My recent visit to West Palm Beach (mistake number one) reminded me that even a pop star can fall by the wayside and require a place to rejuvenate, dry out, and become re-born. The Marriot West Palm Beach (Mistake number two) can best be described as the love child of a prison and a rehab facility with less than acceptable maintenance standards and very sub par food. One of those “off the side of the road” things, there is nothing interesting and pleasant about your stay here. From the sterile and uninteresting decore (complete with the top of the line popcorn ceilings) to the constant scent of sanitizing fragrance, you will immediately head to the door (as I did) and run home. I especially enjoyed the warnings on the walls that I should not hand my clothes on the sprinkler in the room...it was strange.
I think Marriots do a good job, but this one is by far the worst one I have stayed at. The lobby reminded me of a rehab hospital that was just missing big men in white coats and the occasional glimps of a Britney, Paris or even a Liza walking in a robe and wearing fuzzy slippers. Business needs are barely met, with a slower than you could imagine internet access and no fax or copy machine in site. Mind you the staff was wonderful and will bend over backwards to help you, but it all just seemed too much and way too many inconveniences for business people.
After arriving at 8pm and checking in, I headed down to the Bistro – a bar and restaurant all in one. Immediately I was in shock and awe. There was live music, a one man show complete with synthesized music and Frank Sinatra songs being sung by a young man who also accomplished 80's disco tunes. There was a table of about 15 woman from an ALL WOMANS baseball team – loud and obnoxious, to their right was a table of about 20 Marines – young men who ordered beers and rum and cokes and could not have been more gracious and gentleman-like. To their right was a table of about ten seniors who seemed frozen in time, spoons in their mouths, just waiting for someone to drop another nickel in their slot so they can be activated another ten seconds. It was sort of like a scene from the HBO series OZ with all the factions in the prison vying for power. (although I think the poor Marines were certainly conquered by the all woman’s baseball team members). The food was simply horrible – truly nothing fresh here. I ordered a Cobb salad my entire stay as I can do without the salt and sugar coatings that are normal offerings. (Although I do have to say that in Florida in general, finding good food even in Palm Beach or South Beach is nearly impossible - if your from the heratland you will love the food).
The room was filthy, with toilet gunk under the toilet seat from the last 27899 people that stayed in the room and the towels smelled like they were washed in water minus the detergent. The carpeting has seen better days, and the extra touch of an empty refrigerator and coffee maker in the room underscored the term trailer park trash. I imagined how I would wake up after an uncompfortable sleep, go to that bathrrom sink that 29766 people spit in, fill up my coffee pot and make coffee...I would feel like I was camping in New Dehli. The windows are filthy and needed a good washing. The hotel smells like a public bathrrom at an airport using way too much sanitizer. The patrons (apart from the Marines) are scarey.
The center courtyard does offer a fitness center and a very small pool that closes late at night. On my visit I spotted a group of men sitting at a table by the pool – all looking as of they had their motor cycles parked in the lot and just waiting for their chicks to come down from the room and do a strip dance on the table. They all wore sunglases at 10pm and just watched people move around, puffing on ciggerettes. It was all very scarey.
I had to make an escape. I tried to think about possibly riding on the top of a garbage truck in the morning or trying bribe one of those attendants with a $5 bill. Then I thought I should just check out and find a real hotel. I did. The very next morning after my horrible attempt at breakfast (Oatmeal was the only thing that was acceptable) which failed miserably, I left.
I would recommend This Hotel For:
Criminals on the run, members of motor cycle gangs, any and all gypsys, thieves and ladies of the evening, young adults in their 20’s, anyone who was captured by Dog the Bounty Hunter.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Enjoy various enhancements including a stunning guest room renovation inspired by the tranquil lifestyle and vibrant colors defining the West Palm Beach, FL, destination. Conveniently located near CityPlace, Kravis Center for Performing Arts, Cruzan Amphitheatre, Downtown West Palm, Palm Beach County Convention Center and Palm Beach International (PBI) Airport, our West Palm Beach hotel appeals to leisure and business travelers alike. Appreciate deluxe accommodations and unique amenities at our Marriott hotel in West Palm Beach, FL, including high-speed internet, complimentary airport shuttle and on-site parking. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Marriott West Palm Beach Hotel West Palm Beach