I turned on that light I saw the very phone that I had used earlier was so disgustingly filthy and encrusted in grime, that I never would have touched it had I seen it before.

Now I turned on all the lights and thought I'd be sick: Cobwebs hung from the ceiling and down the walls; the light switches and plate covers, hair dryer plug, hair dryer, and coffee maker were as filthy as the telephone. The top of a large covered panel on the wall near the entry door was covered with a quarter-inch of built-up dust, as were the bedside lamps. There were food wrappers behind the night table that separated the two double beds, and we didn't have to move the table to see this, since the table was several inches away from the wall. Both the "Do Not Disturb" sign and, ironically, the "100% Guest Satisfaction" card, which had been placed on the bedspread by the maid, were dirty and untouchable.

I walked down to the front desk to complain about all of this. The cheerful young woman had been replaced by an equally nice guy. He offered to change our room, but my husband was already undressed and in bed, and we had unpacked, so this was not an option. At my request, he came with me to the room, along with a replacement telephone, and he noted all the things I pointed out. He said he would take 20% off the bill, and that was all he was authorized, but he did hand me the General Manager's card and told me to call her, saying that he was sure she'd take care of the rest of the bill. The final indignity of the night was the hair on the pillowcase that I was about to put my head on.

Well, so much for "100% Guest Satisfaction". When I was finally able to contact the manager three days later and relayed all of the details, there was not a hint of an apology. She asked why we didn't get switched to another room. Then she asked me what I'd like her to do. I said I wanted the room comped. Her cold reply was that we had already been given a lower rate at check-in because of the hour, and then got a 20% discount. But she grudgingly stated that she'd take another 30% off the bill.

End of story. In my book, 50% off means "50% Customer Satisfaction." Stay at the Comfort Inn in Chambersburg, PA if you, too, want to be 50% Satisfied and 100% Disgusted.