I don't typically write hotel reviews, but I felt compelled in this instance. I should also note that I live in NYC, and am used to spending a lot on food and drinks. In that context, I will say it's been a long time since I felt like I was being ripped off in such a consistent and blatant manner:
1) We arrive at the hotel. We check in. We are given the room key to our "junior suite". The "junior suite" is in fact a rectangular room with a small couch in the corner and a bed. It's slightly wider than their "standard room". Eden Roc, have you recently flipped through the dictionary for the definition of "suite"?
2) Upon check-in, we are informed that there is a $25/day "resort fee". The "resort fee", which was implied to be mandatory, includes such "perks" as access to 2 beach towels per day, 2 generic bottles of water, and wi fi in the hotel lobby. Eden Roc, has anyone mentioned to you that every single hotel with a pool provides pool towels for free, as part of the room rate? And if you are going to insist on charging for the use of such towels, please kindly make sure they don't have holes in them.
3) As part of the check-in process, we are also given complimentary "welcome drink" vouchers. Later that day, we redeem our vouchers. 2 of the 4 "complimentary" drinks ordered are "specialty", which we are told will cost 'a few bucks extra." We then get a bill for $22, which apparently includes $6 surcharge for each "specialty" drink, plus tax and tip for all of the drinks. Eden Roc, is this how you welcome all of your guests?
4) There is no regular parking space. You have to make use of their $35/day valet service, which requires a 15 minute wait very time you would like to access your vehicle
To be fair, the hotel does have some positive attributes:
1) Modern, streamlined decor. It was recently renovated, and is generally clean
2) The location is relatively relaxed. It's a bit out of the way though, so a rental car is recommended if you want to explore Miami / South Beach
3) There is sufficient outdoor pool / lounge space such that you don't feel the need to snag spots early in the morning