Okay, my wife and I just got back from a week at Club Med Luxour.
Before I go any further, I'd just like to point out that we were there on a 'special deal' thanks to the nature of what my wife does for a living, which is why the 'Value' rating is so high.
Anyhoo, we got there pretty late on our first night because we travelled from Cyprus to Cairo, Luxor and then on to the Bella Donna. After entering through the high security metal detector - which bleeped alarmingly every time anyone went through it - we were made very welcome by the chap on reception who gave us a local fruit drink, the appropriate key and then announced that the bar was about to close, (the only time it was open until 1am the whole time we were there). So, having hastily procured some refreshment we were shown to our room, via the scenic route, dumped our bags and sat outside for a while enjoying the calm surroundings and the cool night air.
It has to said, the room was very nice (for the two of us), clean, cool, everything worked and suited us just fine. One advantage of it's position meant that as soon as our very friendly waiter Mohammed worked out our movements and habits, we didn't even have to order anything anymore, he just brought coffee when he saw us appear in the morning, mint tea in the afternoon and something a little stronger in the evening - Cool eh?!.
Speaking of 'something a little stronger in the evening', it was a bit difficult getting a steady supply of drink outside the bar area. Most nights there seemed to be only one chap behind the bar and just one waiter, who was a nice fella but seemed to get more infficient as the week went on, and by 11.45 he was calling 'last orders'. I'm not suggesting that we're a pair of drunks but it would have been nice to have been given the option!.
Not being there for the table tennis/water polo/aqua gym or even visiting large edifices, we retired each day to a delightful spot in the gardens overlooking the Nile to monitor the river traffic, drink mint tea and on one occasion enter into lengthy and potracted negotiations for a trip on a Felouka. This I organised to coincide with the setting sun, which was lovely. The bit that wasn't so inspiring was a brief visit to what our slightly shady guide, Mohammed, described as 'an island containing a crocodile farm'. Upon dissembarking the Felouka we quickly realised that what we were visiting was neither an island nor a crocodile farm, it was in fact a small banana plantation at one end of which stood a small concrete and steel re-bar enclosure containing a crocodile about two feet long and completely inanimate. The poor thing was either supremely bored, very uncooperative, made of fibre-glass or dead, we couldn't work out which but a couple of bananas later and my refusal to pay a single cent more for this vastly dissapointing excursion we boarded the Felouka and headed back to the pradictability and safety of Club Med.
The first couple of mornings we sampled the breakfast buffet, at which the only hot - or at least in our opinion - edible offerings were fresh scrambled eggs or an omellette, which we quickly tired of and gave up on, choosing instead to lie in until lunch was served.
Lunch, oddly enough, seemed to offer more choice than the dinner buffet and we managed to sustain ourselves quite nicely on various salads, fish, tagines and kebabs etc. But for dinner we did begin to struggle a little to actually find enough of something to fill a plate or indeed a medium sized stomach. At one point I was very tempted to take a bite out of the sculptured butternut squash and down a couple of the hard boiled eggs made to look like baby chicks (of all things) but I suspected the very talented Turkish chef wouldn't be best pleased, so I had another kebab instead.
Here's a tip for you; mention that you've heard of their caramelised bananas 'through the internet' and you'll get a huge plate full!.

On the Friday night we were visited by a group of excellent travelling minstrels, featuring a 3 piece Egytian band (Riq, Doumbek and keyboards), three male Egyptian dancers and a belly dancer (who wasn't great, but she looked nice) who together put on a great, if short lived little show, being a drummer myself the Doumbek player was of particular interest to me, he was brilliant!...made my day. There was no more live entertainment for the rest of the week. I kept getting excited when the word 'Event' appeared on the 'Your week' board, but alas, nothing else happened. On the plus side though, we made it out just before the Karaoke night!.

All-in-all it was a pleasant experience, the staff were friendly (if a little sycofantic at times) and most days outnumbered the guests by about 3 - 1, owing presumably to the duration and frequency of the tours. One girl in particular, Alia, made us feel very much at home - once we'd helped to sort her life out and I'd spoken to her Mother, Fatima - and was very helpful and charming, in fact we're still in touch with her.
TIPS:
If you like coffee, get it from the bar.
Take the walking tour into Luxor, especially at night. In fact, take all the tours.
Don't let anyone say "Bonjour, bon appetite" to you more than 3062 times.
If you take a sail on a Felouka, ignore suggestions that have the words 'crocodile', 'farm' and 'island' in them.
Don't bother putting your towels in the sink as directed because you'll get brand new, lavishly sculptured ones everyday anyway.
Drink lots and lots of water.

Its Club Med; its the same better than average everywhere and in Egypt thats a good thing. The staff were a good mixture of local staff and european GO imports. It has been refurbished reasonably recently; the single restaurant is indoors for lunch and open air at night. Being club med its the usual buffet with lots of choice; though the have kept their standards which for a buffet are quite good. The location is good you can walk to Luxor Temple in about 10 minutes, and the Luxor Museum is not much further away.

My room was large; though it was very dark at night with not enough light; though that might be because i had been outside in a dessert all day and had no night vision but i would have prefered extra lighting.

My nile view was everything i would have hoped for and i was able to watch the sun set from my balcony each night. Its another hotel where the power socket was not at desk level which is a shame.

Its very french, even the in room TV didnt have any english channels (despite the listings saying they had BBC worldwide; it seemed to have Aljazeera instead. I was the only english guest, i had pre-booked the tours to Karnak and the west bank and to accommodate me the club sent me on a solo english tour with a guide which was a very good way to treat me.

The pool was very clean and a nice diversion from the extreme heat (it was 34 Celsius at night.) The only real downside for me was the non functional internet access which the staff just shrugged their shoulders over.

