We stayed at Old Key West, and I was wondering why my wife would book us in here. It's not like I'm a Parrothead kind of guy. But what
I was picturing (a place with narrow, crowded streets, overrun with six-toed cats and drunken authors) was not in fact what materialized.
My wife booked a studio room that lists out at nearly 350 bucks a night, for our mini-vacation. We got a better deal than that, but still, this is not an inexpensive place.
But, we got upgraded...
To a two-bedroom Villa that lists out close to 700 bucks a night.
Specifically, room 3624 of Old Key West (copy & paste these numbers into Google Earth or Google Maps to see the precise location of our suite: 28.372169, -81.534128)
When we got into our suite I thought I had died and gone to hotel heaven. I've made it quite clear in past reviews that I simply LOATHE
"luxury hotels." It isn't because I hate luxury, or that I'm just too
much of a peasant to enjoy the finer things, it's that I don't consider luxury hotels the slightest bit luxurious.
Marble & granite don't impress me. I've installed, cleaned, & restored them, so they have no mystique to me. Nor do gold-plated elevators. I ain't sleeping on the elevators. And I hate tiny, overpriced rooms where everything a normal person needs is unavailable and/or costs an arm & leg. Being in such a place makes me wonder why I left home to spend money on being inconvenienced at a place I don't like as much as home.
OK, enough about what I don't like. Time to talk about what I do like.
So, what's so darn great about a two-bedroom villa at Old Key West? Lessee. First, unlike many Disney hotels, it's extremely car-friendly. Pull up to your building, you're one to maybe six parking spaces and a flight of stairs away from your room door.
Second, the living room / kitchen. Don't picture a kitchen that's been crammed into a living room. It's merely the lack of a wall between the two rooms that makes me report them as one. The LR has a three-seater, queen-sized sleeper couch, a two-seater loveseat, a nice fat chair with an ottoman, a dining table with four chairs, and plenty of room to walk around besides. I reiterate, TEN people can sit comfortably in the living room, and nobody is tripping over someone else's legs to get to the bathroom or the fridge.
Speaking of the fridge, it's full-sized. Not apartment sized, not dorm sized. Full sized. "Can hold groceries for a week's stay for a family of six" sized. Also full-sized were the range, microwave, dishwasher, clothes washer, clothes dryer, HVAC (real, ducted central
heat & air) coffeemaker, toaster, blender, two-compartment sink, the full set of dishes for 8, the pots & pans (including baking & 9x13 lasagna pans, etc.)
Wow. When is the last time you stayed at a hotel where you could seriously consider making cookies from scratch, roasting a turkey, making spaghetti, cooking bacon, eggs & pancakes for breakfast, and it was not only possible but almost easy?
Oh, but I gush on over kitchen gadgets. Back to the LR. Of course it has a TV with cable to go with the seating for 10. It also has a double-door cabinet 5 feet wide and 2-1/2 feet deep, for storing your luggage & large bits of whatnot. Off the LR is the 9' x 13' balcony with four chairs, a table, a ceiling fan, a view of palm trees, a large pond, and ducks playing tag with each other. This balcony is as large as some hotel rooms I've stayed in.
The Master suite features a 17' x 15' bedroom w/ king bed & large nightstands on either side; a two-room bathroom: one with whirlpool tub and pedestal sink, the other with toilet, sink with plenty of counter space, and standing shower big enough for two, (wink wink, nudge nudge) and a room that's bigger than most hotel bathrooms that just houses the washer, dryer, ironing board and iron with very long cord.
That would certainly be enough, wouldn't it?
Almost completely wasted on us was the other bedroom suite, measuring
roughly 18' x 14' (on average - room wasn't square, I didn't bring a protractor,) featuring two queen-sized beds.
(That would be a total of 1 king, 2 queens, and a queen fold-out couch, in one hotel suite - there's room for eight to sleep very comfortably. If you're traveling with a large brood, or another family, or several other couples, this place is the way to go.)
The other suite features a slightly less opulent bathroom, "merely" featuring toilet, full-sized tub/shower, and expansive countertop & sink. Just like my bathroom at home except a bit bigger. OK, perhaps a lot bigger. And with a lot more counter space.
There are other features, such as:
- enough cabinets and closets to make sure you never have to even think about living out of your suitcase.
- a folding yuppie baby crib (stored in master bath closet - yes of
course the master bath has a closet.)
- a small in-room wall safe with actual key (Medeco brand lock, which is important because it means no employee or passerby would be able to take the key home and have copies made at the local hardware store or locksmith.)
- "Little" things like a laundry basket, bucket, mop, broom & dustpan, and yes, a full-sized, commercial vacuum cleaner, in the front closet. If you're here for a while with your family, there will be a spill here and some laundry to do there. Ain't it nice to just take care of it, rather than have to call the front desk and explain how your four-year-old ralphed in the kitchen and
spilled the whole box of cheerios into the carpeting, then wait for some poor maid to have to deal with your mess?
OK, enough about the room, and on to the little touches:
I know this part is not like genuine concern, caring, or a handmade present from somebody who cares about me and my wife in the depths of their soul, but rather just good marketing. But...
At some point in time during reservations or check-in or sometime in there, we must have mentioned it was our anniversary. We get back to the hotel after the first day, and there's a little bouquet of three balloons, with "congratulations" and "Happy Anniversary" printed on them, and a picture of Mickey & Minnie Mouse signed by, well by some hotel employee obviously, but ostensibly Mickey & Minnie, personally to the wife and me.
Again, I know it's just marketing, but it was as close to actually sweet as a curmudgeon of my caliber could stand.
Downside / bad things: Uhm, not a lot, actually. If I paid full retail for the room I'd have wanted a private butler or something, but for the money we spent, this was just fantastic. I guess if I had to complain about something, the toilets were pressure-assist models that made a bit of noise on refill (that's room 3624, I couldn't tell you if the ones next door did.) If you have trouble with stairs, ask for a room on the ground floor, there isn't an elevator.
All in all: Best hotel ever, if you're anything like me. However, if you actually _like_ being on the 27th floor of the shiny building, calling room service every time you get hungry, waiting around for the train or the bus or paying 25 extra bucks to park your car again when you get back, well you'll just hate this place, even though I'm sure you can room service if you want, and there is public transportation available, just like everywhere else at Disney.
On the way in, a stop at Albertsons, 12981 S Orange Blossom Trl
(28.377414° -81.403025°) can get you all the food, soda, beer, etc. you need for your stay. There are a dozen restaurants, a pharmacy, gas station, Target, etc. at the same tollway exit. There are also a thousand other stores you could go to, this happens to be the one we went to, and it had everything we needed and was on the way from the airport.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.