We were in Maryland for a wedding1 and also visited some friends and relatives. I was really looking forward to some local seafood, but there was none: Louisiana crabs and oysters, Arctic Haddock, “Atlantic Cod” (not really), and salmon. What a disappointment! Other surprises included:  most restaurants close at 8 pm, when they would not be getting started well in Puerto Rico;  all seven times we drove more than an hour, we were in torrential rains;  no one in Maryland uses the correct glass for a gin-and-tonic, even bartenders;  “Crab Cakes” in all Maryland restaurants are not the real recipe, just crab pieces, pressed into a crab-cake shape, with a few bread crumbs on top (“Maryland Crab Cakes”?);2 and  “Maryland Chicken” does not exist.3
My wife’s cousin generously invited us to stay in her cabin on Chesapeake Bay. We took her out to Stoney’s on Solomons Island. She said the view was great, but the food less. I have forgotten our appetizers because they were so ordinary that no mention of them entered my notes. She and my wife had the crab cake2 and I had the Arctic Haddock. They were closing up and out of everything at 8:30 pm on a Saturday! They only fed us because they thought we were insane aliens. The ceiling of the restaurant was hanging with many, life-size, nicely carved, hanging sea birds. They were so life-like one feared their droppings. Nice view of the full moon over the Patuxent River.
Nice service, but they were obviously inpatient to close (racking chairs on top of tables). I do not know if we should have been grateful that they let us into the restaurant, when their few other patrons were leaving, or vexed that they hung around like vultures waiting for us to leave and closed up around us at 8:30 pm. They were out of everything, including the first five entrées and every side I tried to order. A seafood place out of cabbage slaw? They finally found some green beans (supposedly with almonds4) for us. The crab was good.5 The fish was only okay, with a bit too much breading and too little flavor.
Their impatience to close, lack of everything on the menu, rudeness in closing up around us, average food for the area, and being all but empty (only us) early on a Saturday night, do not bode well for this restaurant. I could not shake an eerie feeling that there was something very wrong. I have never left a restaurant before with the feeling that I was pleased to have escaped.
1The Opah, Lampris guttatus (Brünnich, 1788), served at the wedding was heavenly. The Venezuelan Chief incorrectly told me it was “Escolar,” which is Lepidocybium flavobrunneum (Smith, 1843), an oily, undesirable fish with purgative properties.
2A friend from Maryland gave me the same recipe once. All crab meat, no filler. This is really not crab cake. They should call it “crab pieces”, “Maryland Crab Cake,” or something.
3The same, crab-crazy, friend explained to us that there is no such thing as “Maryland Chicken” although it is on every restaurant menu in the state and beyond, on signs, and billboards (crab people appear to have an utter disregard of reality; living in their own little, paranoid world).
4As another reviewer commented, they were supposed to have been “green beans with almond slices, but there were no almonds.”
5“Maryland Crab Cake” seems to be the only thing that can be done properly in Maryland. Every restaurant has the same thing, exactly the same way. I suppose it beats pounding crabs.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.