Club Med Luxor – Villa Bella Donna

We stayed here for five great days in mid September 07. The place grew on us as the five days progressed. We arrived very early in the morning and were, at first sight, a little disappointed by our room, which had a view of the Nile (Room 172) – it was a little small and dark and, despite claims that the ‘village’ had been entirely refurbished, was tatty in places. However, in the morning when we awoke and opened the curtains to see the Nile in all its splendour with hot air balloons being launched on the opposite bank, our expectations and spirits rose enormously. The setting is superb as the village is set back from the Nile bank by a private quay and the club’s garden. Other hotels along the river push right up to the Nile and some have their swimming pools so close to the Nile steamers’ landing areas the hotel guests must be breathing in diesel fumes for most of the time.

The grounds are well laid out with its fabulous pool and swim-up bar at its heart and overlooking the Nile. The pool is better than at Columbus Isle, Kani (Maldives) and Le Riad (Marrakech). At this time of year there were only about 30 guests staying and so we had the place much to ourselves and enjoyed the personal attention of the GO’s and other staff. It really is a friendly village and we were on first name terms with everyone. One major strength of the village is the friendliness and ambience created by all the staff from chefs and cleaners to Abdou and his team in the Office. Valérie Berthon, Chef du Village, was on leave but her team managed well in her absence, especially Moussa, Geraldine, Chouchou, Corrado and Aurelie. Moussa clearly has the potential to be a future Chef du Village for Club Med as he was very polite, charming, well organised, approachable and helpful. He was also in charge of sports and ran the daily aqua gym sessions.

The village is ideally placed for all the key sights – Luxor and Karnak Temples, Luxor Museum, the Valleys of the Kings, Queens and Nobles, etc. and the visits arranged through the club’s excursions’ office are excellent – if pricey! Our guide for all our trips ‘Ali’ was brilliant – very knowledgeable, had a good sense of humour and was ready to involve you in the ‘story’ of the locality. On each trip there is an unannounced diversion to a local trader or specialist eg. selling alabaster carvings or perfume oils. Very few people on these visits were tempted – these trips seemed ‘unofficial’ as we were not told about them before. Some of the guests took the whole day trip to Cairo to visit the national Archaeological Museum (Tutankhamen), a mosque and the Pyramids and Sphinx of Giza. It was going to be a long day including a flight to Cairo but we chose to miss this one out for another time. Those that went said it was fantastic but very tiring.

It is much cheaper to organise the trips yourselves, if you are of a mind to. For example, we arranged a boat trip down the Nile to Luxor Museum and back (half a day) for less than half the price charged by the excursions office. The caleche (horse and carriage) trip to see Luxor at night is fascinating as you see Luxor from many different angles including driving through the night souks. As we were in Egypt at Ramadan the town came to life at night. Moussa accompanied us on this visit and his presence was reassuring as, at times, you were literally cheek by jowl with local people at night, especially in the souks. Try the Coucher du Soleil’ felouque trip which takes you up the Nile as the sun is setting which provides spectacular views of the locality including the opposite bank where life seems to have been frozen in time with children rowing boats onto the reed beds to cut reeds for their animals. The herons along the river are plentiful and beautiful. On the Club Med quay is a felouque owner, Captain Ali, who is really friendly and engaging – ask for him to take you down to Luxor or for the setting sun trip in his felouque called ‘Sara’.

There is only one restaurant but it is run by a very friendly team of chefs and the Chef de Chefs was charming and keen to please. The range of food was wide and of good quality – if anything it could be more varied in style. Though every evening was a different themed event in the restaurant, there was little difference from one night to the next. The caramelised bananas are to die for! Particularly good waiters were Hassan and Montesar. Hassan was very helpful in ensuring that we had a table for two each evening. At last – a Club Med village that appreciates that, at times, people want to eat as a couple in a more intimate setting than always on large tables of 8.

The bar/pool area is great and is the social centre of the village. One of the bartenders, Tony, is the best we’ve seen in all our Club Med visits – he is really friendly, keen to please, remembers your favourite drinks and is always on hand to teach you some Arabic – ‘Choukrane!’ As important, he is very organised and is constantly ensuring that the bar area is clean and hygienic. The coffee is excellent and ‘nibbles’ are provided before meals though there was too much white bread with the snacks. The range of drinks was reasonable but not extensive eg. no Baileys to go with your BMW cocktail or with your late night coffee. The local beer was of good quality.

As said before, the Club Med brochure describes the village as entirely and elegantly renovated but this is a bit generous as closer scrutiny shows that a lot more need be done. Improvements for the room we suggest include a mini-bar and your own iron/ironing board as we found at Columbus Isle, Kani and Le Riad. The bathroom was pretty cramped and uninspiring – elegant it was not. We recognise that this is a 3 Trident village but some small changes would make a big difference.

This was part of a two village trip for us as we also stayed at Club Med El Gouna – Mer Rouge for three days before flying back to France via Cairo. To transfer to El Gouna we had to arrange, via Abdou in the Luxor office, for a private air-conditioned mini-bus to take us on a four hour journey through desert terrain. This cost 70 euros for the two of us. As there have been some terrorist activities in the past the whole of Egypt seems to be patrolled by armed ‘Tourist Police’ – this was the case at all the archaeological sites near Luxor and at every hotel and road junction. Our four hour trip to El Gouna was no exception. We left the Club Med Luxor at 0730 and were taken in our mini-bus to a central point in Luxor where about 20 coaches and 15 minibuses met to take part in an armed escorted convoy to El Gouna. It really was an incredible sight being part of this armed convoy travelling through the rich greenness of the Nile valley before crossing the arid desert landscape to the Red Sea. We stopped halfway for toilets and the inevitable souvenir shops and cafeterias strategically placed in the middle of the desert along the Luxor-Hurghada main road..