This used to be Jumers. It certainly isn't what I remember. The room was large. The windows must not have been very good because I could hear the traffic from the street below. The room looked like it had been updated, but the bathroom didn't look like it had been updated. It was also very small. The towels weren't very white. There were some spots on the pillow cases. The hall and lobby had a musty smell. The front desk staff didn't seem to care and didn't even ask how I enjoyed my stay.

And so my friends, we find ourselves once again reveling in the annals of certainly the finest lodges in all the land. For not only do the comforts of their chambers ever so gently sooth away the perils of the day, but re-affirm us with ever abundant examples of sublime grace and existential outstandulence. Twas a bleak and dreary eve that led our illustrious company of three to Peorian soil and the doors of none other than the CASTLE LODGE HOTEL! So grand it’s facade and so great it’s might, that confoundeth be all who chance behold it’s eternal – AHEM - external glory. With open (albe them armor plated) arms and medieval charms, did it welcome us into its innermost chambers – replete with stained glass, bronze sculpures of long lost legend and forgotten lore, and a dimly lit library of nonsense and knowledge alike. So elated was I to have serendipitously discovered its likes, that I could hardly resist the temptation to ascend the top of it’s four story spiral staircase, and exalt its glory to all those who hear. But tired was I, so with subdued exuberance did I instead retreat to my room of rooms on the mezzanine level of the castle. !OH SHOCK AND DISMAY! – Is this the place wherein I must stay!? Much to my horror, I found myself suddenly confronted with the bowels of a slithy dungeon! Oh woe and dispair! – the smell of old smoke and funk doth fill the air! Thy linens be soiled and thy towels be stained, yet one sliver of hope for the night yet remained! So strideth I without delay to the front desk and complained.. WHAT YOU SAY!? Cried the desk clerk with unfettered frustration – How dare ye slander the fortress tall!? But without reluctance did he offer exchange, and protest he did not – as there were other patrons within earshot! As for the new chamber I did fear the worst, and its condition just barely exceeded the first. And sleepeth I not a wink, as the ice machine did haunt me throughout the night - or perhaps it was the ghost of Anne Boleyn (or was it Ronnie James Dio?). Alas, one can never be too sure of themselves in a place such as the PEORIA CASTLE LODGE HOTEL – but one thing my friends IS for sure. NEVER AGAIN will I chance upon it’s forsaken halls, for if I do, I shall not rest, and fatigue shall certainly come rapping upon thy door.
Ok - seriously now folks, this place is without a doubt the most depraved flophouse that I have seen in the last 2 years – and that’s saying something! You guys have got to get this one out of the system, as it is so much of a biohazard that if it were mechanically destroyed, it’s bits and pieces wouldn’t be legal for shipment in our cargo bins! I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed this review as much as I enjoyed writing it. Truthfully I really wanted to like the place, but it was filthy to a disquieting degree… Oh well – If you have any questions, feel free to contact me, and maybe we could meet up later to discuss the issue.. In the DUNGEON.

We went to Peoria for a weekend trip right before our weeding and stayed at this lovely hotel. I booked it through hotwire and had no idea what it looked like once I got the name. When we came around the corner of the street and saw it I was in love. It is a unique setting, mixed in with the vintage homes in the area. It is also located near a college where you can find great little restaurants and cafes as well as a few chains, but I would recommend eating at the German restaurant in the hotel. The staff at the hotel was very nice and accommodating. Our room was a little out of date but still very cozy and for 45$ a night at this great hotel we had no complaints. The restaurant was great, a bit confusing to figure out the front door location, but once in side you feel like you are in a German Castel. If you are afraid of staying there, at least drive by and have a peek.

No longer a Radisson. The charming Bavarian castle exterior and lovely grounds are merely a facade for a property that's filthy and in horrible condition. The towels in my room were dingy, frayed rags. The bedskirts had horrible stains. One of the pillows had what appeared to be bloodstains that showed through its threadbare case. The carpet was filthy and hadn't been vacuumed, and there was crud on the clock face. In room wifi wasn't available. This place obviously hasn't had a decent cleaning in years, and it seems the owners aren't investing in new linens. The whole place, from the dry crumbling, fountain to the non-working in-room wifi to the out-of-order hot tub to the burned out bulbs to the dank smell that permeated the building, gave the impression they're just renting out rooms till the bulldozers show up. This was, quite honestly, my worst hotel experience ever.