The first, let's say, challenge about this hotel is finding the reception desk! It is one floor up a small unmarked staircase after entering what appears to be an abandoned lobby. (Well, actually it IS the former lobby of what was probably once a grander hotel.) Even the elevators were hidden behind a huge wall, and we felt like morons as we walked around knowing we were in the building and that the hotel had to be there somewhere!
This hotel is in a great location, I should mention, and the rooms have a lovely view over a beautiful plaza near the old town and overlooking the split marina. Of course to see that view you had to stand on a chair, since some bright architect put the windows up at about 2 meters high. The drawback to that great location is that you get to hear the 100-decibel church bells chime at 6 a.m. If you do not have earplugs you will not sleep at this hotel (well, unless you like to wake up at 6 a.m.).
The staff was pretty unfriendly, but once again that is because this was obviously a communist government-run yugoslav setup at some point, fully equipped with those funky huge round lightbulb covers everywhere and bad wood panelling. The beds were incredibly uncomfortable and the bathroom a bit dirty and majorly out-of-date.
I guess the highlight of the hotel is the outlandish decor. It is truly tacky and not on purpose in a wannabe retro kind of way. This is true kitsch homespun from people who really did have bad taste, especially the hideous wallpaper in the hallways. The rooms did have a slight "i'd rather leave my clothes on while sitting on the bedspread" feel to them, and i think i've never witnessed such a thick and putrid layer of bird doo-doo on a window ledge in my life.
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