warning : anyone going to full moon party from samui be careful about getting home after the party - this message im about to post now highlighting the sheer stupidty and danger of thousands trying to leave a small island at the same time !

. its a fight to the death in pitch black waters to get back on those dangerous speedboats . bear in mind its pitch black , everyones messed up , tired , been drinking and drugs are freely available to all , its dark , 4am , your in a foreign country in the sea 300m from shoreline up to your neck fighting with shouting angry mobs , dog eat dog style to get on a speedboat , people crying and screaming. just read that bit again . yes shocking .

you have to see it to believe it its so dangerous as thousands of people invade a tiny remote island for a few days leading up to big night on hundreds and hundreds of boats , then most want to leave within a short time window of say 2-5am . impossible . talk about voilent bottleneck . many fist fights , police 'observ' dont intervine [i took their pics and asked them why they watched this go on , i thought i was going to get done in and my camera taken by the cops for the audacity they followe dme for a bit but i stuck with the crowds and moved away from them . there have over the prev seasons been numerous known deaths at partys , anything valuable [cams ipods phones] will be ruined you have to wrestle with people NECK HIGH at night in seas and still dont get on . we where in water for 4 hours . this is no exageration . if you go dont expect to get back anytime reasonable you are stuck on a exotic island so get a room way in advance it gets full , and go back next afternoon . stay in phangan for the night dont try and get home , you wont . you will have to either 1) go into dangerous water , bravest 15 people each time get on boat and there are THOUSANDS . 2) wait at least a 4 or 5 hours till crowds die down . 3) get everything valubale ruined . 4)be in amongst many fights as 'messed up' people get irate at the scenario . there is no organisation . if your a decent lad youll get on after an hour maybe , but if you are with your girl , kids , smaller people , noon agressive people , they wont get on gangs of lads fight people for a jump into the tiny boat .

then the finale , there always has to be one !!! the boat owners grab 15 people pull em onboard , then hit the people grabbing rails with objects poles liferafts , anyhting , to let go of boat cos hundreds are invading the sides like pirates , then they fire up the MASSIVE outboard engines!!!!!! these multiple outboard engines are serious horsepower things not tiddly engines . once fired up as a final 'spit in the face' so to speak they turn the engine in your direction which could rip off limbs in the water , rev the engine maxxed out which causes HUGE sprays at everyne who move fast . as a FU back , people then chucked bottles at the boats cos they couldnt get on . this went on for 4 hours and each time the boat coes in the arms of thousands swap the boat so next time it doesnt come as close to shore this time , this goes on till eventiually your maybe swimming 500m out in the sea hoping to be 'next on / furthest out /dumbest person' , while the thousands look on in the waters behind - ony the bravest party goers get home , the rest then turn on each other in frustration ;-s

after 4 hours of trying to get on paid for speedboats , we paid a new guy in a long boat to take us back to samui as there where thousands of poeple still 4 hours later . this itself was probably stupid too longboats are local fishing craft [i dare call them boats , and their engines are like on a model boat!] . needless to say the 10 of us where horrified by what we encountered in a longboat all the way thru choppy open seas to get off the island back to samui . this cost us about £25 each or something , probs more . i do know we where desperate and he could ask what he wanted and we bartered hard . it was one of the scariest moments of my life , 'help me' was written in big letters accross everyones face on that boat we thought we where about to drown/be eaten by sharks at sea . everyone on the boat had all cams phones etc totally ruined from standing in seas in phangan for 4 hours , and then getting on the return replacement boat we sat in the longboat for the trip from hell for about 45 mins , soaked from head to toe all new clothes ruined from saltwater in this crappy coconut carrier from hell . people got off in samui shaking crying , white and cold , and relived to be alive . a last twist was yup out of pocket AGAIN as we now had to pay for fresh taxis to get us back to our resorts at the other end of the island . if i was a cat one of my nine lifes was used getting home that nite .

even the party , while good to experience , was full of every muppet from miles around and hardly brilliant . it was good , worth going if you get it sorted properly with accom , but it was hardly amazing , just ok not great . i felt like it was more like some half term break time in miami full of college kids not real clubbers or travellers . and the music was crap , obvious crap funky house anthems , poor DnB , formulaic trance . nothing cool electronic deep techy or underground house , nothing cafe del mar y , just crap haha .

this was aug 2006 , its now jan 2008 and ive hardcore clubbed it for 20 years all over the world and this was possibly the worst nite out of my life when it should have been one of the best solely for the return home phangan-samui . with a few people forming orderly ques all this is simple to avoid . sadly in phangan they would rather people fought with each other to get home than que while the lazy ass thai cops eyed up some rave eye kandi , instead of running a tight safe beach . we que for everything back home , tedious as it is , its a simple system we like , and one that works for all people . in summary dont use the speedboats to travel there on the night and to return home youll be stranded . stay or use the guaranteed big ferry which leaves at 7am , or stay there in a hotel . you cant imagine how many travel and keep arriving for days to attend and on the night the sea is full of craft its like grand central NY