If you are in the mood for a Dexter-themed Miami experience then this is the place. The interior of the hotel reeks of industrial cleaner and whatever it is (lye perhaps?) that is used to dissolve bodies. There is easy water access too if one needs to dispose of any un-dissolvable body parts. If you are not a serial killer and/ or don't want to live like one, however, then this is not the hotel for you.
We received a handicap room on the first floor overlooking the parking lot and highway, even though neither of us are paraplegic...nice touch, I guess. The window was the size of the a basement window--but, whatever, there was nothing to look at besides the parking lot anyway.
I think the staff may have been lobotomized. They couldn't answer any questions for us and when I reached in to grab a glass of water one of the staff actually barged in front of me to serve himself. Um, did he forget who was the guest?
When we checked out they tried to stick us with a resort fee even though it's not a resort guys! Who the hell do they expect to fall for that? If you want any amenities you have to walk under the highway and across the street to The One hotel. The whole weekend we had to skulk over to the One, ashamed, as if were were homeless street urchins asking for scraps of food and the milk of human kindness.
All in all, this hotel only appeals to two types of people: serial killers and trolls. I say trolls because the hotel is pleasantly located right under the "bridge" of the main highway.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Luxury Boutique Hotel just steps from the Bal Harbour Beach, offers exquisite and over-sized Suites ranging from Junior Suites to One and Two-Bedroom Suite accommodations. Suites are equipped will full kitchens featuring Kitchen-Aid appliances, living/dining room, walk-in closets and dual private balconies. Bathrooms are tastefully appointed with imported granite countertops and modern glass bowl sinks. High-quality bedding linens. Consistency and excellence in guest services is our main priority. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Bal Harbour Quarzo Hotel Bal Harbour
- Bal Harbour Quarzo Florida