It's not often that I get to write a REALLY bad review of a hotel these days, so I must admit to enjoying writing this.
The Best Western Panamby markets itself as an "airport hotel" close to Garrlhos airport (The main international airport in Sao Paulo), in reality it is way too far away from the airport with a cramped and erratic transfer service. We left the horrors of the airport arrivals process (US style marshalls, immigration, slow baggage and excessive customs and agriculture department controls - in fact just like Miami Airport for international arrivals!) at 07:30am and proceeded to locate the courtesy coach to the hotel. Basically, all hotel coaches operate from Wing D(read "Zone D" in english). Exit the airport building and turn right and walk to the END of the airport building.
We reached the pick-up area at 7:50am and eventually, asking various other hotel bus drivers we established that the Best Western also used this zone and that he would be there around 8:30am. After and 11 hour flight from Europe, this seemed to be pushing things a bit far but we sat down and waited.
After a while, a Best Western rep called "Eduardo" showd up to say that the bus would be here shortly, did we havea booking etc? I now realise that the function of Eduardo is basically to ensure that nobody leaves the bus stop and "keep the troops happy" while the hotel sorts out transport. This "he is nearly here" routine continued until around 8:45am when (having seen every other hotels bus pass at least twice) he came up with the greatest line I have ever heard "the bus is at the traffic lights at the end of the terminal" - needless to say, it took until 09:10am for the bus to arrive - either the slowest lights in Brazil or a lie (I leave you to decide which).
By the time the coach had arrived, there were some 5 people waiting for it. However, when it arrived it was almost full (I have no idea where these people had boarded it - I suspect from another of Sao Paulo's multiple airports). Anyway all children under the age of 14 were doubled-up as two per seat and the bus (a Ford Transit) left with 13 people onboard plus so much baggage that it was literally on top of any "free" adult. The minibus took 30 minutes to reach the hotel in heavy traffic, we drove past the Marriott among others.
Knowing there would be a line, I left my baggage on the bus and rushed in to check-in first, much to the disgust of the driver. When we finally made it to the room it was already 09:45am - ie nearly two hours from landing and leaving the airport.
The room was frankly disgusting. Ok, it is a cheaper option in Sao Paulo (we only planned to be there until 1pm of the same day to shower and repack bags) but even so - not since a grimy Ramada Inn in Fort Lauderdale have I stayed anywhere so awful. The furnishings smelt and the sheets were damp. More worrying our balcony (views of the pool) was full of excrement. I don't mean a few discreet ones., I mean huge piles of bird excrement, obviously accumulated over several months. I have taken a photo to prove how awful this was. We chose not to open the window for health reasons.
We went down the pool (clean but very cold) and swam before ordering some sandwiches etc at the poolside. This took 45 minutes from order for a pizza (frozen pizza with tinned mushrooms on top), a chicken sandwich and a burger.
The food quality (pizza apart) and the breakfast buffet (from what I could see) was adequate but nothing amazing. The hotel is next to a massive highway so there is considerable noise and pollution. The only positive thing about the whole property was a receptionist called Paula who was very helpful. Hopefully she will move on to better hotels and be able to put this dump behind her.
So in resumen, if you are looking for a quick pit-stop with regular transfers to/from the airport - the transfer (lack of) service makes this impossible. The rooms are awful, there is bird poo on the balconies, noise and air pollution all round the hotel but the staff are pleasant (albeit slow). Recommend this - only as a place to commit suicide - but it might take them several months to find the body! If I were Best Western I would pay these people to remove my name from their franchise..